Anonymous wrote:My mom never worked outside of the home while Dad worked 2 or 3 jobs at a time , for 42 years. Mom had a child then married Dad, and they had 3 children together. Dad explained his & mom's wills would fairly divide their estate equally among the 4 children. Each of us would get 25% , except the 2 girls would get Mom's jewelry collection (gold and diamond jewelry was given for every b-day, anniversary for 42 years, including 2 engagement rings of substantial size). My Father's only son would get all of his jewelry , about 4 pieces. The executor would be the oldest of the 3 children, my father's biological son. When my father died, his estate was over $1 million, not including the house, about 15 years ago. 5 years later, Mom died months after having carotid artery. After the funeral, I received a letter that Mom's will was changed . I would inherit 10% of the estate and if I died before the will was executed, my "branch" would get nothing,it would be returned to the estate. (Meanwhile if Step Bro died before the execution of the will, his portion would go to his wife and kids.) My mother's estate TOTAL was less than $300k INCLUDING the house! Oh and the stepson claimed there was no jewelry, and somehow HE was the executor with his 21 year old son named back-up executor. Step-bro mailed me an anonymous box with an old pic frame, and 4 pieces of broken , fake jewelry. When I questioned my "inheritance", he claimed he did not know "anything". The lawyer who set up this BS went to the same law school as my step-bros son. Other siblings were not so upset and thought I was the "favorite" and had gotten money to buy my two homes , which I did NOT. (Never got anything except that my parents paid for dinners at a sit down wedding that I did not want ) End of story- I do not talk to any of these "siblings". Am I sorry- Nope, should have cut them off years ago when they kept doing shitty things, that I wrote off as, "maybe he/she didn't know" or "didn't mean it", or "let it go because they are family". So YES, sometimes "family" is not family and you NEED to face reality and cut them off. My regret is that I ever defended these scum to my spouse.
Something like this happened in my family. I too spent decades making excuses for behavior that would have been considered "inexcusable" in a non-family member. But when the sibling who was executor of the trust presented a diminished value of parents' estate, and had surviving parent (with advanced dementia) sign off on cherished heirlooms, leaving them to executor and to her favorite brother, while I got a set of broken dishes  , I realized, once and for all, that I was dealing with a snake in the grass. Even if she hates me and it's obvious that she does, the fact that she took advantage of our parent with advanced dementia, shows she has no sense of honor. If a stranger hates me and is trying to harm me, I keep my distance. Now that the glue holding the family together, our parents, are gone, I am free to move on and leave behind the things that shackled my life like a millstone around my neck. These siblings were the millstones in my life. I have removed them, and it has been a liberating thing.
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