Sweet dog, no time for him...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you crate trained him? Sounds unlikely from the situation you describe. Dogs sleep 18-20 hours a day. They are perfectly happy to be in a crate for hours at a time, especially a crate in a quiet location with a covering that makes it a safe dark space like a den - like wolves make in the wild. A crate keeps the dog from chewing everything. It keeps the dog from being up in your shit all the time, and not letting you breathe.

But yeah, you’ve got to walk the dog at minimum once a day. That requirement can serve not only to teach your kids responsibility and empathy for another living thing - it can also teach them great habits like regular physical activity, rain or shine.

you are cruel. Leave the crate door open and see if your dog stays in there.

[Anonymous]

Do you use Nextdoor? I found a great dog walker right up the street from me. She comes every day at lunch, even while I’m home, and walks the dog. I k is how you feel, OP. I only have one kid and she doesn’t do what she should. She will go in the backyard and walk her, but we have to constantly remind it ask. It’s mostly on me. DH will play with her when he gets home, but I don’t know how life is going to look like once we get back to “normal.” That said, our dog just turned one year and she is MUCH better than she was even a month ago. They chill out as they age. And I have a beagle, pretty high maintenance.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

[Anonymous]

Pp here. Sorry for typos. Typing On my phone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you crate trained him? Sounds unlikely from the situation you describe. Dogs sleep 18-20 hours a day. They are perfectly happy to be in a crate for hours at a time, especially a crate in a quiet location with a covering that makes it a safe dark space like a den - like wolves make in the wild. A crate keeps the dog from chewing everything. It keeps the dog from being up in your shit all the time, and not letting you breathe.

But yeah, you’ve got to walk the dog at minimum once a day. That requirement can serve not only to teach your kids responsibility and empathy for another living thing - it can also teach them great habits like regular physical activity, rain or shine.

This is not an appropriate amount of time in a crate for a dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After school is done, my kids don’t get screens until the go play in the backyard with the dog.

Yes. They have to be made a priority. Also, with virtual school lunch being an hour, that's plenty of time to take the pup for a quick walk around the block.

[Anonymous]

I disagree that 9 is old enough to walk a dog alone. We have kids doing that in our neighborhood and Ive seen one dragged after a squirrel and another had a not-so-nice dog lunge at her dog and it scared her. Also they NEVER pick up the poop.

Get a midday dog walker. Seriously. You have too much to do and this will relieve some of the pressure on you and some of the pressure/angst on the dog.

I also like the no TV/activities thing before the dog is played with.

Finally as it is warming up, Id see if there are any local places to take a dog to swim. Your kids can have adventure hiking or whatever and then your dog can swim. Swimming tires out dogs for days. Only consideration is ear infections. We have to immediately dry out our dogs ears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, classic case of everyone agreed to pitch in, and yet I'm the only stuck with the pooch...

Sweet dog - the kids grab his tail, and everything and he won't harm a hair on anyone's head. But with the children sucked into virtual school and me glued to the PC all day; then there's afternoon activities (soccer, gymnastics, etc...) - no one has time for him other than the occasional romp around the house. No one wants to walk him, and I have to walk him, let him release, and bring him back in the house. He has chewed on everything this side of the planet, and won't let me breath. I don't have the energy for him, playmate, caregiver, and taxi, while parenting 3 children under 10.... my spouse business requires standing all day, so is completely exhausted upon returning home.

I want to get rid of the dog, but feel obligated to the commitment, the kids will be heartbroken - even though they don't lift a finger - and the pooch would lose it at the shelter....

Welcoming suggestions.

Signed,

Pooped.

Hire a dog walker. Take him to doggy day care. Hire a neighborhood kid to play . Cut back on some of your kid activities so they are responsible to help care for dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, classic case of everyone agreed to pitch in, and yet I'm the only stuck with the pooch...

Sweet dog - the kids grab his tail, and everything and he won't harm a hair on anyone's head. But with the children sucked into virtual school and me glued to the PC all day; then there's afternoon activities (soccer, gymnastics, etc...) - no one has time for him other than the occasional romp around the house. No one wants to walk him, and I have to walk him, let him release, and bring him back in the house. He has chewed on everything this side of the planet, and won't let me breath. I don't have the energy for him, playmate, caregiver, and taxi, while parenting 3 children under 10.... my spouse business requires standing all day, so is completely exhausted upon returning home.

