Spending Money - First Year On Campus w/ Meal Plan

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) Michigan - $200

This includes going out to eat with friends at cheap restaurants a few times a month, personal care products at college town high prices, and a little more vending machine action than I'd like to see.

I could tell him to cut back and $200 is about the max.

My kid's not spoiled. Over the summer, he ate a lot of dinners made from free food leftover from catered lunches at his internship.

He uses a credit card plate off my account. I keep an eye on it for bad trends.

This also includes laundry money. Forgot to spell that out. It gets charged to CC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Michigan - $200

This includes going out to eat with friends at cheap restaurants a few times a month, personal care products at college town high prices, and a little more vending machine action than I'd like to see.

I could tell him to cut back and $200 is about the max.

My kid's not spoiled. Over the summer, he ate a lot of dinners made from free food leftover from catered lunches at his internship.

He uses a credit card plate off my account. I keep an eye on it for bad trends.

Was this a joke? This is premade food that he neither cooked nor purchased. This was not a sacrifice by any means.

My point is that over the summer his grocery bills were lessened by him proactively arranging to take home leftovers. Some people are too fancy or proud for that. No it's not a joke and no need to insult people who are randomly sharing their personal business to help other people plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps simpler for you to state her college (or at least what city it is in). My kid's experience in a small town might not be relevant.

This is OP. I see your point, but I was actually curious about differences in big cities vs. smaller towns, especially with another child starting next year.

DD is at JMU. We give her $300 a month. I believe it's more than generous. She blows through it fast. She does not have her own extra savings. I'm guessing it's going to alcohol + some semi-legitimate extra costs related to being in a sorority (group outings that, while optional, are certainly nice to participate in).

So, since this board is NOVA/DMV heavy, I'm especially interested in hearing from people at JMU. But again, I think seeing differences is interesting.

I hate to be sexist too, but I do see difference between male/female, depending on the number of things considered essential (which I understand is subjective).

[Anonymous]

DC
$0

If they want extra spending money, they use their own money. I pay for the occasional bus or train ticket to come home, but they usually pay tickets for visits home.

[Anonymous]

We don’t give extra spending money. We pay for laundry, meal plan, some groceries (snacks). They pay for sorority and all social stuff. $300 a month? They need to learn what’s important and how to work for it and make decisions, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, and I hate to be sexist, but I think this number is different for men vs. women.

My son attends Case and he barely spends anything, so we don't even have a budget. He's a junior this year with a meal plan but he's living in an on-campus apartment with a full kitchen. He spends maybe $100/month of our money and that's the most he's ever spent. During his first two years when he was in a regular dorm without a kitchen, he spent maybe $50/month.

We give the same amount to our kids regardless of gender.

I would hope so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps simpler for you to state her college (or at least what city it is in). My kid's experience in a small town might not be relevant.

This is OP. I see your point, but I was actually curious about differences in big cities vs. smaller towns, especially with another child starting next year.

DD is at JMU. We give her $300 a month. I believe it's more than generous. She blows through it fast. She does not have her own extra savings. I'm guessing it's going to alcohol + some semi-legitimate extra costs related to being in a sorority (group outings that, while optional, are certainly nice to participate in).

So, since this board is NOVA/DMV heavy, I'm especially interested in hearing from people at JMU. But again, I think seeing differences is interesting.

I hate to be sexist too, but I do see difference between male/female, depending on the number of things considered essential (which I understand is subjective).

I would've made a rule when she decided she wanted to pledge that she had to pay her sorority dues/expenses. Did she not have a summer job?

[Anonymous]

Okay. OP again.

Let's just assume some students don't have savings, which is the case with my DD, for a number of reasons I won't get into. She was unable to work over the summer due to family obligations.

I realize I have a problem however and am trying to figure out how to course correct, which again will be helpful given that we will have another in college soon. So I'm just interested in some informal data.

[Anonymous]

I just had this conversation with a friend. He gives 200 a month. He has one kid that wants/needs more so he is going to get a job. Kids choice.

My kid has money from his Summer job but doesn't really touch it. He has one of our credit cards. He doesn't go crazy. He probably eats out once a week. And this is fast casual. He has bought a few pieces of school clothing. We were okay with it since he really didn't have (one shirt) any when he went to college. We also paid club does. This was about 60. Our kid isn't big drinker so that helps a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay. OP again.

