Why do people spend so much money on weddings?

[Anonymous]

I had a small COVID wedding and DH and I are so happy in hindsight. We saved so much money, and had all of our friends and family there over Zoom. But neither of us grew up dreaming of our weddings so we don’t mind missing out on the “big day.” We bought a house recently (down payment paid for with our savings from not throwing that big wedding, lol).

[Anonymous]

Because I have a large family scattered across the country, who all come together for weddings and funerals. Not to mention we were in our late 20s (almost 30) when we got married, so most friends were already married or in serious relationships, which meant all couples, no singles.

Loved our 250 person wedding (pre-covid), and have no regrets (parents contributed about 50% of the cost and we picked up the rest). BTW, we moved into the house we still live in the week before the wedding, and we bought it with 100% of our own money.

[Anonymous]

Because not much brings our community of family and friends together. It’s nice to have a ritual to express and celebrate joy. I do think somethings are over the top, but who am I to judge?

My $15,000 50 person wedding was perfect for us. I concentrated on making my guests comfortable. The rest is fluff.

[Anonymous]

We had a $10k 80 person wedding. It was a fun party that nobody went in debt over. Was much more fun than some of the very expensive ones I've attended over the years.

Spend whatever you want, but don't be silly enough to take on debt to throw a party for others.

[Anonymous]

It's THE day that we got all our family and friends from across the country and beyond together and we got to celebrate and be happy. It was the happiest day of my life.

Common in my social circle for all those same reasons.

I really feel for friends whose weddings were disrupted by Covid. There's no other day like it. I have two kids and multiple degrees and I still say that.

I know some people prefer smaller for their own reasons. But OP needing to post this Q is so strange. Isn't it obvious why people spend $$ on something they want just like many other things and experiences?

[Anonymous]

Because I married an Indian.

[Anonymous]

We spent 12k on a 50 person wedding.

It was cheap but SO MUCH FUN. We danced all night. People still talk about what a fun party that was.

I wish I had a 50k-60k budget to throw a beautiful fancy wedding. It wasn't in the cards for us but I enjoy going to other peoples fun elaborate weddings.

[Anonymous]

Because parties are fun!

[Anonymous]

The same reason people make any other poor financial choice, I suppose. Confusing wants and needs, forgetting about time value of money, forgetting what really matters in life, not wanting to look poor/keeping up with friends, etc. Of course this doesn’t apply when somebody could actually afford it or their parents pay and can afford it. But I think you need to be pretty well-off to really justify a 60K wedding. Or your culture needs to demand it, like Indians.

And you can’t tell me I’m judging friends. I have no clue what they spent on their weddings and I don’t care. I just think that in the abstract it’s mostly a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The same reason people make any other poor financial choice, I suppose. Confusing wants and needs, forgetting about time value of money, forgetting what really matters in life, not wanting to look poor/keeping up with friends, etc. Of course this doesn’t apply when somebody could actually afford it or their parents pay and can afford it. But I think you need to be pretty well-off to really justify a 60K wedding. Or your culture needs to demand it, like Indians.

And you can’t tell me I’m judging friends. I have no clue what they spent on their weddings and I don’t care. I just think that in the abstract it’s mostly a bad idea.

Okay that said, I spent 2500 on mine and I wish I had been able to spend more, mostly on invites (mine were awful), photography, and flying people out. But I was totally happy with my $200 dollar dress and my $100 dollar cake and the food we got for $700 (which everybody loved).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a small COVID wedding and DH and I are so happy in hindsight. We saved so much money, and had all of our friends and family there over Zoom. But neither of us grew up dreaming of our weddings so we don’t mind missing out on the “big day.” We bought a house recently (down payment paid for with our savings from not throwing that big wedding, lol).

Actually, Covid is the PERFECT excuse to have a small wedding and save all that money for something that lasts more than one day!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because I married an Indian.

Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh I did. I wish I didn’t. I’m so embarrassed by it. But it’s over. My DH loved it. My parents loved it.

Define "big." I spent an average of maybe $50-$60k on each daughter's wedding. Is that considered big? It seemed like money well spent. They were happy.

That is INSANE. That is a HUGE wedding. Nuts. Just nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh I did. I wish I didn’t. I’m so embarrassed by it. But it’s over. My DH loved it. My parents loved it.

Define "big." I spent an average of maybe $50-$60k on each daughter's wedding. Is that considered big? It seemed like money well spent. They were happy.

That is INSANE. That is a HUGE wedding. Nuts. Just nuts.

I agree, unless this person is really well-off.

But hey, we all do weird things.

[Anonymous]

I'm baffled by people who are baffled by why anyone would have a big wedding. We wanted to throw an awesome party for our friends and family. Isn't that enough?

If you don't want that, that's totally fine by me. But who is really, truly puzzled by why people do it? Do you wonder why people throw holiday parties, go out to dinner on their birthdays, or throw celebrations for their graduating children, too?