Biological mom and biological Dad may have to communicate directly about all this for the sake of their daughter, and it sounds like there has been no such communication. First stop in my book is to figure out how that communication is/will/or won't work. Second stop is the question of whether there is any specific provisions about college/payment/selection, etc. in their divorce agreement. t Third stop is to talk to daughter, because one and two may impact everything else. You can reverse the order of the conversations, but with divorced families 1 & 2 can play a special role that other families don't need to deal with usually
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