Are you happy as a SAHM of school aged kids? Why or why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what would you do with your time? after a few months, wouldn't it get boring?

Working mom here. I can't quit because we need the money so I have no dog in this fight.

But, I don't get this question. Don't you have hobbies and things you like to do? School is only 6 hours during the day. It's not really that much time to fill, especially if you have to fill some of it running errands and cleaning. I've always been jealous of the women I see doing 2 back to back classes at the gym and then going in the sauna or getting a message. I never have time for that. I'm always running and trying to squeeze things in.

Working parent here. Yeah, it’s 6 hours. I would almost do anything for 6 free hours a day. Seriously. I should have married a rich man!

I mean, I could fill it with hobbies, netflix etc.... don't know if that's the way to live though

What's wrong with it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I SAH full-time when my son was 0-2. I went back to work very part-time when he turned 2 (10 hours per week) and now work the same now (he is 5 and in Kindergarten). So I consider myself somewhat of a SAHM. I plan to continue working 10 hours per week throughout elementary school at least. I love my schedule. It's the perfect mix of work an leisure. Here's why I only work 10 hours per week:

-DH is in a very inflexible, non-family friendly job. His hours are 6 am - 6 pm and will never change. He can never do drop offs or pick ups, sick days or snow days. Since I have to do all those things it makes sense for me to have a very flexible, part-time job.

-No local family in the area to help out for sick days or snow days.

-DH can't attend any programs/events at the school unless he takes the entire day off, so he can't take the morning off to go to a school event, for example. Since we have no family in the area I feel like I need to be at every single school program/event so my son has someone there.

-DH works 70 hour weeks. I take care of all the grocery shopping, meal prep, cleaning and repairs.

-Since I don't work every day, I still have free time to get appointments done, shop, work out, hobbies, etc. It's great.

working mom here.

10 hours is nothing. why even bother? I think our interns even do more than 10 hours a week.

PP here. Why bother? Because I get to be a professional in the field I love but work reasonable hours, make good money (I get paid a lot per hour), and be there for everything my child needs (sick days, snow days, all school activities, volunteer at the school). It's enough hours that I stay intellectually engaged but not enough hours that I feel burned out. It's perfect and I love my schedule.

I guess I'm just wondering what you can even accomplish in 10 hours.

Are you per diem?

One ten hour day a week would make sense.

But splitting it up over 3 or 5 days is crazy. What could you even get done in that time?!

NP here. Theres a lot of piecemeal work you could do like that. I review upcoming changes to my company’s software to see if it warrants a change to our documentation. If the change is small, I make the modification myself. If it’s a significant change, someone else handles it. I spend a couple hours a day doing that. Works for the company, works for me. Different people have different jobs, different companies have different needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds very lazy to quit working to stay at home once your children don't require childcare during the day because they're in school. Is that your actual plan? I don't know anyone who does/did that.

It happens when DH career takes off (makes partner, break 7 figures, etc)

+ 1

I am always a little amused/perplexed at these threads. I guess because I grew up very wealthy (father was a CEO of a company everyone's heard of) and it was very common place to see rich people not working.

Throughout history, rich people have always and will always use their money to get out of doing things they don't like. Like cleaning! Or working! lol

Fwiw, my DH and I are both in middle class careers and my parents don't give us any money (besides education and house down payment) so we have to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I SAH full-time when my son was 0-2. I went back to work very part-time when he turned 2 (10 hours per week) and now work the same now (he is 5 and in Kindergarten). So I consider myself somewhat of a SAHM. I plan to continue working 10 hours per week throughout elementary school at least. I love my schedule. It's the perfect mix of work an leisure. Here's why I only work 10 hours per week:

-DH is in a very inflexible, non-family friendly job. His hours are 6 am - 6 pm and will never change. He can never do drop offs or pick ups, sick days or snow days. Since I have to do all those things it makes sense for me to have a very flexible, part-time job.

-No local family in the area to help out for sick days or snow days.

