Profoundly gifted kids

[Anonymous]

I don't have resources to share, but this thread has made me consider my own experiences with gifted education.

I was tagged as gifted early, and as my public elementary school wasn't equipped with the resources of curriculum to accomodate me, they sent me off site to a program called "Field Lighthouse" one day a week.

It was a disaster. It was the equivalent of being out of school on day each week, and was stressfull for me as I had to figure out how to make up the work I missed, explain to the other students where I was, etc. Basically, the school wasn't equipped to handle this program either. I dropped out of Field Lighthouse after I dropped a reading level because I couldn't complete the workbooks and reading sessions due to absence. (The reading levels were bogus anyway, as I was farther along despite not completing the work.)

My point is, I wish that my parents had known more about coordinated efforts in meeting my needs, and had been able to be better advocates. We couldn't afford private schools, so they did the best they could.

I ended up just fine, and developed a love for all academics (so much so that I remained a professional student until the age of 30, and now have a huge brain mortgage to pay off. )

Things to think about. . .

[Anonymous]

PP here. . .

my previous post is full of typos and poor grammer, perhaps negating my claims of being a former gifted child. I am pumping as I write this. . .

[Anonymous]

I'd recommend a Northern Virginia homeschool group. Lots of PG kids on it. It's an amazing support group. novatag. Access them from yahoogroups.

[Anonymous]

I think it is fair to say that "giftedness" as an academic identifier is highly subject to interpretation - and for our child, the process has been terribly flawed. Many of the posts touch upon some of the key issues we've encountered over the past year. It's all quite complicated really - especially since I don't think there are any easy solutions for better serving these kids when they are grouped so randomly and subjectively. No Child Left Behind makes legitimate gifted education nearly impossible in the elementary and middle schools. From what I have experienced, the priorities will remain completely misaligned so long as gifted classes are structured around the SOL test information. FYI - we were advised against ANY public schools for elementary school or middle school. TJ and a few other public high schools were seen as possibilities for the future. Our situation is not great, but I'm confident we'll manage. The much larger issue revolves around how TAG students are identified, how curriculum is developed, and how parents are managed when they insert themselves into the process. It seems to me that parents would not be jockeying to get into TAG if honors courses were available for bright and motivated students in middle school, and if ability-based diversification was consistently practiced in the lower grades. Thank you to those who shared their less conventional educational journeys. If the last year has taught me anything, it is that there is a secret society of over-achiever/under-achievers playing a very quiet yet important role in our society - people who arrived at high places through very unconventional means ( flukes of the world? um - not exactly). I'm proud of my journey because it is part of who I am, and I feel confident that our son will be okay in the end too - even if he doesn't go to an elite college or high school, with our support he will go to the place that best serves his talents. While I still believe that anything is possible for him, I can't help but fear that today's hyper-competitive/test based educational system will make school even harder for a population of unique, bright and highly creative kids that fall "outside of the box". I fear for them because they are largely misunderstood, and without parental advocacy, they will face challenges/stereotypes far worse than what we did. I feel the current gifted system falls terribly short here.

[Anonymous]

I found this via a link from FCAG, the Fairfax gifted advocacy group. All the entries have given me some hope about my 13 year old (who is probably on the lower end of the gifted scale) because he's starting to tank in 8th grade, and I got some reassurance from some posts that things will come out okay. I keep faith in him, waiting for his spark to reignite in a couple years, or maybe many years. Thanks to all who posted on that.

That said, I have great concern for the higher range of gifted kids. They are getting cheated in the current GT setup. FCPS has been increasingly inclusive in its GT program for a number of years so that it's become populated with highly motivated kids who, to my eye, are far from "gifted." Motivation is mistaken for intelligence, and highly+ gifted are again the outliers. They need a place away from SOLs, etc., where they can develop their special abilities. I speculate that "Honors" programs are sufficient for most current GT kids, and I hope that FCPS will return to more specialized GT centers to serve the much smaller, truly "gifted" population.

To the original poster of the question, I think homeschooling makes a wonderful choice, especially given what I've read here about homeschooling consortia, etc. I find myself less married to the idea of the public school paradigm as time goes on, especially with my younger son, who is "Twice Exceptional" --a problem in itself! We'll see where he goes...

[Anonymous]

OP here - of course, we'd prefer to have better public and private school TAG options. In our situation, flexibility (and a little creativity) is key. While homeschooling is still REALLY intimidating, it becomes a little less so knowing there are others homeschooling locally for similar reasons. A number of posts were curious about "what happened" - how was our child missed. It was all very subtle actually.

The two biggest problems were:

- a fine motor delay starting in pre-k (and while OT worked like a charm, writing problems surfaced again in 3rd grade when the paper lines became smaller and cursive was introduced/required.)

- his class participation diminished significantly when he reached 2nd grade. Kids teased him a little for being a know it all, and he withdrew. He does not like being the center of attention, which is a very common trait for TAG kids apparently. Because of these things, he was not a "stand out", however, his writing was very sophisticated and mature in content. His grades were always very good (with the exception of spelling, all As). Even his testing was off the charts, but even so, we were told to "give him another year" because he may be overwhelmed with the level of work.....so we stepped in.

