If you are Jewish, does it impact where in the country you would move?

[Anonymous]

Absolutely. I dated a guy from a small town in Michigan all through college and went back home with him a few times to see his family. I very quickly learned not to tell the people in that town that I was Jewish. The looks of horror, people recoiling, his dad ultimately telling my college boyfriend that he was very disappointed in his choosing to “associate” with me and that if he had to go “exotic” he would have preferred to “a Black girl who was a Christian”. I would not want my children exposed to people like that if I can avoid it. And I don’t want them living in a place where they are “othered”.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but there are lots of places outside of DC NYC and LA that would be ok. I have Jewish friends and relatives in Atlanta and midwest cities (Chicago, Indianapolis, Cleveland) and all have nice jewish populations and lower cost of living (not Chicago)

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't. I went to HS in a small town. I was one of only two Jews at any time in the school and almost everyone in the town was friends through church. I was told I "threatened" people because I was "different" (partly because I didn't go to church with them). I also had to listen to some of my teachers bash Jews and Jewish institutions in class, and I was supposed to read the New Testament as "literature". The adults were no better than the kids, either. I would never put myself through that again. I would need to be in a community where I could make friends without faking being Christian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but there are lots of places outside of DC NYC and LA that would be ok. I have Jewish friends and relatives in Atlanta and midwest cities (Chicago, Indianapolis, Cleveland) and all have nice jewish populations and lower cost of living (not Chicago)

I used to wear a Jewish star necklace every day. I got a lot of nasty looks in Atlanta and surrounds. I went there on a number of occasions to visit my best friend and I never felt comfortable when wearing my necklace, though I wore it anyway. (Also didn't love seeing the confederate flag displayed everywhere we went, either.)

I never had that feeling in the various coastal cities I've lived in or traveled in, nor outside of Detroit, which I've visited regularly all my life as I have family there. Although my grandmother, who still lives outside Detroit, says she stopped wearing her chai necklace about 10 years ago because she felt threatened. She could not point to any specific incident though.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in big southern city which has a large Jewish community, but also went to public schools. It was fine 90% of the time but there were still people trying to convert me and in one case a teacher who purposely scheduled tests for the Jewish holidays because she hated that we took those days off. In NYC, DC, LA, etc you are less likely to deal with stuff like that... although these days unfortunately anti Semitism is everywhere. Just look at the shooting in Jersey City and the vandalism in LA in the past few days, and Hasidic people regularly getting assaulted in Brooklyn.

[Anonymous]

My decision would be driven more by other factors - proximity to family, a Trader Joe's... I quite like living in a bit city where it's easy to find other Jews, but grew up in the midwest in a city where it was a bit harder. But... we're every where: https://www.minyanmaps.com/

[Anonymous]

Absolutely! I would need to live near other Jews. Especially in these times when there is so much open hatred of Jews.

[Anonymous]

Yes it’s important. I wouldn’t bash the south though. There are a lot of thriving Jewish communities in Evangelical areas like Charleston, Nashville, Atlanta, Birmingham etc.

[Anonymous]

After living in Rockville, it would be hard for me to live in an area without a significant jewish community. I’m spoiled by the ability to run into Motis and pick up a roasted chicken for dinner. I love that we can walk to shul and that my kids can play on sports teams that practice during the week and have games on Sunday, not Saturday.

[Anonymous]

To be fair, for those of us of a “certain age,” small American towns have changed a lot since the 70s and 80s. When I was growing up in a small town, we used to have to drive 1/2 hour to get Chinese food. Now there are Thai, Indian and African restaurants on the Main Street. I wonder how much small towns have changed psychologically since the days of our youths.

[Anonymous]

Yes, we did it, when our kids where young.

I would say that in some ways it was nice. The synagogue/temple became part of daily life and an extended family. Because in the summers our kids did not do vacation bible school.

Living in MD with a huge Jewish population things tend to be more cultural and not as meaningful. Most of the kids in the smaller community had a great sense of who they were unlike in the local DC area.

[Anonymous]

Not to hijack this thread but as an African-American, I wholly agree with the sentiment of other posters. I would never retire to a town where there aren't others like myself. No explanation necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to hijack this thread but as an African-American, I wholly agree with the sentiment of other posters. I would never retire to a town where there aren't others like myself. No explanation necessary.

I was going to say the same thing. I think there's probably a lot of overlap in where Jews and AAs would choose to live. As an AA, I like to live in areas that have at least 10-15% AAs. If I had my druthers I would always choose large coastal cities (and so far that's worked out, both West and East Coasts).

[Anonymous]

Absolutely. I went to college in a very small town in the midwest. I probably wouldn't want my kids doing that. Just too much.

[Anonymous]

Grew up in a small Midwestern college town and went to college in a medium-sized Midwestern city with a huge Hillel. Definitely felt like the other as a kid, but was in a fairly diverse environment, so there were lots of “others.” We vacation near a small college town with a synagogue with 13 members, that was recently vandalized (on orders of some dark net white power sect from NJ): https://thejewishnews.com/2019/09/24/temple-jacob-vandalized-with-swastikas-and-ss-logos/. The whole town of non-Jews came out in real time to help out. There is a beauty in small towns and small Jewish communities. This synagogue has services/religious school once a month which wouldn’t be enough for us, but in retirement for part of the year? Maybe.