Anyone else with a hypochondriacal partner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone ever get with a man like this? And if it's new, try to get them treatment for their anxiety.

Because people are worth more than their worst mental struggles?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When they sneeze and tell me they feel like they are coming down with the flu, I ignore

When do you not ignore?

I’ve found that doctors will be happy to send me/my partner for expensive tests ‘just in case’. To me, these aren’t things to worry about, but to my partner, it means he has the *worst possible outcome* whatever that is.

Ex, a simple planters wart. Dr removes, says they are 99% sure it’s a wart but just in case, let’s send for a biopsy. To my partner this equals ‘the doctor is concerned, they ordered a biopsy and it is probably cancer!’

Now take this example and repeat it over and over.

I can top this. Acquaintance got treated for rabies because the “dogs running around” in the developing country he visited “looked bad.” He hadn’t even touched one, let alone received a bite. He has a concierge doctor who humors this stuff from him.

Lol. Yeah, we spent three years dealing with "pancreatic cancer" that was undetectable to every medical professional from DC to Boston. Those losers at Hopkins had no idea what they were dealing with! The humouring was pretty unreal in terms of procedures lacking diagnostic criteria.

I feel like if you are a man and you think you have pancreatic cancer because you once felt a twitch somewhere in the abdomen you will be given years of of expensive tests and doctors will humor you and provide loads of support. Be a woman with an actual burst appendix and a sneering (old, white, male) ER doc will try to send you home with TUMs (ask me how I know...).

Yes of course with all of your personal experience with living as a man you would surely know!

[Anonymous]

My DH is like this. He has gone to therapy for 4 years and it’s gotten better. Sometimes I just call out: you know, you’re under a lot of stress rn, maybe that stomachache is stress. Sometimes it works, sometimes he thinks it’s minimizing. He is otherwise a lovely person, great dad, wonderful partner. It’s just a weird quirk that I’ve learned to deal with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When they sneeze and tell me they feel like they are coming down with the flu, I ignore

When do you not ignore?

I’ve found that doctors will be happy to send me/my partner for expensive tests ‘just in case’. To me, these aren’t things to worry about, but to my partner, it means he has the *worst possible outcome* whatever that is.

Ex, a simple planters wart. Dr removes, says they are 99% sure it’s a wart but just in case, let’s send for a biopsy. To my partner this equals ‘the doctor is concerned, they ordered a biopsy and it is probably cancer!’

Now take this example and repeat it over and over.

My friend is just like this. The Dr wanted to test something small "just to be sure" and she assumed it would be cancer. Before she even went in for the minor procedure, she researched which facility had the highest ratings and called an out of state research hospital to find out if they had openings and when they could start treatment. Then a few days later the test came back negative.

The other thing is she refuses almost all prescription medication, but does her own "research". She had surgery with stitched up wounds and refused to take the antibiotic because some alternative would be "safer". Then a few days later it got infected and she had to take the antibiotic plus something else since it got so bad.

She takes advice from "quacks" who present them selves as a Dr (and hide that it's a chiropractic Dr) and has 20 bottles of alternative medications from the health store that cost a fortune.

Reminds me of the Tim Minchin song lyric "Do you know what they call 'alternative medicine' that's been proved to work?
Medicine."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When they sneeze and tell me they feel like they are coming down with the flu, I ignore

When do you not ignore?

I’ve found that doctors will be happy to send me/my partner for expensive tests ‘just in case’. To me, these aren’t things to worry about, but to my partner, it means he has the *worst possible outcome* whatever that is.

Ex, a simple planters wart. Dr removes, says they are 99% sure it’s a wart but just in case, let’s send for a biopsy. To my partner this equals ‘the doctor is concerned, they ordered a biopsy and it is probably cancer!’

Now take this example and repeat it over and over.

I can top this. Acquaintance got treated for rabies because the “dogs running around” in the developing country he visited “looked bad.” He hadn’t even touched one, let alone received a bite. He has a concierge doctor who humors this stuff from him.