[Anonymous]

I've written about my "profoundly" gifted child in the past. Put into a GT school in Kindergarten after becoming a member of MENSA at age 3. Skipped 3 grades, thought she owned the world(we thought she did too). She took the MENSA tests 3 more times and scored 10 points higher. Long story short- these kids are children for only so many years. I DEEPLY regret all of the specialized schooling, special friends and special treatment. Life was unreal for our child and I think she would have gotten so much more out of life by learning to play well with others in the sandbox and by digging up worms in our backyard. As her psychologist has said to us, "A smart child will always be smart. There is NO need to provide any child with exceptional experiences at an early age." JMHO after living through the process.

[Anonymous]

I was thinking the same exact thing about St. Anselm's. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

PP, what a thoughtful post. I was a teacher of only gifted children and the OVER enrichment and acceleration and on and on was out of control, and the burn-out rate was unbelievable, not to mention suicides. It is so hard, b/c the gerbil never gets off the wheel in some of these brains, but I thought it was my challenge to teach them to relax, turn off, TRY to be children. It was hard, it is not perfect, but anything NON competitive is good too. A lot of these kids can get perfectionistic and shut down so fast. I empathize with everyone who has a truly gifted child. It is a blessing, but can appear wrapped in a curse. But there is a way, just don't fall victim to everyone pushing, pushing, pushing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've written about my "profoundly" gifted child in the past. Put into a GT school in Kindergarten after becoming a member of MENSA at age 3. Skipped 3 grades, thought she owned the world(we thought she did too). She took the MENSA tests 3 more times and scored 10 points higher. Long story short- these kids are children for only so many years. I DEEPLY regret all of the specialized schooling, special friends and special treatment. Life was unreal for our child and I think she would have gotten so much more out of life by learning to play well with others in the sandbox and by digging up worms in our backyard. As her psychologist has said to us, "A smart child will always be smart. There is NO need to provide any child with exceptional experiences at an early age." JMHO after living through the process.

Yes, but this child is ten now and definitely sounds like he needs something different. I would try to keep him on youth sports teams but get him what he needs academically.

[Anonymous]

20:14: Thank you for putting into words a very unpopular way of looking at academically advanced children. I think precisely the same way of my child, which is why we've kept her in a regular school (albeit a private language immersion school, for the extra challenge) with regular activities. She is still reading many grade levels ahead, etc., and the teachers still struggle to keep up with her, but she is first and foremost a kid. In her spare time she plays with neighborhood kids and her family, attends to her various extracurricular interests, and reads and write voraciously.

We have never had her tested, though we've been told many times that we should (why? how would we treat her any differently if we had a number to use in describing her?), and we haven't signed her up for any of the distance learning gifted activities, though she would certainly qualify and thrive doing them. She already spends 8 hours a day in school plus homework, plus the extra "work" she takes on just because that's the kind of kid she is. And she's a happy, well-adjusted, social being with friends in many different circles. Isn't that enough?

[Anonymous]

Hello - OP here - I know that this post has gotten quite long, but after reading the last few comments, I'd like to point out that the whole reason I posted in the first place was to see if there were any groups with kids my son's age to socialize with, make friends with etc. I was not seeking advice about academics, or TAG programs, or schools although many people offered them. I can assure you, if he could have stayed at his elementary school, which we all loved, he would have. But if your child is not thriving (FAILING, in fact), its time to take action.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - of course, we'd prefer to have better public and private school TAG options. In our situation, flexibility (and a little creativity) is key. While homeschooling is still REALLY intimidating, it becomes a little less so knowing there are others homeschooling locally for similar reasons. A number of posts were curious about "what happened" - how was our child missed. It was all very subtle actually.

The two biggest problems were:

- a fine motor delay starting in pre-k (and while OT worked like a charm, writing problems surfaced again in 3rd grade when the paper lines became smaller and cursive was introduced/required.)

- his class participation diminished significantly when he reached 2nd grade. Kids teased him a little for being a know it all, and he withdrew. He does not like being the center of attention, which is a very common trait for TAG kids apparently. Because of these things, he was not a "stand out", however, his writing was very sophisticated and mature in content. His grades were always very good (with the exception of spelling, all As). Even his testing was off the charts, but even so, we were told to "give him another year" because he may be overwhelmed with the level of work.....so we stepped in.

thanks so much OP -- this story was very helpful to me (mom with the first grade boy... with fine motor delay...know it all in school)

[Anonymous]

OP again - one last thing - the reason we had him "tested" in the first place was not to get him into TAG (or MENSA) - we requested diagnostic testing to see if he had some sort of LD (such as dysgraphia) or ADHD. If we had not intervened, he would have continued to struggle in the regular classroom. From the moment he started 4th grade, which starts off with heavy review, his grades dropped and he became very disinterested, to the point that it was alarming.