-DH can't attend any programs/events at the school unless he takes the entire day off, so he can't take the morning off to go to a school event, for example. Since we have no family in the area I feel like I need to be at every single school program/event so my son has someone there.

-DH works 70 hour weeks. I take care of all the grocery shopping, meal prep, cleaning and repairs.

-Since I don't work every day, I still have free time to get appointments done, shop, work out, hobbies, etc. It's great.

working mom here.

10 hours is nothing. why even bother? I think our interns even do more than 10 hours a week.

PP here. Why bother? Because I get to be a professional in the field I love but work reasonable hours, make good money (I get paid a lot per hour), and be there for everything my child needs (sick days, snow days, all school activities, volunteer at the school). It's enough hours that I stay intellectually engaged but not enough hours that I feel burned out. It's perfect and I love my schedule.

I guess I'm just wondering what you can even accomplish in 10 hours.

Are you per diem?

One ten hour day a week would make sense.

But splitting it up over 3 or 5 days is crazy. What could you even get done in that time?!

NP here. Theres a lot of piecemeal work you could do like that. I review upcoming changes to my company’s software to see if it warrants a change to our documentation. If the change is small, I make the modification myself. If it’s a significant change, someone else handles it. I spend a couple hours a day doing that. Works for the company, works for me. Different people have different jobs, different companies have different needs.

2 hours a day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds very lazy to quit working to stay at home once your children don't require childcare during the day because they're in school. Is that your actual plan? I don't know anyone who does/did that.

It happens when DH career takes off (makes partner, break 7 figures, etc)

+ 1

If I made this kind of money, I wouldn't mind DH quitting to become a SAHD and taking all that stuff - kids, doctor's appointments, sick days, cleaning, errands, etc. - off my plate.

[Anonymous]

I'm lucky. I like my job a ton and the QOL of a school age kid does not decline because I work--my commute is short and I can leave early so the bus arrives in my neighborhood when I get home (4 something).

[Anonymous]

I am yeah.

But. Here are the caveats.

1. I hated the career I initially trained for (teaching). It wasn't the right fit for me and I was totally miserable doing it. Every year in September when I start to see the school buses practicing their routes before school starts, I genuinely feel so thankful that I'm not going back to work as a teacher and that I don't have to.

2. I can't think of another career I'd actually LIKE to do. Since I am fortunate enough not to have to work for money, it makes sense that I'd only go back to work if I came across something that genuinely interests me. I can't think of anything. There are things that I'm sort of interested in (like psychology) and I think about going back to school to study that but I don't really want to be a counselor or a social worker. So it seems like it would be a waste of money. I love to read and I think about maybe training to be an editor (I was an editor on our school newspaper in college) but when I really think about the work involved, and that most likely I would have to be reading and editing crap day in day out, it makes me reconsider.

Maybe I am kind of lazy? Because I LOVE not working. I love not having a boss. I love not being forced to spend time with people I might dislike (co-workers). I love being able to choose what I do during the day and the flexibility I have. I love having time to work out, shop for fresh produce, and cook healthy meals. I'm in the best shape of my life because I have the free time to do these things. It always baffles me when people say on these threads "I would be so bored not working!" I'm honestly never bored. I work out, I read a lot, I meet friends for lunch or a coffee, I shop for dinner and then cook, I volunteer, I spend time with my kids, I keep up with long distance friends over social media, etc. etc.

I get it if this wouldn't be enough for you (I know there are types who aren't satisfied just "working out" but need to be training for marathons or mountain climbing or need some huge goal in mind) but it is for me and I think a lot of people.

3. If I was in a career I LOVED, I'd still be working probably. That just never happened for me.

4. Our kids are very active and busy with their own activities and I enjoy taking them and watching them do their thing. On the days that they're not, sometimes we just curl up on the couch together and watch movies. I honestly enjoy that but I think some parents find it boring and would rather be at work. I wouldn't. SAHM is a good fit for me in that way.

