Physical Dominance in Youth Soccer: Do Boys Get the Same Feedback as Girls?

[Anonymous]

This may be a tough pill to swallow now but it seems you got helpful feedback at the right time for your daughter. The top teams are looking for the trifecta of technical skills, soccer IQ, and aggression. Hopefully your daughter takes this constructive feedback and is motivated to improve her technical side. I think the technical side is the hardest to teach but it will often take you the farthest. There are two bigger, aggressive kids on my DS’s team. He has played with both of them for the last three years. These kids used their size and aggression as a crutch for years but now the game has passed them by. Kids who were smaller before are now better soccer players, and the physical advantage these boys had against other teams has waned.

Your daughter has a head start on at least one part of the trifecta. She needs to spend more time working on other parts. At U12 or U13, she has time to work on that part of her game. Good luck to her!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll be honest, it's rare to hear of a physically dominant player like that being held back or not selected because of needing more technical skill. I'd say that's a sign of someone giving an honest evaluation. It's often the other way around where more physically dominant players (regardless of gender) get picked instead.

On the boys side, it is far more common to see the big physical players promoted with a goal of "teaching" the technical skill. That's ok at the U-little ages. But once you get to U14 and up, they have what they have in terms of technical ability. That's why many boys teams (especially in HS) play longball.

Overlooking the technically sound, high soccer IQ players who aren't fast or big is a far more common problem.

Yeah father of extremely technical but small (until late last year) boy scouted by two pros but clustered his youth career on second teams this would NEVER be said to a boy. You’re recognizing the reverse bias our child faced.

But I would tread cautiously. Remember in US it is a league built for coaches, not for player development. Our kids are pawns to D3 coaches on men’s side. They play what they know and that’s largely a counter-attack style in US on boys that wins games and keeps unknowing parent’s satisfied on Monday with the ‘win’.

Gaining technical skill is frankly getting late in age to acquire mastery (10,000 hour rule) by recruiting age 17. I might try to move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leave the club. What kind of example are you setting for your daughter by letting the patriarchy hold her back?

I need attention mommy, look at me, I'm posting a topically unrelated clickbait fueled argument on an anonymous message forum!
-Got news for ya, female coaches would hold her back just the same. We have a physically dominant player on our DDs second team and she can't keep up w the 1st team on technical ability and speed of play. Female coaches holding her back too.

[Anonymous]

competitiveness and aggressiveness is a talent, which’s hard yo teach. Your daughter has a very high ceiling, but she needs high level technical skills to make it work too. With extra technical training she will be so much better! It’s very worthy to spend time, efforts and money on it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have an 11-year-old girl on a dominating second team (best in flight). She’s a leading goal scorer, a lockdown defender, and an absolute “beast” athletically — the kind of physical, competitive player who wins games through sheer dominance and counter-attacking effectiveness. We love her current coach but he is leaving the club.

After tryouts, she was told she’s not ready to move up because she needs to become more technical and a “play creator,” rather than primarily a “play destroyer.”

This left us wondering: Is this feedback given equally to boys? Do physically dominant, effective boys who rely on athleticism, defensive shutdowns, and counter-attacks also get held back at this age until they show technical mastery? Or is there sometimes a different standard applied to girls who play a powerful, direct style and not possession based?
My gut tells me, physical athletic boys can still get promoted.

Looking for honest experiences from boys and girls sides. Appreciate any insight.

Soccer is more than running, pushing and shoving or kick and run. It is an IQ and technical game. At a young age, it will work but a U15 and up, coaches take notice. If you don’t know what to do with the ball when you get it you get cut from the team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave the club. What kind of example are you setting for your daughter by letting the patriarchy hold her back?

I need attention mommy, look at me, I'm posting a topically unrelated clickbait fueled argument on an anonymous message forum!
-Got news for ya, female coaches would hold her back just the same. We have a physically dominant player on our DDs second team and she can't keep up w the 1st team on technical ability and speed of play. Female coaches holding her back too.

Ever heard of sarcasm? Yeesh.

