I read a text and wow! What to do now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my problem is I really don't want her to know I read her text but I guess she will just have to deal with that. I am the parent, this is why I read the text! Wow this is too much. I thought I had a few years.

Sorry, OP, but this is the stupidest thing I've read on DCUM in a long time. Of course you want her to know you read her texts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most boys mature faster then girls when it comes to sex. Every guy I've been with said they started having sex between 11-13 I was much older then that.

They were lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most boys mature faster then girls when it comes to sex. Every guy I've been with said they started having sex between 11-13 I was much older then that.

They were lying.[/quote]

+1

[Anonymous]

I think many young teens just talk a big game.

(but I'd probably freak out too)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most boys mature faster then girls when it comes to sex. Every guy I've been with said they started having sex between 11-13 I was much older then that.

This is complete utter B.S. and sexist at that. OP, ignore this troll.

[Anonymous]

OP, feel free to contact the boy's parents because they should know that he's texting this and that it's vastly inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Damn, I'd respond: "This is Larla's mom. Stop sending sexually suggestive texts to her. I've copied this and will be sharing this with your parents as I'm guessing they're not okay with their son messaging girls with inappropriate comments."

I don't play.

--Mom of a 14 year old boy. And yes, I would want another parent to share this with me if my son texted a message like this. And I have checked my son's texts and would share sexually inappropriate messages with other parents.

+1! (mom of a tween DS)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Damn, I'd respond: "This is Larla's mom. Stop sending sexually suggestive texts to her. I've copied this and will be sharing this with your parents as I'm guessing they're not okay with their son messaging girls with inappropriate comments."

I don't play.

--Mom of a 14 year old boy. And yes, I would want another parent to share this with me if my son texted a message like this. And I have checked my son's texts and would share sexually inappropriate messages with other parents.

+1! (mom of a tween DS)

Your daughter will likely really resent this act because it may lead to teasing, etc, from other kids. But some version of this is probably the right thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Tell her you read her texts, and you're proud of how she handled it. Tell her you'd like to let the boy's mom know about what he did, but if she's not okay with it, let it rest. It's a text, not a full-on safety issue, so let your daughter have a say in how you proceed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her you read her texts, and you're proud of how she handled it. Tell her you'd like to let the boy's mom know about what he did, but if she's not okay with it, let it rest. It's a text, not a full-on safety issue, so let your daughter have a say in how you proceed.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her you read her texts, and you're proud of how she handled it. Tell her you'd like to let the boy's mom know about what he did, but if she's not okay with it, let it rest. It's a text, not a full-on safety issue, so let your daughter have a say in how you proceed.

+1

I'm with these two. I would also point out to her that he could get in serious, serious trouble for explicit texts if someone were to report it so you would like to tell his parents so they can talk with him before he does anything more stupid. Maybe she will be more amenable if she thinks of it as keeping him out of bigger trouble.

No matter what, pat her on the back for acknowledging the inappropriateness and not engaging further. It is good for her to know she's in control and can shut these things down.

[Anonymous]

I would just let this one be. Believe me, I know how hard that is. But here is why: first, your daughter handled it well. Second, the type of text she received, while inappropriate, was not dangerous. Finally, kids know how to delete texts. As your daughter gets older, there will be things you need to know happening via text. It's much better to be a stealth checker, only coming out for true urgencies, than driving your kid right away into secret text land.

Parents who say your kids know you check their phones: I'd bet a significant percentage are using kik, snapchat, Facebook messenger, and other non-text ways of messaging so you don't see. Or they are just deleting their texts. All that just makes them harder to monitor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just let this one be. Believe me, I know how hard that is. But here is why: first, your daughter handled it well. Second, the type of text she received, while inappropriate, was not dangerous. Finally, kids know how to delete texts. As your daughter gets older, there will be things you need to know happening via text. It's much better to be a stealth checker, only coming out for true urgencies, than driving your kid right away into secret text land.

Parents who say your kids know you check their phones: I'd bet a significant percentage are using kik, snapchat, Facebook messenger, and other non-text ways of messaging so you don't see. Or they are just deleting their texts. All that just makes them harder to monitor.

+1 you sound like someone who actually has older kids. This is spot on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom of teens here. I would definitely talk to my daughter first. You are blaming the boys for the comments, but your daughter may not be innocent here. You want to find out from her what is the nature of their relationship and whether she's made any comments to them that would have led to someone saying this.

Second, I would be talking to my daughter about internet safety - primarily that once you say something online, it's there forever. In this case, it's not what she said, but it's just a good opening. Having read texts for years, I can say that you cannot remind your kids often enough that there are no takebacks with texts and whatever you post online.

As to talking with other parents, I am not sure whether I'd do it. I can think of ways this could come back to cause your daughter problems. For example, the boy goes to school and say that your daughter is slut talking (and right now you don't know whether it's true and even if it isn't, it doesn't sound like it would matter) and then your daughter could end up with a reputation that she doesn't deserve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter handled it well and it sounds like you don't have anything to worry about. I would leave it alone.

This. Really shocked at how little trust PPs have in their kids. Must not have very strong relationships if they feel the need to read all texts.