Do young people still "come out"?

[Anonymous]

It could be your nephew isn't completely sure - gay, bi, pansexual (look it up if that one is new to you). It could also have nothing to so with sexual orientation. Why are you pretty sure he is gay? Perhaps it is a gender identification journey he does not want to share. Show you acceptance of other people so he knows you are safe without asking, and that is all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It could be your nephew isn't completely sure - gay, bi, pansexual (look it up if that one is new to you). It could also have nothing to so with sexual orientation. Why are you pretty sure he is gay? Perhaps it is a gender identification journey he does not want to share. Show you acceptance of other people so he knows you are safe without asking, and that is all.

The worst thing you can do is make assumptions. My father was positive to the bone that my son was gay, and while he was, as it turns out, the constant hinting made it difficult to come out years later because he so associated beingg ay with being a "big deal."

[Anonymous]

Love and support your nephew in all he does. If he wants to discuss being gay, he will. Do not ask him about it. Unfortunately, being gay can still bring bullying, discrimination. Maybe he is still figuring out his sexual identity. Gay marriage does not erase the discrimination gay people who are gay.

And yes, plenty of kids and adults still come out.

How will discussing his sexuality help you, OP? Do you really need to know?

I am passionate about gay marriage, yet I'm not gay.

Please do not ask him. If he is gay and decides to come out, it should be on his terms and his schedule, not yours.

[Anonymous]

Gay people fac3, not gay people who are gay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will be seeing my college-age nephew later this week and am fairly certain he's gay but it's never been acknowledged or discussed among my dh's family members. We're mostly progressives, so why isn't anyone saying anything? Do kids just not feel compelled to come out any more? Can I ask him if he's got someone special in his life? I'm not trying to be nosy--I care for him very much and want him to feel comfortable.

He might feel that there's a certain level of out-ness he's not ready for yet. Like that you are in the circle of family where, if he's out to you, he's also out to Ole' Bigoted Uncle Jack, and he doesn't want to deal with that.

Could you find a way to bring up a gay rights news story or something? ("Oh, gee grandma, we're were so pleased to be able to talk to Larla about marriage rights in Your State, it's great for her to see civil rights history unfolding!"). But like in an non awkward organic way. So he knows that there are folks in his extended family who are supportive. (I don't know if I could BE non-awkward, tho. Maybe you have better social skills than I do.)

Oh, yes. Because it's so non-awkward and organic to start discussing gay marriage in front of someone we THINK may be gay, and we're just dying to really know.

Mmm. I think it helps if you are regularly discussing this stuff anyway, not just in thud kind of circumstance. In my family, it would be a fairly ordinary dinner table topic, no matter if Cousin Joe were present or not.

[Anonymous]

I think I would let it come from him, OP. Your post seems well meaning but also, yes, a little nosy. I find it cheesy to ask young people if there's "someone special" in their lives. It seems like a certain trigger for discomfort, if not eye-rolling.