Lol. Yeah, we spent three years dealing with "pancreatic cancer" that was undetectable to every medical professional from DC to Boston. Those losers at Hopkins had no idea what they were dealing with! The humouring was pretty unreal in terms of procedures lacking diagnostic criteria.

I feel like if you are a man and you think you have pancreatic cancer because you once felt a twitch somewhere in the abdomen you will be given years of of expensive tests and doctors will humor you and provide loads of support. Be a woman with an actual burst appendix and a sneering (old, white, male) ER doc will try to send you home with TUMs (ask me how I know...).

The treatment of women in an ER or with many (most) male doctors around here is HORRIFIC. Purely HORRIFIC. The gas lighting is next level as the lack of any care of concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When they sneeze and tell me they feel like they are coming down with the flu, I ignore

When do you not ignore?

I’ve found that doctors will be happy to send me/my partner for expensive tests ‘just in case’. To me, these aren’t things to worry about, but to my partner, it means he has the *worst possible outcome* whatever that is.

Ex, a simple planters wart. Dr removes, says they are 99% sure it’s a wart but just in case, let’s send for a biopsy. To my partner this equals ‘the doctor is concerned, they ordered a biopsy and it is probably cancer!’

Now take this example and repeat it over and over.

Any biopsy HAS to by LAW be sent into the lab for a biopsy. Doctors don't have a choice it's a requirement. Tell her that.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who takes her kids to the doctor for every sniffle and ache. But she has a phobia of germs, I think. She likes to nip things in the bud. She was shocked to learn not everyone is like this. When the kids were little and things would go around our kindergarten class, I was comfortable caring for them at home for a few days with tylenol and rest, then going to the doctor if a fever persisted a few days. She would NEVER do that. She'd go on the first day. I thought the doctor would teach her over the years but I guess they like customers as much as any other business.

[Anonymous]

I have had severe health anxiety that pops up every few years for the last 25 years. Mine are things I can catasrophise such as cancer, heart, liver, brain or kidney issues. I’ve got zero germophobia or issues about colds/flu etc.

After our son moved off to college and we became empty nesters I finally had time to take on the problem. I started seeing a psychiatrist and its helped a lot. My psych thinks its because I grew up in an alcaholic and physically violent household.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When they sneeze and tell me they feel like they are coming down with the flu, I ignore

When do you not ignore?

I’ve found that doctors will be happy to send me/my partner for expensive tests ‘just in case’. To me, these aren’t things to worry about, but to my partner, it means he has the *worst possible outcome* whatever that is.

Ex, a simple planters wart. Dr removes, says they are 99% sure it’s a wart but just in case, let’s send for a biopsy. To my partner this equals ‘the doctor is concerned, they ordered a biopsy and it is probably cancer!’

Now take this example and repeat it over and over.

Any biopsy HAS to by LAW be sent into the lab for a biopsy. Doctors don't have a choice it's a requirement. Tell her that.

No. Tissue can be removed and not sent for path. If there’s no clinical suspicion for neoplastic change we dump it. If you’re billing it as potentially pre-cancerous or needs to check margins then yes it’s sent.

This is based on institutional policy and CMS billing practices, not “law”.

Plantar warts are unlikely to need eval under a microscope. So I wouldn’t send it. Then again, we have a for-profit healthcare system where both patients and docs lose, also patients expect 100% right answers and routinely threaten to sue if they don’t get them.

So yeah. We try to be right because we’re crucified when we’re wrong. Also despite the doctor hate out there, we don’t want to hurt people or miss something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who takes her kids to the doctor for every sniffle and ache. But she has a phobia of germs, I think. She likes to nip things in the bud. She was shocked to learn not everyone is like this. When the kids were little and things would go around our kindergarten class, I was comfortable caring for them at home for a few days with tylenol and rest, then going to the doctor if a fever persisted a few days. She would NEVER do that. She'd go on the first day. I thought the doctor would teach her over the years but I guess they like customers as much as any other business.