5. My husband makes a lot of money so we have a really nice lifestyle. I wouldn't do this if we couldn't travel a lot, live in a nice house, pay for the kids' college educations, etc. etc. We save a lot and we have a large life insurance and disability policy in case something were to happen to him.

He also likes his job and wouldn't quit even if we won the lottery or something. He runs his own business so he's working for himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds very lazy to quit working to stay at home once your children don't require childcare during the day because they're in school. Is that your actual plan? I don't know anyone who does/did that.

I WOH f/t, but to me it makes plenty of sense to be home when the kids get older and have more homework/after school activities. I could totally fill the hours my kids are at school with life maintenance stuff... and I don't mean the spa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I SAH full-time when my son was 0-2. I went back to work very part-time when he turned 2 (10 hours per week) and now work the same now (he is 5 and in Kindergarten). So I consider myself somewhat of a SAHM. I plan to continue working 10 hours per week throughout elementary school at least. I love my schedule. It's the perfect mix of work an leisure. Here's why I only work 10 hours per week:

-DH is in a very inflexible, non-family friendly job. His hours are 6 am - 6 pm and will never change. He can never do drop offs or pick ups, sick days or snow days. Since I have to do all those things it makes sense for me to have a very flexible, part-time job.

-No local family in the area to help out for sick days or snow days.

-DH can't attend any programs/events at the school unless he takes the entire day off, so he can't take the morning off to go to a school event, for example. Since we have no family in the area I feel like I need to be at every single school program/event so my son has someone there.

-DH works 70 hour weeks. I take care of all the grocery shopping, meal prep, cleaning and repairs.

-Since I don't work every day, I still have free time to get appointments done, shop, work out, hobbies, etc. It's great.

working mom here.

10 hours is nothing. why even bother? I think our interns even do more than 10 hours a week.

PP here. Why bother? Because I get to be a professional in the field I love but work reasonable hours, make good money (I get paid a lot per hour), and be there for everything my child needs (sick days, snow days, all school activities, volunteer at the school). It's enough hours that I stay intellectually engaged but not enough hours that I feel burned out. It's perfect and I love my schedule.

I guess I'm just wondering what you can even accomplish in 10 hours.

Are you per diem?

One ten hour day a week would make sense.

But splitting it up over 3 or 5 days is crazy. What could you even get done in that time?!

NP here. Theres a lot of piecemeal work you could do like that. I review upcoming changes to my company’s software to see if it warrants a change to our documentation. If the change is small, I make the modification myself. If it’s a significant change, someone else handles it. I spend a couple hours a day doing that. Works for the company, works for me. Different people have different jobs, different companies have different needs.

2 hours a day?

Yes. Is that somehow hard to comprehend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what would you do with your time? after a few months, wouldn't it get boring?

Working mom here. I can't quit because we need the money so I have no dog in this fight.

But, I don't get this question. Don't you have hobbies and things you like to do? School is only 6 hours during the day. It's not really that much time to fill, especially if you have to fill some of it running errands and cleaning. I've always been jealous of the women I see doing 2 back to back classes at the gym and then going in the sauna or getting a message. I never have time for that. I'm always running and trying to squeeze things in.

+ 1

I don't understand this question either!

What do ya'll do on weekends?? Don't you have hobbies? Or take up something new! The world would be your oyster!

I am so jealous of anyone who can do this. It's kind of like retiring early while you're still young enough and healthy enough to actually enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I SAH full-time when my son was 0-2. I went back to work very part-time when he turned 2 (10 hours per week) and now work the same now (he is 5 and in Kindergarten). So I consider myself somewhat of a SAHM. I plan to continue working 10 hours per week throughout elementary school at least. I love my schedule. It's the perfect mix of work an leisure. Here's why I only work 10 hours per week:

-DH is in a very inflexible, non-family friendly job. His hours are 6 am - 6 pm and will never change. He can never do drop offs or pick ups, sick days or snow days. Since I have to do all those things it makes sense for me to have a very flexible, part-time job.

