When did your son start showing interest in girls?

[Anonymous]

OP again, let me make it clear that I also would not even think of middle schoolers being able to "date"! I was just referring to interest. No middle-schooler in my house will be dating!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again, let me make it clear that I also would not even think of middle schoolers being able to "date"! I was just referring to interest. No middle-schooler in my house will be dating!

"Dating" has taken on a completely new meaning from when you were in school. Today it does not mean going to the movies, going anywhere, or being alone with the girl. Name the school and dating could mean five different things.

[Anonymous]

I have two boys, 11 and 16.5.

My older son is just now starting to be interested in girls. Until very recently he's had lots of female friends but he never seemed *interested* in them in any way.

My younger son appears to have zero interest in girls. Unlike his brother, he has very few female friends.

Not sure if it matters, but DH says he was about DS1's age when he started to be interested in girls; before that, nada. Perhaps all 3 of them are/were late bloomers.

[Anonymous]

I guess times have changed or your families are all very different, but I can't imagine pre teen boys admitting to their MOMS that they are interested in girls. Just bc he isn't saying doesn't mean he's not interested. Trust me most of middle school, most boys spend worrying about unwanted erections that come on from just looking at a girl. It isn't the kind of thing that my generation shared with our moms (or dads) and I'm actually not that old and come from a pretty open family.

Obviously the moms (and dads) figure it out, esp if they find opportunities to listen in on conversations -- like driving car pool or whatever, but it's not like a 12 yr old boy is going to sit down at dinner and say "so there's this new girl in my class and when I looked at her, well something happened and I'm SO glad I did not have to stand up again for the remainder of class."

[Anonymous]

Girls text my 6th grade boy constantly. When I read through them, they're definitely flirting, but my ds doesn't get it or doesn't care. They're all just friends to him. I'm in no rush.

[Anonymous]

My oldest was in 5th grade (which is when he started middle school). My youngest is 9 and every once in a while he will announce that he has a girlfriend. He even said one girl asked him to marry her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Age/grade?

Should a boy still be apathetic in 6th grade (or at least claim he is?)

It is completely age-appropriate for a 6th-grade boy not to want to talk to his mom about his love life or lack thereof.

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of y'all are in denial about your kids having romantic interests. I had my first crush in 2nd grade (which was requited), and at least 5 boys had a crush on me by 6th grade. I'm sure my mother had no idea. I'm also sure some kids are later, but most of my friends in elem school "went out" with boys... which at the time meant they talked on the phone and the boy said "will you go out with me?" and the girl said "yes" and maybe they held hands in the hallway and exchanged christmas gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our son was not interested in 6th, vaguely interested in 7th and 8th, and full-on interested in 9th.

As PP noted, your son is fine.

+1
And while I want my children to have healthy sexual relationships, I also wouldn't be super upset if they were a little late to the game of being boy or girl crazy. One less parental thing to deal with and to be honest those were always the kids that seemed to have that "whatever, I'm just doing my own thing" coolness about them. I was NOT like that, I wanted someone to like me starting at maybe 9!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is in 8th grade. He is straight but does not feel romantically towards girls yet. They're all just friends.

Please do not rush your son. He's fine.

Um, even if he's gay, he's still fine.

[Anonymous]

When did your son start showing interest in girls?

Long before they make if known to their mothers!!

And that's the way is should be, and has always been.

[Anonymous]

My 9 year old has been flirting since he could talk! Where his older brother runs more the Shelton/big bang type - could care less and currently 12.

I'm not worried about it
(actually, completely worried that the 9 year old will make me a grandmother before he leaves for college.)

[Anonymous]

Woman, here.

I think it's perfectly normal in the tween and into the teen years to be attracted to unattainable girls (actresses, models, even characters or "real people" in school as crushes) but not to actually want to have a REAL relationship or even conversation with a LIVE person.

I also never felt boy crazy. I kept all my mini crushes a secret, because god forbid someone find out and then I would either be (a) mortified or else (b) have to actually talk to them which would suck Schweddy Balls, ugh, nonononononono!

(PS: My college dating life was just fine. Took me a while to get there, that's all. )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess times have changed or your families are all very different, but I can't imagine pre teen boys admitting to their MOMS that they are interested in girls. Just bc he isn't saying doesn't mean he's not interested. Trust me most of middle school, most boys spend worrying about unwanted erections that come on from just looking at a girl. It isn't the kind of thing that my generation shared with our moms (or dads) and I'm actually not that old and come from a pretty open family.

Obviously the moms (and dads) figure it out, esp if they find opportunities to listen in on conversations -- like driving car pool or whatever, but it's not like a 12 yr old boy is going to sit down at dinner and say "so there's this new girl in my class and when I looked at her, well something happened and I'm SO glad I did not have to stand up again for the remainder of class."

Thanks for the laugh...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When did your son start showing interest in girls?

Long before they make if known to their mothers!!

And that's the way is should be, and has always been.

Ha. It isn't rocket science to notice interest, and it isn't very subtle parenting to feign not to notice.

First sign if interest I ever saw in my kid was some adorable flirting in second grade (reciprocal). I don't even think my son knew it was "interest" but his eyes never lit up like that when we were out with the boys. He has been friends with the girl ever since.