what would you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
All of you are asking me to send DD to the party.

This woman has not left any school events to constantly insult me or hurt me.
I avoided them totally.
I don't keep in touch with couple of good acquaintances because they chose to make fun of me along with her or talk behind me.
That is the kind of influence she has.

One day at a school event she said that my DD was mean to her DD.
Then I asked if we can call the kids and talk about it. she said not needed.
But I went ahead and called my DD and asked if she was mean to the other girl.
I asked this right in front of kids, mom and other moms who were present there.
My daughter said no and her daughter said no. This woman mumbled something after that.
So this woman was just lying about it probably thought I will not speak up this time as well.

I know for sure that she spread some bad rumors about me and my DD.

Things seems to have improved between the kids. But I don't trust the other woman. I really don't think she means well.

NO, we're TELLING you she should go because YOU ASKED.
Stop be dramatic and looking for a reason to stoke the drama. You're a grown woman, and grown women don't engage in petty, middle school games. Let this woman say whatever she wants. You don't need to give a shit. You live your life, do well by others and let your actions speak for who you are as a person with character.

[Anonymous]

I know there might be some horrible mean girls who would invite a girl just to be mean to her. if you think this might end badly for your DD, warn her and make sure she has a phone to call you. Does she have other friends going? Could one of those parents drop off your DD so they're together and you don't have to see the mom?

[Anonymous]

OP something similar happened in my life when I was about the same age as your daughter. It was devastating to me as a child that my parents (my mother really) couldn't get past the issues (mind you she was within her right to be as upset as she was) to allow me to continue my friendship. It was heartbreaking to lose my friend. If you can find a way to allow your daughter to find her own way through this I am sure she would appreciate it. It's not her battle and she's not choosing sides, it also does not diminish your position it shows that you are above it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would accept. Your issue with mom has nothing to do with kid's friendship.

+1 time to grow up and move on. Say it with me... This is not about me. This is not about me.

[Anonymous]

Your child's social life is separate from yours. You may as well learn this lesson now - cause it's the reality now that your child is older. If not this situation, it will be another situation. You and your daughter may not like the same people. She can't fight your battles. And you can't fight hers. Your child may not be thinking very deeply at all about this - maybe it worth going since she likes other kids at the party. Your child may be testing her relationship with the birthday child and it might not stick. Regardless, this is out of your control now - at this age.