Big Law: Does anyone turn down a partnership opportunity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have an opportunity to be Partner at a part-time level? Go for it! You worked so hard and are so good at your job (apparently)- you owe it to yourself and your potential to try to make it work.
It will get easier once your preschooler is in elementary.

BUT- you need to focus now on hiring all the extra domestic help to make this happen.
Get the daily housecleaner who cooks, cleans and runs errands.
Get the full-time nanny/tutor for your kids.
Get your secretary at work to start planning your vacations and other personal events.
(every single male exec I have ever worked with has their secretary function as their full personal assistant)

Rather than give up your very large salary- use it to hire 3 people, and you'll still have $ left over.

YOU CAN DO IT!

- signed C suite mom of 4

[Anonymous]

The work load probably won't get much worse as a jr. partner than as a senior council, especially as it sounds like your practice area has plenty of business so you won't have to spend all of your time drumming up work.

It sounds as if your actual question is whether you should get a new job or keep doing what you are doing now. If you decide to keep doing what you are already doing, you should go for partner.

[Anonymous]

I am with C suite mom. Staff up, dont give up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you say they are putting you up at the end of the year. Can you wait it out until after you make partner? I say that for two reasons: First, the "partner" title will be extremely helpful in finding a new job. If you have been at the firm for 12 years and aren't a partner, people will assume that you are leaving because you couldn't make partner. I know that lots of great lawyers don't make partner for reasons that have nothing to do with them, but even so, you will have more options if you wait. Having made partner will also help you down the road if you decide you want to ramp back up after your kids are older. A secondary reason to wait is to see if you are happier in the partner role. You probably have a good sense already whether it would be different enough from your current role to make things feel more bearable, so I wouldn't wait it out for this reason alone, but you never know.

I don't think it is good idea to allow yourself to be put up for partner if you don't plan to make a go of it. It would be a slap in the face of your sponsoring partners, since they will be going to bat for you to get you voted in. If you immediately turn around and leave, it's an embarrassment for the firm but especially the partners to whom you're closest and may be in a position to help your outside career down the line.

I should have been more clear. I didn't mean make partner and then immediately run out of the door. You would need to try to stick it out for awhile after making partner, but that really isn't that much time compared to the 12 years you've already put in. Disentangling the financial aspects of of your equity contribution may be a pain, but PLEASE, OP, do not shortchange yourself because you are worried that someone might be mad at you if you leave after making partner or you might be denying someone else a chance at making partner. As much as you like your colleagues (and I'm sure they're nice people), no Big Law firm makes anybody a partner for any reason other than that they think it will be profitable for the firm. And if the economics ever stop working in the firm's favor, they won't worry about your feelings.

I am with C suite mom in that, if I were you, I would really try to make it work as partner before giving it up. I understand the burn out, I really do. But once you opt out of law firm partnership, unless you move to one of a small handful of prestigious government positions, you've given up your chance to opt back in. I would make really sure that you don't want the partnership before giving it up.

[Anonymous]

C suite mom gives good advice, although I stepped off partner track and really work part time. I personally love it. There is a part of me that feels a twinge of jealousy when I see other people being promoted but I figure I can still do that later if I want.

[Anonymous]

Go for partner, and then immediately switch to part time track. I don't encourage anyone to quit their jobs, and my DH and I are both high earners (and I'm a biglaw partner), but at the same time, I don't envy anyone who are both "long hour duel earners". My DH and I are both on a 35 hour a week kind of track and it's totally manageable. I think it's unrealistic for you to think that your DH is going to be a busy doctor and you're going to be a punished biglaw lawyer. So start planning for the next stage now. If PT is a possibility, then try it. But set limits. Best case, it works out awesome and you don't have to quit. Worst case, it doesn't work out and you're working a reasonable schedule and decide to quit. Don't go PT and work crazy hours out of guilt, because there is literally no upside if you're ultimately going to quit.

I would definitely stay for partner and wait one full year before quitting (if you need to quit). Partner title is much better for hiring and doesn't convey that you got pushed out. Don't worry about the buy in. You'll probably be making nonequity in any event.

Pay down your loans.

How are you going to pay for multiple kids to go to private school on only your DH's salary if you quit? You might need to adjust your expectations. One mid-range doctor salary in DC is not going to buy you a life of luxury. You can't compare yourself to other one-salary families in DC, who may have had family money, help with school, and certainly not $450k in loans at age 33. That $450k is not just $450k of payments, but $450k plus interest plus opportunity cost of that $450k that your peers are dropping into interest bearing accounts. By the time you pay it off, your peers will probably have another $1m in the bank on top of you (from putting aside $450k over all those years that you were paying loans). You say you are tight with money, but I don't think sending kids to private school with that kind of debt qualifies as tight with money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
To respond to PP re debt and living off salary: DH and I had student loans from law school (me) + masters (DH) + medical school (DH), so we ended with almost $450K in total student loan debt and DH didn't start working until he was 33. So our student loans a little more significant to pay off than most. We will be done paying in 2 years after aggressive 10 year pay down strategy. DH is a doctor in a well paid field but not ridiculously well paid. Less than the big law partner salaries so often discussed in this forum. We can live in DH's salary alone, but reducing my income (or having no income) would definitely require life style changes. Not immediate changes - we live well below our means (house value is 75% of our annual earnings; pay cash for cars, etc). But we like living below our means and eliminating my salary would bring our life style closer in line with our means. We would have to reduce our savings schedule and think more about budgeting whereas now we don't really worry about money. So, we are fortunate that DH makes enough for me to have flexibility, we have grown to appreciate the cushion my job provides. I think paying our own way through school and starting with nothing - we had less that $2,000 in a savings account when we got married, while most of our friends and classmates were quite wealthy - greatly affected our spending and saving habits. I know DH would be stressed about money if we lost my salary, even though by all objective measures we are well off, conservative with money, and have lots of savings.

