What age is it OK to not invite both twins to a party?

[Anonymous]

Mom of twins- we went through this last year when they were in K. Twin who didn't get invited had a special outing with dad. He was sad at first but got over it. A year later he'd be hard pressed to say what party he didn't get invited to. So my thought is no need to invite both. The only recommendation is that you make it explicit on invite that it is just for the one girl (e.g. If using evite modify name to say the one girl's name). That way the parents don't need to email to ask you if both are invited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You always invite both.

Why? Are twins some sort of package deal, as opposed to just general siblings?

Yes two eight year old twin girls is different than an eight year old and her six year old sister.

[Anonymous]

Oh wait now people are obligated to invite twins as a pair? Just don't invite either. Avoid playing with twins, this is ridiculous. You always hear about twins wanting to be individuals. I guess only when it suits them (or their mom since someone said it will make their mom have to deal with hurt feelings. Welcome to parenthood!). News flash, you won't get invited to every party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have twins - depends on the situation. If you have a history of interacting with both and they are both same gender - I would do both. Otherwise you are likely to cause hard feelings (think about being the invited girl). But if you have a history of a much deeper relationship with one and not much with the other, and it's obvious to all parties involved - then one is fine.

my son 8, third grade, has been friends with twin boys since K. This past year he has become much closer to one. I would not say he does not like the other one but does not consider him a "best friend" anymore mostly because he is very competitive. We are friendly with the parents so I am inclined invite both or neither to events. My son feels it is not fair that he has to socialize with someone he does not really like. It is very uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh wait now people are obligated to invite twins as a pair? Just don't invite either. Avoid playing with twins, this is ridiculous. You always hear about twins wanting to be individuals. I guess only when it suits them (or their mom since someone said it will make their mom have to deal with hurt feelings. Welcome to parenthood!). News flash, you won't get invited to every party.

+1

I loathe my kids being friends with multiples for this reason

[Anonymous]

I have twins. You invite them both as long as your child interacts/plays/socializes with both. If the twins are in different classes, you can invite the one your child shares class with, but not the other. If they are in aftercare together, but your child plays with one twin and not the other, it's okay to invite one without the other. However, it's a little hard if your child interacts regularly with both twins and seems to be friendly with both. However, if your child is only friends with one twin, believe me, the kids know. The twin that doesn't socialize with your child doesn't need to be invited and the kids would know that that twin got the "polite invitation".

[Anonymous]

It's ridiculous to invite both twins to everything, esp at that age. Twins are siblings and should be treated as such.

[Anonymous]

If they are in the same class, invite both if same sex. If opposite sex and you are having single sex party, then only invite the one.

By ten, only invite both if they are in the same friend group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I disagree with everyone. I'd say as soon as you hit kindergarten you should invite only your own friends. Twins are individual people.

OP, I think 8 is PLENTY old enough to just invite the one twin she's friends with.

+1 agree.

I know twins and they both are in different classrooms and get invited to different parties, it's par for the course.
Your DD should invite who she wants.

[Anonymous]

Dear Lord, why are we so afraid these days for our kids to be *gasp* disappointed in any way. Mum of twins here, they are now 8. I never assume both are invited to anything and we have always dealt fine with separate invites to parties etc.

[Anonymous]

Totally fine not to invite both but I think it's probably more polite to invite both at this age. Until 4th, I'm pretty sure I never saw the girl twins in our grade at a party without the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's ridiculous to invite both twins to everything, esp at that age. Twins are siblings and should be treated as such.

+1 Another twin family here. Twins, triplets, etc are siblings who just happen to be very close in age. I think it's a much bigger deal for other people than it is for us. I wouldn't assume any sibling should be invited to a party just because one child received an invitation (which was another thread a few days ago), no exception just because they happen to be in the same grade.

And actually, if both twins received an invitation I'd feel obligated to buy two gifts, which I don't mind doing if they're honestly both friends with the birthday boy, but I'd rather not have the expense for a "polite invite".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg it's one kid! Why are people so cheap about birthday parties!

It's not the cheapness. Did you read the post? The birthday girl is not friends with one of the twins. One of the girls in my circle of friends is a twin, we've been friends since ES. I don't particularly get along with her sister, we aren't friends. She has always had her own friends.

[Anonymous]

Mom to twin DDs here. It's totally fine to invite just one. Your kid's bday...your kid should invite only her friends. My girls are now in 4th and one feels a little weird if she knows she's only invited to a party b/c her sister is friends with the bday girl.

[Anonymous]

I can't even get one twin to come over for a play date. I always invite both. Thing is there are so many twins these days.

DS is in k and friends with a twin. I want to invite 1 twin over for a play date but pretty sure both the twin AND older brother will come. Older brother is in my older child's class.