So burnt out and returning to the office soon

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a high income try to spend your way out (at least temporarily) by outsourcing everything. Paying extra for convenience as well. I’ve been there and it helps a lot. You can actually outsource almost everything these days and pay premiums for convenience.

I don't see OP talking about laundry or dishes. She says she has a busy draining job, a special needs kid, and her mental state is poor.

OP, it's okay to slack at work right now. Really. Do as little as you can safely get away with. I also agree with a PP that if you are the breadwinner your DH needs to step back at work and take over some of the kid issues.

If you can swing a vacation, I hope you take it.

DP. Special needs boarding schools exist.

[Anonymous]

OP - Can you start looking for a new job? For a good chunk of the pandemic, I was working in-house at a company and it was horrible. My boss was a micromanager, incompetent, long hours, etc. I found a new job with a much better company + better pay. I learned that better work environments DO exist. It's possible! Just letting you know that better days do come, and it's possible to work with understanding, compassionate, smart colleagues.

Start looking for jobs. I see a bunch of remote options too. Sending virtual hugs!

[Anonymous]

OP, do you have childcare in place for your return?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a high income try to spend your way out (at least temporarily) by outsourcing everything. Paying extra for convenience as well. I’ve been there and it helps a lot. You can actually outsource almost everything these days and pay premiums for convenience.

I don't see OP talking about laundry or dishes. She says she has a busy draining job, a special needs kid, and her mental state is poor.

OP, it's okay to slack at work right now. Really. Do as little as you can safely get away with. I also agree with a PP that if you are the breadwinner your DH needs to step back at work and take over some of the kid issues.

If you can swing a vacation, I hope you take it.

DP. Special needs boarding schools exist.

Do you know what they cost? Easily 150,000 per year.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you for all of the responses and commiseration. It sucks that so many of us are in the same boat and I am sending a virtual hug to all of you.

My DH does a lot but I probably do need to have him take over some of our son's appointments. He is only 2 so to an extent, we are in the "figuring things out" phase and that is very time-consuming/draining.

We do have childcare, thank God - I genuinely don't know how people with small kids are still functioning without it - but I definitely need to take more time for myself on the weekends. A vacation sounds amazing.. maybe even something local... What we really need is to find an overnight babysitter.

I am casually looking for new jobs but I probably do need to take that to the next level. I have been here a long time but the pay versus mental health toll probably isn't quite even at this point. Hard to really know or think about what is next but maybe it is time.

I feel like we as a society need to take a pause and acknowledge the unprecedented nature of the last year and change, but instead, seems like we are full steam ahead. Blah.

[Anonymous]

I would do something special for yourself that makes you feel pampered before going into the office (new outfit, mani/pedi, 9 hours of sleep, whatever).

I also think you might like going back to the office. My office too has been slammed during covid and I think I'd be able to handle things if I were allowed to go back in. With telework it's like the work never ends and there's no end to the work day. I think I had a better work life balance before covid.

I'm sorry for everything you're dealing with and wish you peace

[Anonymous]

I feel like we as a society need to take a pause and acknowledge the unprecedented nature of the last year and change, but instead, seems like we are full steam ahead. Blah.

I’m with you, OP!

Like PP, I quit. We have some savings but we are not high earners but my mental health and my child’s were suffering and a change was needed. It’s so much better now. Luckily for me, I’ve been doing PT freelance work and I’m making decent but benefits-free income.

I am also willing to help organize a general strike because it’s time for workers to have more power and say over their lives. I want universal healthcare and paid leave and I want the rich to be taxed a hell of a lot more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for all of the responses and commiseration. It sucks that so many of us are in the same boat and I am sending a virtual hug to all of you.

My DH does a lot but I probably do need to have him take over some of our son's appointments. He is only 2 so to an extent, we are in the "figuring things out" phase and that is very time-consuming/draining.

We do have childcare, thank God - I genuinely don't know how people with small kids are still functioning without it - but I definitely need to take more time for myself on the weekends. A vacation sounds amazing.. maybe even something local... What we really need is to find an overnight babysitter.

I am casually looking for new jobs but I probably do need to take that to the next level. I have been here a long time but the pay versus mental health toll probably isn't quite even at this point. Hard to really know or think about what is next but maybe it is time.

