Bizarre “heirlooms” from in-laws

[Anonymous]

Trust me from experience. You have to say no or you are her new dumping ground.

“Thank you auntie. We just won’t use them so I must say no. If Larla wants them for her kids, that’s great. If not I can take them to the Goodwill for you.”

I only accept jewelry (because it’s small and my MIL is wrongly convinced it’s valuable) and photographs because I do like old photos and I can scan and toss them.

[Anonymous]

I'd give them right back saying you can't ensure they'd be kept in good condition if you let the kids use them. I'd be careful- if you accept she'll keep trying to offload stuff on you to "store".

[Anonymous]

Even her daughter doesn’t want the dresses, her mother still wants to give them to her.

I’ve been asked by both my MIL and next door neighbor for stuff back that they gave me. In each case I had to lie (“can’t find it” and “it broke so I had to get rid of it”). So annoying!!

[Anonymous]

Give them back, don’t toss them.

Don’t store them.

[Anonymous]

"No thanks. The kids won't use them and I don't want to store them."

I suspect her own daughter already said no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask the daughter if she wants them. If she says no, just rid of them.

And learn to say no next time. It's so rude for people to assume that others can store things. I wouldn't have room in my small house.

[Anonymous]

Give your auntie a copy of the book "Swedish Death Cleaning" so she will stop guilting her trash on people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Trust me from experience. You have to say no or you are her new dumping ground.

“Thank you auntie. We just won’t use them so I must say no. If Larla wants them for her kids, that’s great. If not I can take them to the Goodwill for you.”

I only accept jewelry (because it’s small and my MIL is wrongly convinced it’s valuable) and photographs because I do like old photos and I can scan and toss them.

But has she told you she wants the jewelry back at some point? That’s the kicker. Now it’s op’s responsibility and there are strings attached. I never accept something that someone will want back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trust me from experience. You have to say no or you are her new dumping ground.

“Thank you auntie. We just won’t use them so I must say no. If Larla wants them for her kids, that’s great. If not I can take them to the Goodwill for you.”

I only accept jewelry (because it’s small and my MIL is wrongly convinced it’s valuable) and photographs because I do like old photos and I can scan and toss them.

But has she told you she wants the jewelry back at some point? That’s the kicker. Now it’s op’s responsibility and there are strings attached. I never accept something that someone will want back.

It really annoys me when somebody wants things back, especially when it was their offer in the first place. A large item like a stroller -- fine. But sometimes it's just bizarre -- like a wife of a friend of DH's once offered us kids' books -- and she was really insistent we choose some from her large collection --- with the caveat that when our kids outgrew them, she'd like them back. So now I'm supposed to keep track of a dozen kids' books that are going to get mixed in with all our other books so we can care for them and return them years from now? I don't know why she wanted them back, her kid was in her 20s by then. Just regular kids' books that we could get from the store or library.

[Anonymous]

Give them back for sure. I wouldn't have let them in the house - I won't take hand-me-downs with strings. No offense to people who offer, but I can't keep track of who gave us what or what needs to be saved, etc, and I want to be able to trash/donate freely. As soon as she said "I may want them back" I would have said, "Oh! I totally understand, but once we mix them in with our stuff, there's not telling what will happen. You should just keep them."

Now that you have them, your husband (it's his aunt, right?) should drive over with them and say "Hi Aunt Larla! So nice to think of us, but we've realized that once this stuff gets mixed in with our stuff, we'll truly lose track of them. You should keep them!" and hand them over no matter how much she insists.

[Anonymous]

Just say no, I refused to store old "antiques" and the relatives are still holding onto them 10-15 years later. Now they are planning on selling them but don't understand why they can't get what they are asking.

[Anonymous]

When someone gives you something but may want it back - that's called 'free storage'.

[Anonymous]

Ditto on the always say no or you will be a dumping ground. Older women will also use this as hook to entangle more with people. They envision being the coordinator of these treasures which involves giving, seeking another person who could use it, coordinating getting it back and to the new person and then back again. This all involves multiple calls, visits and basically gives them something to do.

For some the Ill want it back is a manipulative trick to make sure you don’t donate it.

[Anonymous]

That's a twist on hoarding. They want to hoard stuff, but they want you to store it. So they are just finding more space for their crap.

[Anonymous]

Give them back saying they are great but you don’t have the space to properly store them and you are worried the kids will be too rough on them.
Don’t throw them away.
I have 3 boys, 2,4 and 6 and, although it comes from a good place, I absolutely hate when people let them borrow things that are special to them that they want back. Things get lost or broken and the whole thing is anxiety inducing.