I want to get rid of the dog, but feel obligated to the commitment, the kids will be heartbroken - even though they don't lift a finger - and the pooch would lose it at the shelter....

Welcoming suggestions.

Signed,

Pooped.

All of the above. It really sucks that so many people are now tired of their impulse pandemic puppies. It might be better for the dog if you rehome him -- but it would send a terrible message to your kids. If you take on a BIG RESPONSIBILITY, it's on you to follow through with it. Start by teaching your kids not to grab his tail and to actively play with him and walk him every day.


Hire a dog walker. Take him to doggy day care. Hire a neighborhood kid to play . Cut back on some of your kid activities so they are responsible to help care for dog.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP - we have a five month old puppy, two kids, and both parents working full-time, so I totally totally get being burned out on the dog. No judgment at all - it's really really hard. And I think it's really one of those things that you can't know how hard it is until you actually have a dog. They warn you, of course, but until you're living it, it's hard to internalize.

All that said, I would do a person assessment. Are you like 60% of the time happy you have a dog, but it's just you're feeling totally overwhelmed and need a break? Throw some money at the problem - put him in doggie daycare a couple of times a week, get a dog walker, etc. I've found that when I feel like it's just me every freaking time the dog needs attention/walking, I burn out pretty quickly. But when I get a break and don't feel like it's all on me, then I love the dog and love taking him for a walk or playing with him.

Absolutely your kids can/should help. Even at age 9. They can take him out back and run around in circles, they can take him for a walk around the block. They can play fetch/tug inside. They want the dog, they MUST be responsible for both the downsides and the upsides - it's a good lesson for your kids, think about it that way. When you take on a commitment, sometimes it's hard, but you suck it up and you do what you need to do. You're teaching them the wrong lesson right now, even though it's probably easier for you just to do everything and let them off the hook.

All that said, if you're totally miserable, never enjoying the dog, and are just completely wracked with guilt and regret, then please let yourself just find a new loving home for the pup. There are so many families that want a dog right now (it took us five months to get one from a rescue over the winter!!). You will be able to find someone, and the earlier/younger the better. Sometimes it just doesn't work out, and he will adjust just fine, especially so young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, classic case of everyone agreed to pitch in, and yet I'm the only stuck with the pooch...

Sweet dog - the kids grab his tail, and everything and he won't harm a hair on anyone's head. But with the children sucked into virtual school and me glued to the PC all day; then there's afternoon activities (soccer, gymnastics, etc...) - no one has time for him other than the occasional romp around the house. No one wants to walk him, and I have to walk him, let him release, and bring him back in the house. He has chewed on everything this side of the planet, and won't let me breath. I don't have the energy for him, playmate, caregiver, and taxi, while parenting 3 children under 10.... my spouse business requires standing all day, so is completely exhausted upon returning home.

I want to get rid of the dog, but feel obligated to the commitment, the kids will be heartbroken - even though they don't lift a finger - and the pooch would lose it at the shelter....

Welcoming suggestions.

Signed,

Pooped.

Completely exhausted by the dog? Come on . . . you took on the responsibility. You have lots of options:
-set up a schedule with kids and enforce it. Be the parent. Back in the day, if I didn't walk/play with dogs, feed, pick up poop in yard, I didn't get to go out and hand with friends until I did. You're letting yourself be a doormat and that's on you.
-If you can afford it: dog walker, doggy daycare
-If you cannot: take to a dog park and let the dog romp around w/o you having to walk it.

Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, classic case of everyone agreed to pitch in, and yet I'm the only stuck with the pooch...

Sweet dog - the kids grab his tail, and everything and he won't harm a hair on anyone's head. But with the children sucked into virtual school and me glued to the PC all day; then there's afternoon activities (soccer, gymnastics, etc...) - no one has time for him other than the occasional romp around the house. No one wants to walk him, and I have to walk him, let him release, and bring him back in the house. He has chewed on everything this side of the planet, and won't let me breath. I don't have the energy for him, playmate, caregiver, and taxi, while parenting 3 children under 10.... my spouse business requires standing all day, so is completely exhausted upon returning home.

I want to get rid of the dog, but feel obligated to the commitment, the kids will be heartbroken - even though they don't lift a finger - and the pooch would lose it at the shelter....

Welcoming suggestions.

Signed,

Pooped.

