A friend/neighbor treated my teenage daughter like a slave when she babysat for them

[Anonymous]

Bitches seem to be a dime a dozen around here.

[Anonymous]

Putting clothes in the washing machine and dryer is fine.
Cleaning out the fridge is not. But I'd like to hear what exactly was explained to your daughter. Was it "I'd like you to throw out the old guacamole?"

And using the slave metaphor is way over the line. Get some perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is 15 and a very nice, responsible girl. She has two younger brothers and has taken babysitting courses along with CPR. DD sat for our neighbor on Saturday and our neighbor had her cleaning out her refrigerator and doing all of the family's laundry once the kids went to bed. The neighbors also came home 1 hour later than they promised. All for $12 an hour.

Obviously, that is the one and only time DD will ever sit for them but I was also wondering if I should say something to this neighbor (a woman I once considered a friend).

OP, teenagers can be very dramatic.

[Anonymous]

OP Not crazy about the slave word, but that was a problem with the neighbor. She wanted to "get her moneys worth" when the kids were asleep by assigning more duties/ or less pay per hour. No. Just no. but that is not something that you can explain once the person has that idea.

[Anonymous]

Agreed- its not slavery but they expected more than simple babysitting. In our experience, babysitting is watching the kid, often cooking a meal (i.e. a pizza), playing a game/reading, and getting the kid in bed. Our daughter typically doesn't even have the expectation of doing the dishes, just some general cleaning up. Once the kid's in bed, she'll read until they come home.

But $12 an hour is pretty good money. I would politely decline to babysit for that couple going forward and use it as a lesson learned.

[Anonymous]

I agree, OP, that this seems like a lot for a teen who wasn't told ahead of time.

However, I am a little weirded out by how upset you are.

Hard work never hurt anyone. And you sound well on your way to raising an entitled brat if doing some laundry makes you think of slavery.

At 15, I was working in the summers and sometimes after school at a local bakery, babysitting, playing on sports teams etc. I did what my bosses/coaches asked of me, even when it was hard and or yucky. I am grateful for those experiences and for parents who would have seriously laughed in my face if I complained a boss or coach had me working hard.

BTW-- minimum wage in the 80s was $3.34!!! So for $12 she did a little cleaning and laundry? Welcome to the real world. Although I agree bait and switch is not cool. She could just tell the parents that she doesn't clean. Then they will have the choice of whether they want to hire a girl who sits and texts for $12 an hour or someone who will actually do something helpful around the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lesson learned. Maybe you can help your daughter come up with some documents she gives new families:

- What you can expect from me while babysitting & prices/how to schedule
- Emergency contact & health information form for parents to fill out
- Extra services offered with prices (if she wants to do that stuff for extra money - she could make a killing!)

I would be super impressed by a teenage babysitter who had those three documents for me and would likely go ahead and book some of her extra services happily.

This.

[Anonymous]

When I read these posts, I just think about my grandmothers -- one who came over from Ireland at age 12 and worked in a cigarette factory and the other who came from Germany as a tween as an orphan and was essentially an indentured servant working in a household to earn her keep.

We are raising a seriously spoiled, out-of-touch generation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Not crazy about the slave word, but that was a problem with the neighbor. She wanted to "get her moneys worth" when the kids were asleep by assigning more duties/ or less pay per hour. No. Just no. but that is not something that you can explain once the person has that idea.

The F?

She *is* getting her money's worth.

There's a person over there making sure her children are ok and ready to interveene in case of an emergency.

What a rhymes-with-witch your neighbour is. I'd suggest to my daughter not to babysit for that family again.

[Anonymous]

I think your slavery analogy is inappropriate. But I would have your daughter tell her that cleaning (other than cleaning up after the kids) is not part of the services that she offers as a babysitter if she intends to work for the woman again. If she doesn't intend to, just don't accept any more jobs from her. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is 15 and a very nice, responsible girl. She has two younger brothers and has taken babysitting courses along with CPR. DD sat for our neighbor on Saturday and our neighbor had her cleaning out her refrigerator and doing all of the family's laundry once the kids went to bed. The neighbors also came home 1 hour later than they promised. All for $12 an hour.

Obviously, that is the one and only time DD will ever sit for them but I was also wondering if I should say something to this neighbor (a woman I once considered a friend).

OP, teenagers can be very dramatic.

Apparently so can adults. "like a slave?" Really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is 15 and a very nice, responsible girl. She has two younger brothers and has taken babysitting courses along with CPR. DD sat for our neighbor on Saturday and our neighbor had her cleaning out her refrigerator and doing all of the family's laundry once the kids went to bed. The neighbors also came home 1 hour later than they promised. All for $12 an hour.

Obviously, that is the one and only time DD will ever sit for them but I was also wondering if I should say something to this neighbor (a woman I once considered a friend).

Drama Queens: like mother like daughter.

[Anonymous]

This will make it so easy for your DD to say she's not available next time crazy lady asks her to babysit. I'm sorry you lost a real friend (now you'll be reduced to fake friends or friends of convenience and that's probably fine).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree, OP, that this seems like a lot for a teen who wasn't told ahead of time.

However, I am a little weirded out by how upset you are.

Hard work never hurt anyone. And you sound well on your way to raising an entitled brat if doing some laundry makes you think of slavery.

At 15, I was working in the summers and sometimes after school at a local bakery, babysitting, playing on sports teams etc. I did what my bosses/coaches asked of me, even when it was hard and or yucky. I am grateful for those experiences and for parents who would have seriously laughed in my face if I complained a boss or coach had me working hard.

BTW-- minimum wage in the 80s was $3.34!!! So for $12 she did a little cleaning and laundry? Welcome to the real world. Although I agree bait and switch is not cool. She could just tell the parents that she doesn't clean. Then they will have the choice of whether they want to hire a girl who sits and texts for $12 an hour or someone who will actually do something helpful around the house.

Not OP.

Good for you for doing all that and probably walking to school uphill both ways as well.

Not being taken advantage of is a lesson that should be learned early in life, because being taken advantage of *does* hurt people who are subjected to that.

You sanctimonious, disagreeable person.

[Anonymous]

This just happened to my son, who was pet sitting and watering gardens. Only paid 2.50 a visit, when we were there for at 40 minutes. He's a minor, so I helped, but I was stunned when she handed me the $$$. I gave him an $20, along with the $10, which was for 4 visits.

Your daughter was taken advantage of, clearly.