Need advice about upsetting incident at work

[Anonymous]

Whatever you do, don’t say anything. You can’t improve this workplace and you’ll only hurt yourself.

You can decide to live with it. You can figure out how to signal respect for whatever group it was on your own (NOT in a way that is directed at the offender). You can start to look for another job.

I’m not giving you this advice as an employee of a family business, I’m giving it to you as a member of the family. Especially if you’re into later generations, it is almost never good. Even if the business is still successful, it’s not a place where you can improve the culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, you are really sensitive. Sometimes people say really stupid stuff in the heat of the moment. If it has been addressed move on. That said, I’m a lobbyist so I wouldn’t be able to exist if I was upset every time someone disparaged my profession.

+1. Good grief. Is this your first job OP? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people disparage my line of work and I’m certain me of theirs at some point. F***ing crybabies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whatever you do, don’t say anything. You can’t improve this workplace and you’ll only hurt yourself.

You can decide to live with it. You can figure out how to signal respect for whatever group it was on your own (NOT in a way that is directed at the offender). You can start to look for another job.

I’m not giving you this advice as an employee of a family business, I’m giving it to you as a member of the family. Especially if you’re into later generations, it is almost never good. Even if the business is still successful, it’s not a place where you can improve the culture.

"I think the issue is less the swearing and more the comment about a whole group. I imagine the person said f**king secretaries. That is the group the OP belongs to. And now she will respect the CE less for being a douche about secretaries. (Not sure if that is the group but only one I could think of in a family business- not likely to be teachers or nurses. It was addressed and swiftly. So be glad you work in a place where that sentiment is a super minority and where issues that are not values aligned are addressed and not swept under the rug.

Also don’t gossip. Talk to the source or someone who was there and is your direct chain of supervisory"

OP here, thank you both, you seem to "get" my concern. Bottom line: if I had spoken that way at work, I'm sure I would have been marched right down to HR and disciplined. What is the most bothersome is the imbalance of power, she knows she can get away with it.

Her statement was corroborated by someone in management, so I don't really think it's gossip.

Love the comment about taking the high road, thank you everyone!

[Anonymous]

When you said "f***ing _____" I thought it was going to be a racial slur, not your job title.

Grow some thicker skin if you want to be out in the adult world... sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Why do women get upset so easily? I mean this is enough to upset you? Seriously?

[Anonymous]

Are you young, op? I honestly can’t imagine being upset over something like this.

[Anonymous]

Do you have an emotional support animal and hover over the toilet too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do women get upset so easily? I mean this is enough to upset you? Seriously?

Uhhh, we don't. And we don't even know if Op is a man or a woman, do we?

I'm a woman and this whole thing sounds flat out ridiculous to me, tbh. Sorry, Op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did she say “contractors”? I used to hear this at one of my old jobs (I was an employee) and thought it rude and obnoxious. The office was not diverse (in terms of FTEs) and most of the contractors were African American.

At any rate I’d ignore her as much as possible and do my job.

Oh yeah, or "consultants"! There are lots of groups that take heat. What about those f**cking interns and summer associates. Geez. Newbs who can't follow a dress code. LOL.

[Anonymous]

I would be amused. Life is too short to worry about stuff like this.

You sound quite fragile and high maintenance, to be honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be amused. Life is too short to worry about stuff like this.

You sound quite fragile and high maintenance, to be honest.

Agreed. I've been in OPs situation and just rolled my eyes at the person's exaggerated wording.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do women get upset so easily? I mean this is enough to upset you? Seriously?

Men, famously, never get overly upset about anything.