There are so many people on these threads, adult women who go to the doctors like it's their job. Hang nail? Time to book an appt. It's very odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When they sneeze and tell me they feel like they are coming down with the flu, I ignore

When do you not ignore?

I’ve found that doctors will be happy to send me/my partner for expensive tests ‘just in case’. To me, these aren’t things to worry about, but to my partner, it means he has the *worst possible outcome* whatever that is.

Ex, a simple planters wart. Dr removes, says they are 99% sure it’s a wart but just in case, let’s send for a biopsy. To my partner this equals ‘the doctor is concerned, they ordered a biopsy and it is probably cancer!’

Now take this example and repeat it over and over.

Any biopsy HAS to by LAW be sent into the lab for a biopsy. Doctors don't have a choice it's a requirement. Tell her that.

+1 Skin biopsies are sent to the lab, warts are not. Removing warts that's not a biopsy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When they sneeze and tell me they feel like they are coming down with the flu, I ignore

When do you not ignore?

I’ve found that doctors will be happy to send me/my partner for expensive tests ‘just in case’. To me, these aren’t things to worry about, but to my partner, it means he has the *worst possible outcome* whatever that is.

Ex, a simple planters wart. Dr removes, says they are 99% sure it’s a wart but just in case, let’s send for a biopsy. To my partner this equals ‘the doctor is concerned, they ordered a biopsy and it is probably cancer!’

Now take this example and repeat it over and over.

My friend is just like this. The Dr wanted to test something small "just to be sure" and she assumed it would be cancer. Before she even went in for the minor procedure, she researched which facility had the highest ratings and called an out of state research hospital to find out if they had openings and when they could start treatment. Then a few days later the test came back negative.

The other thing is she refuses almost all prescription medication, but does her own "research". She had surgery with stitched up wounds and refused to take the antibiotic because some alternative would be "safer". Then a few days later it got infected and she had to take the antibiotic plus something else since it got so bad.

She takes advice from "quacks" who present them selves as a Dr (and hide that it's a chiropractic Dr) and has 20 bottles of alternative medications from the health store that cost a fortune.

Reminds me of the Tim Minchin song lyric "Do you know what they call 'alternative medicine' that's been proved to work?
Medicine."

lol!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have had severe health anxiety that pops up every few years for the last 25 years. Mine are things I can catasrophise such as cancer, heart, liver, brain or kidney issues. I’ve got zero germophobia or issues about colds/flu etc.

After our son moved off to college and we became empty nesters I finally had time to take on the problem. I started seeing a psychiatrist and its helped a lot. My psych thinks its because I grew up in an alcaholic and physically violent household.

Are you on any meds? I’m op and my dh is already on setraline. He thinks he’s fine but every doctors visit- and they are pretty much weekly- is cause for major concern and follow up. When one issue is resolved - I don’t have cancer- he moves on to the next. Any test result that comes back as even mildly imperfect is immediately viewed as ‘high risk’. And forget dental work- same thing.

Interestingly, he’s also not really a Germaphobe. But it does transfer over the other areas. I bought a Weber grill one year for our vacation home. We use a bbq/grill maybe 5 times a year. Dh got hysterical. Charred meat = cancer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who takes her kids to the doctor for every sniffle and ache. But she has a phobia of germs, I think. She likes to nip things in the bud. She was shocked to learn not everyone is like this. When the kids were little and things would go around our kindergarten class, I was comfortable caring for them at home for a few days with tylenol and rest, then going to the doctor if a fever persisted a few days. She would NEVER do that. She'd go on the first day. I thought the doctor would teach her over the years but I guess they like customers as much as any other business.

There are so many people on these threads, adult women who go to the doctors like it's their job. Hang nail? Time to book an appt. It's very odd.

Well my hypochondriac is a man so

[Anonymous]

Yes my partner