Related point: I've also thought about waiting until I make partner before making the decision to stay or go (assuming I do actually make partner - nothing is guaranteed in this world), but I have two concerns with that approach. First, isn't there substantial financial impact with the buy-in requirements? That would be difficult to unwind quickly. Second, I would feel some guilt about potentially taking someone else's place in the partnership. Surely the rest of the partner candidates would actually want to have the opportunity. And last, I'm concerned about the emotional pull/golden handcuffs. It's easier to walk away at a senior associate salary level than a higher level. As I said, DH and I live pretty modestly, but we send our kids to private school, save aggressively for retirement and really like the feeling of being overly secure. I'm just worried it will be harder to walk away if I've already had the salary bump.

If you really think you'll make partner if you're put up, then go for it, and mentally prepare yourself to work hard for another 2-3 years. That will be enough to recover from the buy-in, and it's up to you to keep your spending low enough that the partner income means earlier retirement rather than golden handcuffs. After a couple of years as part time partner, you will know beyond a doubt whether you can deal with the job or negotiate an even more part-time schedule. I honestly can't think of any reason not to go for it if you think you can get it, but you definitely want to think of it as a 2 year commitment, minimum. (Don't spit in the face of the people who put you up by making partner and quitting in 6 months.)

[Anonymous]

I don't understand OP's logic that, by switching to a higher salary, it's harder to walk away? If you're not happy with your job when you become partner and thinking quitting is on the horizon, don't increase your spending just because you get a payraise. This isn't rocket science. In fact, the salary increase should make quitting easier because you should have more money in the bank in two years for a cushion than you would have had you just been an associate that whole time or had you quit now.

In any event, I highly doubt you'll see a payraise from making partner.

[Anonymous]

Law firm partner mom here. GET THE PARTNERSHIP!! Any job hunting you do from here on out will be vastly improved by being able to say you were a partner and hurt by leaving when you were not a partner. If they want to make you a partner, let them. Do not feel guilt about taking it, even if you think now that you will not stay that long. As others have said, your colleagues (and all men) would not feel that guilt and you should not let that affect your decision at all. Also agree with others that if there is anything you can do in terms of staffing to make time for work plus kids, do it to the max for these tough years. You should use your $$ so that you never miss time with your kids doing laundry or grocery shopping or whatever chores you don't want to do. If you still want to leave later, do it but from a position of strength not weakness. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

If your hours now are too much (1700-1900 billable does not sound at all part time to me!) could you tell them you want to step back your hours now to 1500-1600 or so? Then if they say they need to postpone your partnership review for a year or so you can agree to that.

[Anonymous]

With your hours, would it be for a non-equity partnership? If yes, go for it. It will give you more flexibility later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Law firm partner mom here. GET THE PARTNERSHIP!! Any job hunting you do from here on out will be vastly improved by being able to say you were a partner and hurt by leaving when you were not a partner. If they want to make you a partner, let them. Do not feel guilt about taking it, even if you think now that you will not stay that long. As others have said, your colleagues (and all men) would not feel that guilt and you should not let that affect your decision at all. Also agree with others that if there is anything you can do in terms of staffing to make time for work plus kids, do it to the max for these tough years. You should use your $$ so that you never miss time with your kids doing laundry or grocery shopping or whatever chores you don't want to do. If you still want to leave later, do it but from a position of strength not weakness. Good luck.

I completely agree. The title means a ton for future prospects. You will always be able to present yourself as a former partner at ____. Sounds like yours would be an equity partnership, but even this really doesn't matter. Many people don't really know the difference and all they will hear is "partner." I know a number people at Kirkland, where boatloads of people make "partner" after 6-years (even though very few of those will make equity and most will be forced out in 3-5 years), who have been able to leverage the title into very good opportunities that would have been more difficult if they were still an associate or counsel.

[Anonymous]

Can you hire some help for the home life? Do you have a nanny, a weekly cleaning lady? It would be totally worth it, especially if you may think you'll really enjoy the partner track once the kids are older.

The fact that they are willing to be so flexible and give you part-time partner position really says a lot about how much they value you. Going somewhere else will mean proving yourself all over again - you won't have the same level of autonomy as you do now (and especially not after you make partner). You'll need to earn the trust of a new management team. That may be even harder than the job you're doing now.

[Anonymous]

I walked away from my partnership with a large law firm for a position with the Federal Government. Do not regret it.

[Anonymous]

Former big law lawyer. Sadly, I dont know any female partners with kids who love their job, if you do, then stick it out. if not, move on to government or in house, where you can actually get some time with your kids.

Do not put yourself up if you arent staying at least three to five years, it will burn bridges.