Narcissistic Parents

[Anonymous]

Mom and probably sister too. My sister actually accused a supplier of her surgical instruments(She is a surgeon) of being a jerk for accusing her of not paying him and she putt the phone number of his business instead of business ID number on her bank invoice! He told her not to worry and pay when she can, and then she told me to call him and give him a lecture about being condescending and a jerk! She argues with her DH all the time, and when I told her that my kids are uncomfortable staying with them because of the fights, she claimed that my husband and I don't love each other as much as they love each other, because you know, people who love each other fight all the time.... Mom is worse, a victim and best at everything and always right, but why do we hate her! Lucky for me, they live in Europe.

[Anonymous]

^^put the phone number...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's NPD?

Narcissistic personality disorder

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's NPD?

Narcissistic personality disorder

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

My mom has NPD. I didn't figure it out until my early 40s (5 years ago) and it was so eye-opening. Explained my entire life. The website willieverbegoodenough.com has a good list of questions that will help you determine if you grew up with a narcissistic parent. I also have the book with the same name. Had I not had a child who loved his grandma, I would have cut off contact with her when I found out. For now, contact is extremely limited and I've come up with rules for myself when I'm around her to save my sanity. Like a pp mentioned, I recently realized the extent of my co-dependency issues and am working on that.

Just a recent (and very minor, pretty harmless) example, my mom came for a weekend visit with my brother and both noticed I had lost weight. Brother complimented me and mom said nothing. As they were preparing to leave, I overheard my mom telling my brother (with desperation in her voice, she meant business) she needed him to take her to the store before bringing her home because she had to pick up lettuce and some of her other standard diet foods. She's 77 and still gets annoyed when I'm thin, competing with me over weight loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you share the website address? I'm pretty sure my mother (and her mother) have NPD. I'm also worried that I could develop it without careful attention to my actions. I catch myself saying and doing things that I know are narcissistic, and it's gotten worse since having kids. Because I recognize that my mom and grandmother have this problem (and my father, to a lesser extent--probably a reaction to my mother), I'm hopeful that I will be able to manage my own narcissistic tendencies. At least I can admit that I have this problem, unlike the rest of my family!

Just the fact that you can identify those tendencies in your yourself means you are not a narcissist. True narcissists are NEVER self aware, they are always right and always the victim. The absolute lack of self awareness is why they will never change, My Mom is one and I lean to the codependent side but have been working hard at setting boundaries. which of course makes my Mom that much worse as she fights for control so we see a whole lot less of her even though she only lives a few miles away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's NPD?

Narcissistic personality disorder

Thank you.

People perplex me. Someone dug up a four-year-old thread only to post, "What's NPD?"

Typing NPD into google would have answered and given lots of interesting sites. I get a lot out of the various narcissistic mother/mother-in-law sites, because I have one of each.