Ferber - how many nights?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:to OP - it took us about 3 nights of hell and a bit longer of milder pain - our son was about 10 months old. I'd try putting your son down early - are you doing the increasing time b/w visits?

Yes, we have been increasing by 5 minutes each time and each night. So now we put him down and he goes 45 minutes before we check on him. I hate it, but do believe he sleeps better once he falls asleep. It's just the getting to sleep bit that is so hard!

[Anonymous]

It is really tough - but I think our 10-month old was also happier/better-rested once we got through the Ferber stuff - he was waking 3-7 times per night and just was not well-rested before that. The other thing I'd wonder w/the time - in addition to whether putting him down earlier might help - is whether there is a limit to how much the time increases should be? (Don't have the book handy and assume you've checked what Ferber has to say about the time between checks - just thinking that 45 minutes might feel like so long to a baby that they don't know the difference b/w that and no checks at all, so maybe you build up to a certain amount of time b/w checks and then stay at that plateau for a bit??)

[Anonymous]

4 nights...for him to put himself to sleep. 1st night 45 min. of crying, 2nd night 20min, 3rd 10 & 4th none! That was 1.5 months ago & my DS is now 9.5 months. He occasionally cries for a minute or 2 when he is really tired, but I think that is how some kids soothe themselves. Let me add that I was very against any kind of crying originally, but this saved my life. I am still nursing & my DS still wakes up at midnight & 4 so I haven't used ferber for those times yet, but have faith that when I'm ready it will work! Good luck!

[Anonymous]

DCUD here,
It took 6 nights for our 5.5 month old DD to sleep through the night. First night she cried non-stop from 7-3am, with only brief breaks (10 minutes here, 15 minutes there). It was tough on everyone. Second night, she cried for 20 minutes, then slept for an hour, cried five minutes, slept 2 hours, and was up and down intermittently until we got her up at five. Third and fourth nights she slept for nine hours (7-4), but had sleep associations with feeding (i.e. she went to sleep while on the bottle). It took another day and night to break these associations by putting her down while she was awake, and on the 6th night she slept from 7pm to 6am, with a dream feeding at 11pm. From the PP, I was confident that the entire process would take 3-4 days, so I was a little disappointed that my daughter was "below the norm", but I am more satisfied that it finally worked. Stay the course!

[Anonymous]

For us it took: 1 day of extended crying (~30 min), then about 10 minutes crying for 2 days, and then a consistent 2-5 minutes crying for a couple weeks. That sounds bad, but he would cry even when we used to rock him to sleep before, so it wasn't really much different. He now goes to bed with no crying and he plays in his crib until he falls asleep. He's 7 months old, STTN, and naps well - a far far cry from before. Good luck, OP!

[Anonymous]

Regarding "doing it wrong", the best thing is to read the Ferber book. There is a lot more thought put into the method than just letting a baby cry. And it should give you confidence in the method to read this.

Also, I think it's very important to have a reliable bedtime routine that includes rituals like stories. These cues help a baby start to get ready before they hit the bed. By toddle age, your child should be yawning while you read those stories, not because of the time at night but because the ritual is a cue to them.

Lastly, hang in there. With my children, they seemed to let go of the crying once they realized that this was going to be the routine and crying was not going to get them back out of the crib.

[Anonymous]

To the prior three posters - you do realize that this thread was originally started in January 2009? I really hope the OP's baby sleeps well by now.

[Anonymous]

I'm not knocking Ferber here at all as it works great or a lot of families, but we were one of the unlucky ones that it just didn't work for. We gave it six weeks and it never really worked. We did it around at around a year. Our DD cried and screamed until she threw up on many occasions. Ferber's book basically said to just ignore it and keep going but it just never worked. While DD probably can't remember, I was pretty well scarred after that experience. She's a little over 2 now and goes to sleep by herself and sleeps through most nights so even if it doesn't work for you, right now, your child will eventually sleep. So, don't beat yourself up too much if it's not working. It just doesn't work for some, and I wish I'd quit at 2 weeks instead of pushing on for week after week.

[Anonymous]

Hi...I am on night 14. Sometimes a quick 10 min and some nights a horrible 45 minutes. Should I give up? I am so confused. He is 7.5 months and if I rock him to sleep he wakes up like every hour or 2. Its crazy. He's not hungry or anything. He closes his eyes the minute I hold him. He wants me. And I love how close we are and I am with him all day, but he needs his sleep. Once he cries he does sleep for 11 hours or more. But should I quit or what? Is he going to not trust me anymore or love me less? Thanks.