[Anonymous]

If anything, I think boys who play like this are even more likely to get cut or demoted because the defensive pressure comes at them so much faster. Defenders have to make a quick decisions once they strip the ball from the other team.From what I have seen, the boys who can push other boys off the ball, but then don’t know what to do with it end up losing it again or making a really bad pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like she is ready to play girls high school soccer. Have you seen how rough it is? I have no idea what other people are talking about that it doesn't work in 11v 11. We aren't in Spain.

Is she winning every 50/50 ball? Pushing her way through a crowd to score a goal. Using her body to defend.

Is her birthday affected by age change, like she is a summer birthday or fall birthday?

I think you missed one key point - second team. It's different if they're dominating good competition, but using size to dominate second tier competition won't work for long at all.

[Anonymous]

Agree with others that it’s a good thing the club is recognizing this early, if they are being sincere about the reason for the demotion.

An anecdote: when my DS started travel soccer at 8, the coach of an opposing team took us aside after a game and said our son stood out for his speed, coordination, aggression, and knack for goal-scoring. But he warned us that we weren’t at a club known for developing kids’ technical abilities, and that our son would likely end up squandering his potential if we didn’t address the technical piece. He told us he’d be happy to train DS, and/or have him practice with the coach’s team for the rest of the year for free while remaining on his current team. We took him up on both, and it all has worked out very well many years later. We were clueless about soccer and are grateful for the intervention of that incredible coach.

[Anonymous]

Your child isn't as good as you think they are. Sounds like big physically but that only gets you so far in soccer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave the club. What kind of example are you setting for your daughter by letting the patriarchy hold her back?

I need attention mommy, look at me, I'm posting a topically unrelated clickbait fueled argument on an anonymous message forum!
-Got news for ya, female coaches would hold her back just the same. We have a physically dominant player on our DDs second team and she can't keep up w the 1st team on technical ability and speed of play. Female coaches holding her back too.

Ever heard of sarcasm? Yeesh.

I welcome sarcasm! Missed that part of it

[Anonymous]

I have a male athlete and don't feel they get constructive feedback to help them develop. Many club coaches are not trained to give that kind of feedback. That rather loose the player(s) than give honest feedback to help the player develop imo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:competitiveness and aggressiveness is a talent, which’s hard yo teach. Your daughter has a very high ceiling, but she needs high level technical skills to make it work too. With extra technical training she will be so much better! It’s very worthy to spend time, efforts and money on it!

You can’t say she has very high ceiling. She has not even played on a full field yet.

Also all players have a potential range of every skill. Technical skill is the same. A player that has high technical skill potential will be more technical with 1/2 the work vs a player with lower skill potential. It’s similar to speed. You can develop it but only within a certain range.

If an 11 year old is being told she needs to develop her technical skills it is a huge red flag. The next few years are the selection years. If you are a big physical players with questionable technical skills- hard touch, loses the ball in tight spaces, can’t pass accurately, etc, you will not be ask to do those technical things in practice or games. It is a self reinforcing system.

[Anonymous]

I have a graduated boy who played travel from U9-U19 and a girl currently playing U15.

The boys in general play much more physically than the girls and another thing I have noticed is that refs call games much differently for boys than girls. They let a lot of the physicality play out in the boys games but in the girls games, one player puts another on the ground and they almost always call it.

Maybe your daughter's coaches see her as a liability with that style of play and they want her to be more of a smart tactical player than a physical player to save them from all of the fouls and penalty kicks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a graduated boy who played travel from U9-U19 and a girl currently playing U15.

The boys in general play much more physically than the girls and another thing I have noticed is that refs call games much differently for boys than girls. They let a lot of the physicality play out in the boys games but in the girls games, one player puts another on the ground and they almost always call it.

Maybe your daughter's coaches see her as a liability with that style of play and they want her to be more of a smart tactical player than a physical player to save them from all of the fouls and penalty kicks.

No offense, but what level are we talking about? ECNL (G) is VERY physical and refs lot A LOT go.