14 year old dating 20 year old

[Anonymous]

Just make sure you have an alarm system and a dog, because she'll be sneaking him into the house (which we all know can have unfortunate consequences).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you daca

OP here. He is not an immigrant, neither are his parents I'm assuming.

Then why is he 20 and still in high school?

[Anonymous]

I would also agree with physical separation, OP. Private school, boarding school, send her to Grandma's in the midwest.

[Anonymous]

The redshirted kids I know were 18 their entire senior year and turned 19 the summer after graduation. So if he had an earlier birthday, he'd turn 19 during his senior year. How is 20 possible?

[Anonymous]

What are you guys not understanding? He started school a year late, then he was held back another year due to medical issues. Regular 18 year old senior plus 2 years of being held back equals 20. Geez. Some of you should go back to school too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The redshirted kids I know were 18 their entire senior year and turned 19 the summer after graduation. So if he had an earlier birthday, he'd turn 19 during his senior year. How is 20 possible?

The OP said he was held back two years.

Let's pretend child's birthday is Jan 1. His parents redshirt him. Instead starting K at 5, he starts at 6.
K turns 7 on Jan 1
1 turns 8
2 turns 9
3 turns 10
4 turns 11
5 in a bad car accident and misses a bunch of school so repeats the year. Turns 12 and then 13
6 turns 14
7 turns 15
8 turns 16
9 turns 17
10 turns 18
11 turns 19
12 turns 20

[Anonymous]

Ugh. How do you make her see that any 20 year old man entertaining a 14 year old is not a man worth dating?

[Anonymous]

Make sure your daughter is on birth control.

[Anonymous]

I would reach out to his parents and let them know you have copies of the text messages he had sent to your daughter and you will be turning them over to the police if he ever speaks with her again. And then I would follow through.

[Anonymous]

I call troll. Some teenager is probably bored on winter break or a snow day and is writing this post to get reactions.

[Anonymous]

He is likely very similar to other 18 year old seniors. He has the same life experiences and is at the same stage. I don't think being 20 is all that significant.

He is 3 years ahead of her. Freshman / senior dating is not unheard of. Nor is it illegal. I have no idea if they are sexually active or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would reach out to his parents and let them know you have copies of the text messages he had sent to your daughter and you will be turning them over to the police if he ever speaks with her again. And then I would follow through.

This. You need to approach this two fold. First you need to let your daughter know that dating him is unacceptable. And you need to enforce it with your daughter. If you catch her talking, texting, seeing him, she is grounded. Second, you need to let his parents know you mean business. That you will be turning over any evidence of sexual activity to the police. Both sets of parents need to explain the consequences of turning evidence over to the police to their children. You need to let your daughter know what will happen to her boyfriend when you turn evidence over,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or threaten him and tell him you’ll report him to the police and have him arrested for statutory rape. You may be able to convince him that it’s illegal even without sex.

Isn't it illegal to file a false report with the police so that a person can be arrested on a crime that has not happened yet? You will get in trouble with the police for sure. You've been watching the movie "minority report" too many times.

Even an idiot can read on the Internet about state/local jurisdiction about what legal/illegal so you are wasting time with " convince him that it’s illegal even without sex".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I call troll. Some teenager is probably bored on winter break or a snow day and is writing this post to get reactions.

Ding ding ding!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If he were held back one year (starting 12th grade as an 18 year old) and had an early birthday, the oldest he could be is 19.

The mom already explained this. He started late and was held back a year. If his birthday occurred early in the school year, that makes him 20, not 19. Given that he started late and has medical problems, I'm sure he qualifies to stay in school late.

It is illegal for a 20 year old man to date a 14 year old child. The school is e cabling statutory rape.

Dating/being friends with someone older is not statutory rape.

OP, I don't know what you do except keep them apart after school hours. Once he graduates, given that you have communication with his family, I would be sure that you talk to them about your concerns, particularly if you believe they will have the opportunity to develop a physical relationship. I know as a mom of boys, I worried when they hit age 18 if they are dating a younger girl.

He is 3 years behind. Not two if he started his freshman year as a 16 year old.