Why its almost always women putting partner's career ahead of their own

[Anonymous]

It's because women still give birth to babies. I think child free marriages are usually more egalitarian.

I know some SAHD families. Usually it's where the wife massively outearns the husband. That's still rare.

In most occupations, men still statistically have an earnings advantage. Research ties some of it back to the impact of childbearing on women's careers. That does not have a single cause.

Interestingly, offering generous paternity leave seems to help level the playing field inside companies (according to research). Based on my own experience it does so by pointing out that, if supported, men will also prioritize their baby over work. I will further point out, rather rudely, that I now hear some of the same unsupportive grumbling about new dad reliability that I used to hear about new mothers. Because now they are equally unable to be counted on during the couple years when they are having their 2-3 kids and get 3 months of leave for each. So one guy has been gone for 9 months of the past 4 years plus normal generous vacation.

[Anonymous]

I am 53 and out earn my husband (15x more). He is a hard worker but I am better at making money. He was a SAHD for a while but now works. It was very unusual 20 years ago when our first DC was born

But I think it is becoming more common. Younger women are far more ambitious now.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think this is a true premise. Two incomes are now basically required to young families. If one person makes significantly more and the economics of child care no longer pencil out, one spouse will stay home until the kids are latch key age. But…I’ve seen the man do it on several occasions and it usually ends in divorce.

[Anonymous]

My brother moved abroad for his wife's career and was even a SAHD while he was getting his work permits to go through. It absolutely can work.

[Anonymous]

Because men cannot bear children. Generally speaking, the caretaking urge is stronger in women than men so they are more likely than men to prioritize family over career.

I’m a woman who has focused strongly on my career and have achieved greater success than DH. As my kids head to college, I do have regret that I wasn’t as present physically and emotionally during their childhoods.

[Anonymous]

Because women are women and men are men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is 2026. Why aren't more men doing it?

Because women are not attracted to men who can’t provide. A man who puts his own career ahead attracts more women.

[Anonymous]

I am breadwinner in my family. Dh walks the dog and occasionally fixes something

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because most women don't want to be married to men who would take a step back and make their wife be the primary breadwinner. In my experience, this is true even with childfree couples where pregnancy/birth/parenting aren't factors. Super career-focused women are outliers although an out-sized amount of discourse focuses on them.

This is the key. And notice your language “make their wife be the primary breadwinner.” Says a lot about the woman who would say such a thing. I’m a woman who has prioritized my career so I don’t have sympathy for woman who didn’t and then gets upset that there is an imbalance in their relationship due to the earning disparity. We are adults. Step up and take financial responsibility for you and your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of it is age difference. If the man is 5-10 years older than the woman, he’s likely been in his career several years longer and makes more money. So it makes “sense” in the short term to prioritize the job with more income, even if it makes very little sense in the long run.

Most couples I know don't have a 5-10 year age gap between them. Is your experience different?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is 2026. Why aren't more men doing it?

Because women are smarter and know they can make men their employees if they allow them to pursue their careers. Being CEO of the home is a better gig than being a non-equity partner at Wilmer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always have prioritiezed my career and always will.

+1

I currently out earn my husband, although I haven't always. We equally prioritize each other's careers, which means we both have to make sacrifices and also push back on our employers. I couldn't be married to someone who didn't respect my career but apparently a lot of women on here are.

[Anonymous]

On average, women don't want to work outside of the home as much as men do. It's that simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always have prioritiezed my career and always will.

All of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always have prioritiezed my career and always will.

+1

I currently out earn my husband, although I haven't always. We equally prioritize each other's careers, which means we both have to make sacrifices and also push back on our employers. I couldn't be married to someone who didn't respect my career but apparently a lot of women on here are.

A lot of women on here don't respect their own career and financial earning power.