-No local family in the area to help out for sick days or snow days.

-DH can't attend any programs/events at the school unless he takes the entire day off, so he can't take the morning off to go to a school event, for example. Since we have no family in the area I feel like I need to be at every single school program/event so my son has someone there.

-DH works 70 hour weeks. I take care of all the grocery shopping, meal prep, cleaning and repairs.

-Since I don't work every day, I still have free time to get appointments done, shop, work out, hobbies, etc. It's great.

working mom here.

10 hours is nothing. why even bother? I think our interns even do more than 10 hours a week.

PP here. Why bother? Because I get to be a professional in the field I love but work reasonable hours, make good money (I get paid a lot per hour), and be there for everything my child needs (sick days, snow days, all school activities, volunteer at the school). It's enough hours that I stay intellectually engaged but not enough hours that I feel burned out. It's perfect and I love my schedule.

I guess I'm just wondering what you can even accomplish in 10 hours.

Are you per diem?

One ten hour day a week would make sense.

But splitting it up over 3 or 5 days is crazy. What could you even get done in that time?!

NP here. Theres a lot of piecemeal work you could do like that. I review upcoming changes to my company’s software to see if it warrants a change to our documentation. If the change is small, I make the modification myself. If it’s a significant change, someone else handles it. I spend a couple hours a day doing that. Works for the company, works for me. Different people have different jobs, different companies have different needs.

2 hours a day?

Yes. Is that somehow hard to comprehend?

I mean yeah. In my experience, I don't actually accomplish much in 2 hours. It takes 30 minutes to settle in once I get to work. Gotta get my coffee, check my email, check my planner, reschedule conflicts or priorities, colleagues inevitably come by to chat. And that's not even including the issue of morning meetings!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I SAH full-time when my son was 0-2. I went back to work very part-time when he turned 2 (10 hours per week) and now work the same now (he is 5 and in Kindergarten). So I consider myself somewhat of a SAHM. I plan to continue working 10 hours per week throughout elementary school at least. I love my schedule. It's the perfect mix of work an leisure. Here's why I only work 10 hours per week:

-DH is in a very inflexible, non-family friendly job. His hours are 6 am - 6 pm and will never change. He can never do drop offs or pick ups, sick days or snow days. Since I have to do all those things it makes sense for me to have a very flexible, part-time job.

-No local family in the area to help out for sick days or snow days.

-DH can't attend any programs/events at the school unless he takes the entire day off, so he can't take the morning off to go to a school event, for example. Since we have no family in the area I feel like I need to be at every single school program/event so my son has someone there.

-DH works 70 hour weeks. I take care of all the grocery shopping, meal prep, cleaning and repairs.

-Since I don't work every day, I still have free time to get appointments done, shop, work out, hobbies, etc. It's great.

working mom here.

10 hours is nothing. why even bother? I think our interns even do more than 10 hours a week.

PP here. Why bother? Because I get to be a professional in the field I love but work reasonable hours, make good money (I get paid a lot per hour), and be there for everything my child needs (sick days, snow days, all school activities, volunteer at the school). It's enough hours that I stay intellectually engaged but not enough hours that I feel burned out. It's perfect and I love my schedule.

I guess I'm just wondering what you can even accomplish in 10 hours.

Are you per diem?

One ten hour day a week would make sense.

But splitting it up over 3 or 5 days is crazy. What could you even get done in that time?!

NP here. Theres a lot of piecemeal work you could do like that. I review upcoming changes to my company’s software to see if it warrants a change to our documentation. If the change is small, I make the modification myself. If it’s a significant change, someone else handles it. I spend a couple hours a day doing that. Works for the company, works for me. Different people have different jobs, different companies have different needs.

2 hours a day?

Yes. Is that somehow hard to comprehend?

