Suggestions for a Catholic Church in MC with an open-minded head priest for baptism?

[Anonymous]

St. John Neuman in Gaithersburg. I am non-catholic and DH is Catholic and we were not married in a Catholic Church. Had a really hard time finding a church to do it with this. In fact we just got him baptized 2 weeks ago and he is 1! Made it into a first birthday/baptism thingy. They made us go to a baptism class and did ask me several times if I was interested in converting but it was very smooth for most of it. Another church we looked into was going to make us get a catholic blessing on our marriage which meant "extensive marriage counseling" and even a compatability test! After this was done we would have to renew our vows in front of the church

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Little Flower in Bethesda. I'm a single mom and had my baby by artificial insemination. When I asked to have my child baptized, no questions were asked about the father, about how I conceived. I was raised as a catholic and it was very important to me that I raise my son in the same faith. I put off my son's baptism for several years because I was afraid I'd be lectured and rejected and I wouldn't be able to handle the devastation. I'm happy to say that my son was welcomed into the church in a beautiful, moving private baptism. I can't say enough about Little Flower.

Where is this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:St. John Neuman in Gaithersburg. I am non-catholic and DH is Catholic and we were not married in a Catholic Church. Had a really hard time finding a church to do it with this. In fact we just got him baptized 2 weeks ago and he is 1! Made it into a first birthday/baptism thingy. They made us go to a baptism class and did ask me several times if I was interested in converting but it was very smooth for most of it. Another church we looked into was going to make us get a catholic blessing on our marriage which meant "extensive marriage counseling" and even a compatability test! After this was done we would have to renew our vows in front of the church

Sorry- not to hijack post but just curious parents in this situation (one catholic, one not who have already baptized catholic): do you go to church post-baptism, as a family (e.g, ALL of you)?

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not Catholic, but was one of the godparents to 3 kids of my friends, and they were baptized at St. Mary's in Rockville. I believe that none of the godparents was/is Catholic, and that wasn't a problem. This was several years ago, so don't know if they have the same priest. But worth a try since he was open to that. Can't imagine that a priest would refuse to do a baptism in the situation you describe--regardless of the parents' religion, seems like he'd be happy that they were making a commitment to raise the kids Catholic! Good luck.

I do find it very unusual and probably unlikely that a priest would agree to godparents who aren't practicing Catholics. When our children were baptized at St. Elizabeth's in Rockville, the godparents were required to be registered in a parish and to provide our pastor with a letter from their parish proving that they were registered and that they'd attended baptism orientation. Parents of course have to be members of the parish.

Another vote on St Elizabeth: I am Catholic, my husband not. When we got married I was a registered parishioner there, went regularly, participated in volunteer activites regularly, donated, even had my mid-20 something confirmation cermoney there! Anyway when I went to the pastor and explained we would like to marry in the church but still have some reference/honor of my husband's background (Jewish) he said absolutlelt not. And that there was NO way a rabbi would even set foot in his holy church. Yikes! Of course a major turn-off (have never returned) not to mention very disheartening for the state/mindset of the Catholic church. Ugh.

Ok, fast foward 4 years: we're married, have a 1 and 3 yo, both baptized at Holy Trinity in Georgetown. It was a wonderful experience! We did the group baptism (non-eucharistic) and so very light-hearted and special, but still with all the traditional meaning and ceremony. It's a gorgeous chruch, lots of history, with a Jesuit underpinning and non-jugmental mindset toward people o fdifferent backgrounds.

Last comment -- I wish you luck b/c this whole baptism thing (to do or not/where/etc) was a huge effort and tension b/t my husband and I for many, many months. In the end it all worked out and everyone was very pleased (minus the jewish grandmother of course.....) but it does bring up all kinds of disparities when you have interfaith marrriage and resulting children. All I can say is I'm happy its over and done with! You will get through it. Good luck with your choice.

[Anonymous]

Little Flower is on Mass just North of Little Falls Road

[Anonymous]

OP HERE: In response to the question about whether or not such families end up going to church afterwards, I can report that as a Catholic married to a Jew, we do go to church as a family -- albeit, not every single Sunday -- but fairly regularly (tough to do since we have an infant) -- and we are committed to raising our kids Catholic (albeit in a home that we consider to be interfaith as we celebrate Jewish holidays with our Jewish relatives). Ditto for my sisters who are also married to non-Catholics. And that's the really odd thing about this specific priest who won't baptize the baby in this situation: this is baby #2 for the married couple, and baby #1 was baptized at the same church and attends mass there. When the priest was reminded of this, he said it was a mistake. He also made reference to be a regularly contributing parishioner as opposed to someone who doesn't cough up the cash in the special envelopes -- which is really disturbing.

To the posters who are talking about rules for godparents: the Catholic church requires at least one practicing Catholic godparent -- the second godparent can be a non-Catholic christian witness.

