Dealing with other parents at school

[Anonymous]

OP here.
1) No, our preschool is not expensive and nowhere near $40k a year.
2) This person's car was not from what I could tell a super expensive car. It looked like a new-ish sports model of a regular make.
3) We have two young kids and both work. I don't know the last time I had a minute to think about the shininess of my car, but I'm guessing it was either well before my first was born or never.
4) Yes, the parent who was interrogating the kids at the playground was crazy. He even asked my child if he was lying and then got his child again to verify that what my child said was correct (expressing in the meantime his anger at his child for not telling the truth in the first place). Honestly, if you're going to believe everything your 4 year old tells you at home, yes you need to get a life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn't let a 4-year old open a car door himself, if there is another car within hitting distance. That's irresponsible, and you know there's a chance in 5 your kid would hit the other car, and 10 chances in 10 that your 4 year old will hit at least a car or two if you always let him open his own car door in tight parking spots.

But I can tell from the state of my car sides that people in DC DGAF about damaging other people's cars.

Nope, because in DC most people do not have their entire identities tied up in their cars. No, I really really do not care if someone's car (or my own car) gets a small (or large) scratch on it from a kid opening a door into it in a parking lot. I really do not understand why people think that small dings and dents on cars are such a big deal. Everything else that we wear or use gets worn out through daily use- shoes, clothing, etc. If some kid spills paint on my shirt by accident I am not going to yell at him. So if you really think that it is such a big deal for a kid to open a car door into your door then call the F down and realize that you are mad at a child over a piece of property that is depreciating every day no matter what.

+1

Currently drive a newish CRV. (<50k miles).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I try to assume the best about people but those incidents sound over the top. I don’t think it’s wrong to address rude behavior in other kids though like they cannot be addressed. If you see someone hurting someone else it isn’t wrong to say “hey keep your hands to yourself” I wouldn’t mind that from another parent towards my kids. Even saying please don’t write on Larla’s jacket is ok if you are watching it happen but questioning kids and seeking out the culprit is CRAZY and you can assume they may have some mental problems. The school needs to address that parent launching the playground investigation over writing on clothes.

OP here. Yes of course, I agree with this. By all means parent if you are within sight of your child. But following up on at-home testimony to directly take it up with a four-year-old after the fact is so weird. Totally inappropriate to take it up with the child at that point. If you really must, talk to the parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn't let a 4-year old open a car door himself, if there is another car within hitting distance. That's irresponsible, and you know there's a chance in 5 your kid would hit the other car, and 10 chances in 10 that your 4 year old will hit at least a car or two if you always let him open his own car door in tight parking spots.

But I can tell from the state of my car sides that people in DC DGAF about damaging other people's cars.

Nope, because in DC most people do not have their entire identities tied up in their cars. No, I really really do not care if someone's car (or my own car) gets a small (or large) scratch on it from a kid opening a door into it in a parking lot. I really do not understand why people think that small dings and dents on cars are such a big deal. Everything else that we wear or use gets worn out through daily use- shoes, clothing, etc. If some kid spills paint on my shirt by accident I am not going to yell at him. So if you really think that it is such a big deal for a kid to open a car door into your door then call the F down and realize that you are mad at a child over a piece of property that is depreciating every day no matter what.

+1

Currently drive a newish CRV. (<50k miles).

Yes, exactly. I get if you're like 25 and think the world revolves around you, you think your car is the end all and be all of the universe. You'd think people would have some perspective on what is important and a major deal in life after having kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn't let a 4-year old open a car door himself, if there is another car within hitting distance. That's irresponsible, and you know there's a chance in 5 your kid would hit the other car, and 10 chances in 10 that your 4 year old will hit at least a car or two if you always let him open his own car door in tight parking spots.

But I can tell from the state of my car sides that people in DC DGAF about damaging other people's cars.

Nope, because in DC most people do not have their entire identities tied up in their cars. No, I really really do not care if someone's car (or my own car) gets a small (or large) scratch on it from a kid opening a door into it in a parking lot. I really do not understand why people think that small dings and dents on cars are such a big deal. Everything else that we wear or use gets worn out through daily use- shoes, clothing, etc. If some kid spills paint on my shirt by accident I am not going to yell at him. So if you really think that it is such a big deal for a kid to open a car door into your door then call the F down and realize that you are mad at a child over a piece of property that is depreciating every day no matter what.

+1

Currently drive a newish CRV. (<50k miles).

Yes, exactly. I get if you're like 25 and think the world revolves around you, you think your car is the end all and be all of the universe. You'd think people would have some perspective on what is important and a major deal in life after having kids.

My identity isn’t tied up in my car, but we lease and the dings and scratches will be money out my pocket when we return the car.

[Anonymous]

OP - you sounds nuts. Calm down and stop taking things so personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn't let a 4-year old open a car door himself, if there is another car within hitting distance. That's irresponsible, and you know there's a chance in 5 your kid would hit the other car, and 10 chances in 10 that your 4 year old will hit at least a car or two if you always let him open his own car door in tight parking spots.

But I can tell from the state of my car sides that people in DC DGAF about damaging other people's cars.

You’re a psycho.

I love it when someone complains "parents be crazy" then a parent posts something crazy.

Ugh. No, this is more like the moment that PP starts to realize they are the crazy ones...

[Anonymous]

My identity isn’t tied up in my car, but we lease and the dings and scratches will be money out my pocket when we return the car.

This sounds like a personal problem and a choice you’ve made. Be careful about where you park your car to make sure it doesn’t get damaged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s because you have part of your ego tied to your car.

I have a 7 year old Honda Civic and still get upset by dings. Another pp.

[Anonymous]

Wait wait wait.
Let's put aside the adult yelling at other people's kids for a second.

You all think it's totally OK to let 4 year old put dents and scratches in the cars next to your car, AND you don't think that it shows that you think the world revolves around you?

You think that people are psycho for expecting parents to keep their 4 year olds from dinging other people's cars AND you think it's on them to not park within dinging distance of another car door or to not lease a car if they don't want to lose money on it from your preschooler's scratches?

OK, I don't believe this one bit, and I think the thread is being trolled.

[Anonymous]

I am always mindful of other people's property be it a new car or a 30 year old bomb. As such, I'd be pretty mad if some careless parent allowed their kid to ding my "newish" car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait wait wait.
Let's put aside the adult yelling at other people's kids for a second.

You all think it's totally OK to let 4 year old put dents and scratches in the cars next to your car, AND you don't think that it shows that you think the world revolves around you?

You think that people are psycho for expecting parents to keep their 4 year olds from dinging other people's cars AND you think it's on them to not park within dinging distance of another car door or to not lease a car if they don't want to lose money on it from your preschooler's scratches?

OK, I don't believe this one bit, and I think the thread is being trolled.

No. I don’t think it’s OK. And my kid didn’t do it. I also don’t think it’s ok to tell another parent off for something like that twice when nothing happened to your car. He was rude and said it with a scowl. Twice. Nothing happened. If that were me and I were worried, I’d say “do you need more room? I can back out.” There are definitely polite and socially appropriate ways to signal that you are concerned. Why be rude to another parent at your kid’s (tiny) school?