I mean yeah. In my experience, I don't actually accomplish much in 2 hours. It takes 30 minutes to settle in once I get to work. Gotta get my coffee, check my email, check my planner, reschedule conflicts or priorities, colleagues inevitably come by to chat. And that's not even including the issue of morning meetings!

Well, I work from home, so that’s two hours at my desk, then I move on with the rest of my day. I only put in for time I spend working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds very lazy to quit working to stay at home once your children don't require childcare during the day because they're in school. Is that your actual plan? I don't know anyone who does/did that.

Serious question, how do you handle sick days and snow days? I also work part-time like the pp. Just this morning my dd woke up with pinkeye. We have no family in the area, and dh’s job is fairly inflexible. I don’t know how we’d manage if I also had an inflexible position.

NP. I would have a job with this level of inflexibility and would hope my partner didn't either. Does your husband not have sick days? We generally trade off taking sick days. Snow days I'm supposed to work from home, so basically I'm not as productive because there's a toddler who needs attention. I have been honest with my boss that this is what happens. She is fine with it since this happens like 4 time a year and I am very productive al the other days of the year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I SAH full-time when my son was 0-2. I went back to work very part-time when he turned 2 (10 hours per week) and now work the same now (he is 5 and in Kindergarten). So I consider myself somewhat of a SAHM. I plan to continue working 10 hours per week throughout elementary school at least. I love my schedule. It's the perfect mix of work an leisure. Here's why I only work 10 hours per week:

-DH is in a very inflexible, non-family friendly job. His hours are 6 am - 6 pm and will never change. He can never do drop offs or pick ups, sick days or snow days. Since I have to do all those things it makes sense for me to have a very flexible, part-time job.

-No local family in the area to help out for sick days or snow days.

-DH can't attend any programs/events at the school unless he takes the entire day off, so he can't take the morning off to go to a school event, for example. Since we have no family in the area I feel like I need to be at every single school program/event so my son has someone there.

-DH works 70 hour weeks. I take care of all the grocery shopping, meal prep, cleaning and repairs.

-Since I don't work every day, I still have free time to get appointments done, shop, work out, hobbies, etc. It's great.

working mom here.

10 hours is nothing. why even bother? I think our interns even do more than 10 hours a week.

PP here. Why bother? Because I get to be a professional in the field I love but work reasonable hours, make good money (I get paid a lot per hour), and be there for everything my child needs (sick days, snow days, all school activities, volunteer at the school). It's enough hours that I stay intellectually engaged but not enough hours that I feel burned out. It's perfect and I love my schedule.

I guess I'm just wondering what you can even accomplish in 10 hours.

Are you per diem?

One ten hour day a week would make sense.

But splitting it up over 3 or 5 days is crazy. What could you even get done in that time?!

NP here. Theres a lot of piecemeal work you could do like that. I review upcoming changes to my company’s software to see if it warrants a change to our documentation. If the change is small, I make the modification myself. If it’s a significant change, someone else handles it. I spend a couple hours a day doing that. Works for the company, works for me. Different people have different jobs, different companies have different needs.

2 hours a day?

Yes. Is that somehow hard to comprehend?

I mean yeah. In my experience, I don't actually accomplish much in 2 hours. It takes 30 minutes to settle in once I get to work. Gotta get my coffee, check my email, check my planner, reschedule conflicts or priorities, colleagues inevitably come by to chat. And that's not even including the issue of morning meetings!

Well, I work from home, so that’s two hours at my desk, then I move on with the rest of my day. I only put in for time I spend working.

I actually used to do a 8 to 10 hour a week WFH job and that was how I worked. I'd go downstairs, focus, do what needed to be done, and move on after about 2-3 hours. I made good money doing that--depending on what type of work I was doing, I billed at an average of about 100 bucks an hour.

[Anonymous]

The thing is, I think it's pretty rare for people to LOVE their jobs so much that they wouldn't quit if they suddenly came into a lot of money. Such as winning the lotto or DH getting a seven figure gig.

I'm sure there are people out there who genuinely love their work but I think it's pretty rare on average.