My DH's sister is a total b-word! *Warning* This is a vent, it may hurt your brain and eyes!

[Anonymous]

OP, what do your husband and child think of the SIL, or do their opinions matter?

[Anonymous]

Also, from the title, I was expecting -- at the least -- drug addiction, grand theft, a Jerry Springer-style fight, or her sleeping with your gardener.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kinda sounds like ILs have the problem and it's spilling over into your life. Just remember you can't control other people but you can control how you feel. Take charge woman and don't let her bother you!

I agree. I also wouldn't take responsiblity for inviting her to your DD's party. She's your DH's sister, let him invite her. Why do you have to own that?

[Anonymous]

for some reason some posts were deleted from this thread. I guess computer glitch?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kinda sounds like ILs have the problem and it's spilling over into your life. Just remember you can't control other people but you can control how you feel. Take charge woman and don't let her bother you!

I agree. I also wouldn't take responsiblity for inviting her to your DD's party. She's your DH's sister, let him invite her. Why do you have to own that?

I'm also in agreement with this. Don't give her too much credit -- your reaction to the situation is borderline paranoid. I know as my mom was like this with her inlaws. She gave them way too much credit and always thought they were trying to screw us. Yes, they were not nice people, but it really came down to the fact they just didn't notice us much and we were below their radar. Instead she ramped the whole thing up in her head and it became a big deal for her and I bet, if you had asked her many years ago she would also have said they would like to stomp around on their carpet in poopy, muddy shoes too.

You will be much happier if you can learn to step back and take it at face value and not add a lot of other context to the situation.

[Anonymous]

Other than the birthday party issue (which I agree is way overblown, and which OP created/contributed to by not inviting her SIL), all we know is OP rantign about how horrible her SIL is (no specifics), how her ILs perfer the SIL, and how OP isn't as smart as the SIL (no comment). This rant seems born out of insecurity than any actual complaints.

[Anonymous]

If the birthday party was just your family, the ILs, and one or two other people, having the ILs leave early is a problem. If it was a bigger party with DD's friends, it is less of a big deal.

SIL coming to town precisely during the party is fishy and immature if she did it intentionally. I agree with PPs that the real problem there is the ILs.

If the ILs are always putting SIL above your family, you and H need to distance yourself. They are unlikely to improve with time.

[Anonymous]

1. the sister in law did not drive 12 hours to spite a child's party. You are paranoid.
2. The in-laws seem great. They came to the party and had a chance to see THEIR DAUGHTER, who lives out of town. You have to prioritize when you have a spread out family.
3. I'm sure your little one had a nice party and was happy to see the grandparents, but mostly she probably played with her pre-school buddies.
4. You are nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kinda sounds like ILs have the problem and it's spilling over into your life. Just remember you can't control other people but you can control how you feel. Take charge woman and don't let her bother you!

I agree. I also wouldn't take responsiblity for inviting her to your DD's party. She's your DH's sister, let him invite her. Why do you have to own that?

I'm also in agreement with this. Don't give her too much credit -- your reaction to the situation is borderline paranoid. I know as my mom was like this with her inlaws. She gave them way too much credit and always thought they were trying to screw us. Yes, they were not nice people, but it really came down to the fact they just didn't notice us much and we were below their radar. Instead she ramped the whole thing up in her head and it became a big deal for her and I bet, if you had asked her many years ago she would also have said they would like to stomp around on their carpet in poopy, muddy shoes too.

You will be much happier if you can learn to step back and take it at face value and not add a lot of other context to the situation.

Great advice & perspective!

[Anonymous]

8:40, did you just read Lady Chatterly's Lover?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:for some reason some posts were deleted from this thread. I guess computer glitch?

no, an unhelpful poster, who used profanity in his response.