I feel like we as a society need to take a pause and acknowledge the unprecedented nature of the last year and change, but instead, seems like we are full steam ahead.[b] Blah.

OP, right there with you and the bolded is so true. There are so many posters on DCUM saying that if you did not lose a loved one, a job or a business, you have no right to complain. But lord, is my mental health suffering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for all of the responses and commiseration. It sucks that so many of us are in the same boat and I am sending a virtual hug to all of you.

My DH does a lot but I probably do need to have him take over some of our son's appointments. He is only 2 so to an extent, we are in the "figuring things out" phase and that is very time-consuming/draining.

We do have childcare, thank God - I genuinely don't know how people with small kids are still functioning without it - but I definitely need to take more time for myself on the weekends. A vacation sounds amazing.. maybe even something local... What we really need is to find an overnight babysitter.

I am casually looking for new jobs but I probably do need to take that to the next level. I have been here a long time but the pay versus mental health toll probably isn't quite even at this point. Hard to really know or think about what is next but maybe it is time.

I feel like we as a society need to take a pause and acknowledge the unprecedented nature of the last year and change, but instead, seems like we are full steam ahead.[b] Blah.

OP, right there with you and the bolded is so true. There are so many posters on DCUM saying that if you did not lose a loved one, a job or a business, you have no right to complain. But lord, is my mental health suffering.

Another here who is with you guys. My company actually went under, and though it's ok financially for us for me to not work for a bit, the idea of applying with all new people and a whole new business is SO daunting when I already feel like I'm drowning with everyday tasks (which I used to handle effortlessly). I feel like I've lost myself, and don't know how to get back. It's SO hard.

[Anonymous]

Go on sick leave. Stress leave. FMLA. Whatever you need. Use your sick days. The only person truly watching out for your health is you: Are you doing a great job at protecting yourself?

[Anonymous]

This thread really resonates. The thought of the morning rush and commute, then doing it all over as part of the evening rush…no thanks! Really stressful. It’s been hard but the lack of commute (40 minutes door-to-door) has given me so much more time with DS. We even went to the pool
at 5:30 last night. It was great! I dread losing that time with him. Might go part time if there aren’t remote options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I feel like we as a society need to take a pause and acknowledge the unprecedented nature of the last year and change, but instead, seems like we are full steam ahead. Blah.

I’m with you, OP!

Like PP, I quit. We have some savings but we are not high earners but my mental health and my child’s were suffering and a change was needed. It’s so much better now. Luckily for me, I’ve been doing PT freelance work and I’m making decent but benefits-free income.

I am also willing to help organize a general strike because it’s time for workers to have more power and say over their lives. I want universal healthcare and paid leave and I want the rich to be taxed a hell of a lot more.

I’m the PP above who is quitting. Feel this so much. I’m also moving over to freelance and I’m nervous, but I have to do it for my mental health and my family. I’m also just so frustrated by the lack of acknowledgment and accommodation including at my current job. I just want to stop being angry. I feel like I’ll feel better if I can just get some ownership of my time back.

[Anonymous]

I'm actually hoping that returning to the office will help me with my burn out, which I think comes from the fact that I live in my office (metaphorically speaking). I am on my computer/video calls nearly all hours of the day, because I have no reason not to be. No commutes, no work lunches, no outside meetings. Same for everyone I work with, so we are working ourselves to the bone. I really really really hope this changes.

[Anonymous]

Can you spoil yourself with babysitter, who cooks, 4pm to 8pm for a couple months? to take edge off and transition back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Commiseration. People are exhausted, mentally a wreck, some are grieving. I work in a field that was bonkers during the Trump years and we all thought there would be a break after the election but nope, it's been even busier. No one has anything left. That's part of why the "back to normal" talk grates - whatever the new normal is, I need a minute before it starts

Yes!

I've had the exact same thought. As an entire society, we just need a minute! Wouldn't it be nice if President Biden announced like a week of recovery from Covid, and we could all just take some time to rest? Like the week in between Christmas and New Years when only the most essential things get done.

It will never happen, but a burnt out mom can dream!