The eternal question (re: 2 boys)
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Anonymous
NP. She's not defensive. She's very nicely pointing out that you sound insecure and not very nice. Oh, and I have a niece who is a total tomboy. She never wanted to brush her hair and never gave a crap about princesses. What does that prove exactly? Nothing. Like your examples. |
Anonymous
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I have a boy and my second was a girl — and I'm still a little sad I'll never have two boys! I don't think it has to do with wanting a child of the same sex as you, I know women bummed when their first was a girl or men sad when their first was a boy.
Enjoy them for their personalities and don't let their genders stop you from being very close to them. DS is just as likely to want me to paint his toenails or come shopping with me as DD. |
Anonymous
Look, the OP wanted to hear our views of having two boys. Those are my views. if you don't agree with them fine, but that's one of the plus points I take from having two boys. I previously said that yes, I am sad not to have a girl, but it's not something that I dwell on and I am in fact delighted with my sweet boys. The fact that I don't have to get into over the top girly stuff like many girls (though not all, but I don't know ANY little girls that aren't obsessed with those things) is a plus point for me (I was never a girly girl myself - I also think things were different in my generation because that wasn't unusual then). If it's not for you then, that's fine, it is my POINT OF VIEW and I am sharing it as OP asked. |
Anonymous
I'm not the PP you quoted, but I responded earlier to your initial post. Yes, the OP did ask for opinions, and you're as entitled to share yours as any of us are. And my point of view is that your opinion is sexist and offensive. The only one who's getting defensive here is you, PP. |
Anonymous
Wow. Just wow. I'm pregnant with #2. We have a boy, and this one is a girl. I also get the sense that girls are the assumed preferred sex. People keep giving me over the top congratulations and saying I must be so happy (even heard relieved a few times). To be honest, and I will here since this is anonymous, I always imagined myself with all boys. If we decide to try for #3, I'll be hoping for a boy. It always bothered me with my first that people would say "Your husband must be so happy it's a boy." I'm very happy about my son, and it's sad to me that people would assume otherwise. |
Anonymous
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As a PP said, girls are the preferred sex in the United States. (Except perhaps among some immigrant groups from countries with a strong preference for male children). It makes me sad for my 3 boys that so many women are dissatisfied with their sons and say disparaging things about boys -- to their faces no less. It is no less sexist to prefer to have daughters than it would be to prefer to have sons. Your children are unique human beings with so much more to them than their biological sex(es). I really hope that as time goes on women will get over this silly obsession with having daughters and learn to appreciate their children for who they are.
That having been said, I do think there is something to the idea that people want a child of their own sex. I know a few different families who have three daughters and the dads are always getting rude comments about "chick flicks" and dolls and such. Whereas for us, people feel sorry (needlessly) for *me* not my husband. |
Anonymous
PP you quoted here (and my first time responding, just so you realize you're interacting with different people). I'm not defensive, I was simply stating that I wish people could share the joy of one gender without saying negative things about the other gender. Does that make me defensive? Well, I was a little girl once, and I never liked pink or was obsessed with princesses. I have girls of various in my extended family as well. Some were into pink and princesses and some weren't. I've also said similar things when people have posted things like "I love having having girls because boys are too noisy," etc. As I said, both boys and girls are wonderful. OP asked what you love about your two little boys--your response was essentially "You already have boy stuff and you don't have to deal with girl shit." OP, here's my real response to you. I have two boys, ages 5 and 3 (and a baby girl), and there is really something special about the "brothers" bond. I love watching them play together and know that this is something special that they will share for their entire lives. My oldest takes his role very seriously and is always excited to share what he likes with his little brother. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I can honestly say I would have been happy either way, boy or girl. I wanted to see what something different would be like, but at the same time I felt that adding another brother would only add to the "brotherly love." Another great thing about having two boys (and this would probably be the same for two girls) is that it's likely they will have some of the same interests, and can play together safely and happily while you have a chance to get things done! And here's something else to consider--my DH has a very close relationship to his mother, and from very early on, she has embraced me into the family. I'm close with my mom, but in many ways I'm even closer to my mother-in-law, and she always refers to me as her daughter. Just because you don't have a daughter of your own, there's still the potential for you to have an awesome mother-daughter relationship down the road with a future daughter-in-law. |
Anonymous
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To the moms upset at those "disparaging" girls, give it a rest. I'm not one of the previous posters but the OP came in here feeling sad she's not going to have a daughter. It's only natural for those of us who won't ever have a girl say, well, at least we won't have to deal with X.
I don't have daughters and I won't as I now have two boys and that's it for us. I would love to have a daughter but there are certain aspects of having a daughter that I am relieved not to have to deal with. How one person feels about not having daughters has absolutely no impact on you (general you). |
Anonymous
Seeing as you selectively quoted my response I'm going to provide it here for you again because that was only a small part of what I said and I'm annoyed that you are mischaracterizing a completely inoffensive and straight forward comment:
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Anonymous
Thank you. There are so many mean and offensive things that people say on here and that was not one of them by any stretch of the imagination. |
Anonymous
| I am going through the same thing, currently 35 weeks with boy #2. Being a bit girly myself, I always imagined being a mother to a daughter. Of course I love boy #1 to the ends of the earth, but was a bit surprised/disappointed when we learned of boy #2. I am really glad we found out the sex so that I could go through this during the pregnancy rather than after the baby is born. At this point, I still have a little regret that I will never be mother to a daughter, but am really excited about boy #2. I can't wait to see the two of them together, how they will be alike and different. I also have worked on accepting that this is not really about me - which is the big lesson of parenthood anyway. There is a little person that I'm bringing into the world and he needs and deserves 100% of my love. My own little dreams about shopping for wedding dresses and braiding hair are ultimately not that important. |
Anonymous
| ^^ Don't discount adoption for that girl. It's not for everyone, but if it's something your open to there's lots of wonderful little girls out there waiting for their mommies and daddies (and brothers!)!!! |
Anonymous
| The grass is always greener. I have a daughter and always dreamed of having another girl so sisters could be close, etc... Well, I wound up with the love of my life, my son! Anyways, my SIL has two girls and really really wants a boy. So, she's had to accept that she'll never have a son. Also, my sister and I may as well live on separate planets. So, the whole sisters will be close thing isn't true for everyone! Go figure!!! |
Anonymous
| I just read this blog post by a local woman who is having 3 boys - it's pretty on point: http://www.butidohavealawdegree.com/2013/05/placing-order.html#.UYzkabWyBMk |
Anonymous
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I agree that there does seem to be a gender preference for girls in our country. That's interesting that others have noticed this. I think it is sad and sexist, and does a disservice to the all-boy families. But I do think it is real.
I was out recently with my three oldest- all young adult daughters- and was approached twice in one afternoon by strangers commenting on them. Both times people said how lucky I was to have these girls, who so evidently enjoy each other and enjoy being with their old Mom, too. I am lucky. I have heard some version of this for years, whenever all three of them are together. They are very close in age and their chemistry is fun to be around. However, I am lucky, not because of their gender. I am lucky because these are three healthy human beings who have grown to adulthood with a general compassion and kindness toward the world, each other, and me. That is why I feel lucky. I would feel equally lucky to be out on a lovely afternoon with three young adult sons who enjoy being together and don't mind having Mom along, too. 
In this day, to have more than one child, of whatever gender, is a true blessing. Enjoy it! |