Anyone dropped strings?

[Anonymous]

Sorry, reposting my answer because I don;'t know how to use the quotes!!!

I don't mean to offend you by this, but having a private teacher doesn't say anything about caring about grades. I have a private teacher for both my kids and I promise you, I am the least grade-conscious parent I know. I have the teacher because I want them to learn the instrument properly, which is hard to get in a group class, and I want them to be encouraged by a positive role model and learn to love music.

BTW, I think the anxiety your daughter shows and her focus on As at such an early age is really troubling. The reason why I have such an anti-grade philosophy with my kids is because I myself was that grade conscious child. I got perfect grades and lived in fear of doing something less than perfect. This not only inhiibited my learning and made for a very anxious child, but it contributed to my being a perfectionist and developing an eating disorder for many years. I don't want to be an alarmist, but the earlier issues like these are addressed, the better. IMHO, letting your daughter experience getting less than As, and realizing she is still a good person, worthy of love, and that the grades are not a measure of who she is or what she knows or how hard she tries is an important lesson to learn.

[Anonymous]

OP here. PP while I appreciate your concern, I said she was getting help and I meant it. She did a year of CBT therapy for anxiety and is now in group therapy. She is actually much improved. But I feel like maybe strings was just one too many things for her to handle this year. And I did not say that having a private tutor for violin meant that you were intense. I said that I was afraid it would send a message to *my* kid that strings was more important than it really is to me. It's a bit of a balancing act. And she does not get all As. She gets Bs in some subjects and we truly do not talk to her about grades at all. But she is very self motivated and the teachers talk about it during school as well.