Completely exhausted by the dog? Come on . . . you took on the responsibility. You have lots of options:
-set up a schedule with kids and enforce it. Be the parent. Back in the day, if I didn't walk/play with dogs, feed, pick up poop in yard, I didn't get to go out and hand with friends until I did. You're letting yourself be a doormat and that's on you.
-If you can afford it: dog walker, doggy daycare
-If you cannot: take to a dog park and let the dog romp around w/o you having to walk it.

Done.

And I'll add, pp here, when this was in force it started in ES. Young kids are absolutely capable of feeding/picking up poop/walking dogs of appropriate size.

[Anonymous]

We have a dog walker come twice a day for our very, very active puppy. It helps tremendously. It's expensive, but the dog deserves it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you crate trained him? Sounds unlikely from the situation you describe. Dogs sleep 18-20 hours a day. They are perfectly happy to be in a crate for hours at a time, especially a crate in a quiet location with a covering that makes it a safe dark space like a den - like wolves make in the wild. A crate keeps the dog from chewing everything. It keeps the dog from being up in your shit all the time, and not letting you breathe.

But yeah, you’ve got to walk the dog at minimum once a day. That requirement can serve not only to teach your kids responsibility and empathy for another living thing - it can also teach them great habits like regular physical activity, rain or shine.

you are cruel. Leave the crate door open and see if your dog stays in there.

My dogs over 30+ years have had their crates available with the door open all day long - they go in there of their own accord very often. One of my dogs chose his crate at nighttime even though he was welcome to share my bed. If you honestly think crates are cruel, you understand nothing about dogs.

Don’t your children choose to go to their rooms and have quiet time of their own volition?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you crate trained him? Sounds unlikely from the situation you describe. Dogs sleep 18-20 hours a day. They are perfectly happy to be in a crate for hours at a time, especially a crate in a quiet location with a covering that makes it a safe dark space like a den - like wolves make in the wild. A crate keeps the dog from chewing everything. It keeps the dog from being up in your shit all the time, and not letting you breathe.

But yeah, you’ve got to walk the dog at minimum once a day. That requirement can serve not only to teach your kids responsibility and empathy for another living thing - it can also teach them great habits like regular physical activity, rain or shine.

This is not an appropriate amount of time in a crate for a dog.

My goodness how dense are you? I didn’t say to keep the dog in the crate for 18-20 hours! I said dogs are perfectly fine to be in their crate for hours at a time. And that is absolutely true.

You idiots who think crate training is cruel are dense about the instinctive nature of dogs and you are usually the azzholes who drop their juvenile dogs at the shelter after the puppy cute has worn off and they’re eating your shoes.

[Anonymous]

Here’s the fundamental truth about dogs that far too many people don’t make any attempt to understand. They aren’t people. If they were people, they’d be an irrational toddler. Leave an irrational toddler all alone in the house without any of its family and how quickly do you think it will behind crying and freaking out because it can’t find anybody and is terrified that is has been abandoned? Not long at all for the vast majority of toddlers.

Most dogs, especially young dogs, are full of energy which translates to anxiety when they’re not sufficiently exercised. Most family dogs aren’t sufficiently exercised, but even if they get a decent about of exercise, they can still experience SEPARATION ANXIETY when all the people leave the house, or even when none of the people are paying them any attention. And to alleviate that anxiety they will eat your shoes, your sofa, your carpet, your woodwork - you name it they will destroy it because chewing is one of the primary ways dogs relieve anxiety.

Putting a dog in his own little room - big enough to stand up, turn around, stretch, reposition and curl back up for a safe little nap time - is the KINDEST thing you can do when leaving your dog home alone or unattended for hours at a time. The safety and security of his own little space that smells like him, with his familiar little bed and blanket, provides great comfort to the dog. Just like infants like to be swaddled and secure, and toddlers like the comfort of familiar surroundings but not to be running around alone in the great big cavernous house.

Crates aren’t just about keeping your dog from messing on the floor. They’re about safety and security in how your dog FEELS when you must ignore him for hours or leave him home alone for hours. The crate substitutes for the den that ancients dogs - WOLVES - reside in. Wolves don’t sleep out in the open with the whole big world around them, and they certainly don’t leave their wolf pups in that condition for hours on end when they go to hunt. They stay inside a snug little den that is dark and comforting and safe from all the big scary sounds and stimulations of the bigger world.