Thanks for all the suggestions -- I truly appreciate the info and will pass it along to my sister. Please keep the info coming for folks in similar situations who are looking for churches that are more welcoming to folks who want to worship -- regardless of who they happen to be married to, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP HERE: In response to the question about whether or not such families end up going to church afterwards, I can report that as a Catholic married to a Jew, we do go to church as a family -- albeit, not every single Sunday -- but fairly regularly (tough to do since we have an infant) -- and we are committed to raising our kids Catholic (albeit in a home that we consider to be interfaith as we celebrate Jewish holidays with our Jewish relatives). Ditto for my sisters who are also married to non-Catholics. And that's the really odd thing about this specific priest who won't baptize the baby in this situation: this is baby #2 for the married couple, and baby #1 was baptized at the same church and attends mass there. When the priest was reminded of this, he said it was a mistake. He also made reference to be a regularly contributing parishioner as opposed to someone who doesn't cough up the cash in the special envelopes -- which is really disturbing.

To the posters who are talking about rules for godparents: the Catholic church requires at least one practicing Catholic godparent -- the second godparent can be a non-Catholic christian witness.

Thanks for all the suggestions -- I truly appreciate the info and will pass it along to my sister. Please keep the info coming for folks in similar situations who are looking for churches that are more welcoming to folks who want to worship -- regardless of who they happen to be married to, etc.

Just curious- how does the non-catholic person participate in mass (e.g., does he go by all the sitting, standing, kneeling, praying, singing, etc. )?? Obviously probably skips communion.....just cuirous.

[Anonymous]

In our case: The non-catholic parent obviously doesn't receive communion. He typically holds our infant and sometimes ends up walking with him at the back of the church so I can enjoy the mass with our older child. While DH isn't catholic, he does enjoy the spirituality aspect of mass -- just as I have enjoyed the spirituality aspect when we've been at services in temples or other non-catholic but christian churches. He listens to what is going on -- stands when others stand -- but doesn't kneel (of course, he's typically holding a baby so he really coulnd't kneel even if he wanted to

The bottom line for us is that we were both raised with a religious foundation with formal religious educations. I was confirmed Catholic, while he had a bar mitzvah. We value formal religious education, our respective religions, and our overall spirituality -- and we want to provide the same for our children -- so we had to opt for one religion formally. We're raising our kids catholic, but we respect and embrace the jewish religion and traditions and participate in holiday observances with our jewish relatives.

Interfaith marriage doesn't have to be so difficult

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Interfaith marriage doesn't have to be so difficult

Hmm....it sounds like we definitely have very different mother-in-laws, but good for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:St. John Neuman in Gaithersburg. I am non-catholic and DH is Catholic and we were not married in a Catholic Church. Had a really hard time finding a church to do it with this. In fact we just got him baptized 2 weeks ago and he is 1! Made it into a first birthday/baptism thingy. They made us go to a baptism class and did ask me several times if I was interested in converting but it was very smooth for most of it. Another church we looked into was going to make us get a catholic blessing on our marriage which meant "extensive marriage counseling" and even a compatability test! After this was done we would have to renew our vows in front of the church

Sorry- not to hijack post but just curious parents in this situation (one catholic, one not who have already baptized catholic): do you go to church post-baptism, as a family (e.g, ALL of you)?

Thanks.

One of the reason's that we decided to baptize DS Catholic was b/c my husband would only agree to attend a Catholic Church on a regular basis and I felt it important to attend church together as a family. DH feels that protestant churches are "too friendly" - ha ha. We go to mass most Sundays and sit in the crying room ( such fun!). I do not take communion or do the cross or anything like that. No plans for me to convert but it was important for me to 1. raise DS Christian and 2. Attend church as a family so I made this compromise. It works for us now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP HERE: In response to the question about whether or not such families end up going to church afterwards, I can report that as a Catholic married to a Jew, we do go to church as a family -- albeit, not every single Sunday -- but fairly regularly (tough to do since we have an infant) -- and we are committed to raising our kids Catholic (albeit in a home that we consider to be interfaith as we celebrate Jewish holidays with our Jewish relatives). Ditto for my sisters who are also married to non-Catholics. And that's the really odd thing about this specific priest who won't baptize the baby in this situation: this is baby #2 for the married couple, and baby #1 was baptized at the same church and attends mass there. When the priest was reminded of this, he said it was a mistake. He also made reference to be a regularly contributing parishioner as opposed to someone who doesn't cough up the cash in the special envelopes -- which is really disturbing.

To the posters who are talking about rules for godparents: the Catholic church requires at least one practicing Catholic godparent -- the second godparent can be a non-Catholic christian witness.

Thanks for all the suggestions -- I truly appreciate the info and will pass it along to my sister. Please keep the info coming for folks in similar situations who are looking for churches that are more welcoming to folks who want to worship -- regardless of who they happen to be married to, etc.

Just curious- how does the non-catholic person participate in mass (e.g., does he go by all the sitting, standing, kneeling, praying, singing, etc. )?? Obviously probably skips communion.....just cuirous.

I am the first PP who mentioned being a godparent to Catholic children though not Catholic myself. The baptisms that I participated in were not part of a full mass, and there was no communion. However, I am a Christian (and I was/am much more involved in my church than the parents were/are in theirs), and I have sat/stood/knelt/prayed/sung (in fact, I sang at this couple's wedding) in churches not of my denomination many times. I don't necessarily agree with every interpretation of scripture, but in general, we are all worshipping God, and I just tune out some things. I skip communion in the Catholic church only because the church excludes non-Catholics from it. In my own denomination, anyone baptized in any Christian church is welcome to receive communion.