Let's just assume some students don't have savings, which is the case with my DD, for a number of reasons I won't get into. She was unable to work over the summer due to family obligations.

I realize I have a problem however and am trying to figure out how to course correct, which again will be helpful given that we will have another in college soon. So I'm just interested in some informal data.

What the entire summer she was tied up in family obligations. What did she do during her senior year. Did she not get some gifts for birthdays, etc.? My kid that is a freshman put away upwards of 10K working from summer 2024 through when my kid quite their job in August. My wife feels guilty not giving her any money but I look at it as her essentials are cared for and if she needs something out of the ordinary we will discuss how we will split the costs.

If they are on a meal plan and only a freshman, then there is only a limited number of things to buy. If she wants high end coffees, personal products, etc. then she should purchase them with her own funds, which might mean-...eek...she might need to get a job like thousands of other college students have done in the past, are doing now, and will do in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay. OP again.

Let's just assume some students don't have savings, which is the case with my DD, for a number of reasons I won't get into. She was unable to work over the summer due to family obligations.

I realize I have a problem however and am trying to figure out how to course correct, which again will be helpful given that we will have another in college soon. So I'm just interested in some informal data.

The main issue here to me is actually that because of your daughter's social choices in school, her "entertainment" budget is maybe higher than if she'd made different choices. I didn't join a sorority in school and so did not incur the expenses related to formals, rush, special outfits, dues, etc. plus the not-really-optional expenses related to socializing.

If you are not interested in paying for her sorority social experience, you need to have the conversation now with the context being that sorority participation is going to increase her spending in some areas you're not funding, and help her figure out what to do. It's not enough to just say "no, you can't do that because I won't pay for it." The kid needs to be parented to assess opportunities and weigh costs, which she cannot do without actual information.

If your base budget for kid socializing is $300, she needs to look at how much she's going over by and why. Then you can either adjust the budget or help her understand how to budget such that she's not blowing it all at the beginning of the month.

[Anonymous]

I have had this conversation with many friends over the years. It turns out, little did I know, some of their colleges do not have food point availability on weekends, others do not offer enough food points in the mandatory meal plan to cover all the food for 3 meals a day. Some campuses have free or cheap ($10) tickets to on and even nearby city shows/sports/entertainment, other schools charge students ridiculous amounts for on campus sports, shows and even parties. Some greek life is $500 a semester, some is $5000 a semester!
Some parents give $0 over food plan, usually they have kids at well-endowed schools with free or cheap social opportunities. Others give $1000 per month extra because their skinny kid cannot eat enough on the meal plan and every little thing costs $ on campus (non-flagship large southern public)

Each has to figure it out on own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay. OP again.

Let's just assume some students don't have savings, which is the case with my DD, for a number of reasons I won't get into. She was unable to work over the summer due to family obligations.

I realize I have a problem however and am trying to figure out how to course correct, which again will be helpful given that we will have another in college soon. So I'm just interested in some informal data.

Though my kids are in school in CA, they did not join greek life. DD is not a manicure type. Neither are big drinkers/partiers. The $200 pays for toiletries, laundry, and a few meals off campus, maybe a movie or two. We didn't let them work freshman year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay. OP again.

Let's just assume some students don't have savings, which is the case with my DD, for a number of reasons I won't get into. She was unable to work over the summer due to family obligations.

I realize I have a problem however and am trying to figure out how to course correct, which again will be helpful given that we will have another in college soon. So I'm just interested in some informal data.

The main issue here to me is actually that because of your daughter's social choices in school, her "entertainment" budget is maybe higher than if she'd made different choices. I didn't join a sorority in school and so did not incur the expenses related to formals, rush, special outfits, dues, etc. plus the not-really-optional expenses related to socializing.

If you are not interested in paying for her sorority social experience, you need to have the conversation now with the context being that sorority participation is going to increase her spending in some areas you're not funding, and help her figure out what to do. It's not enough to just say "no, you can't do that because I won't pay for it." The kid needs to be parented to assess opportunities and weigh costs, which she cannot do without actual information.

If your base budget for kid socializing is $300, she needs to look at how much she's going over by and why. Then you can either adjust the budget or help her understand how to budget such that she's not blowing it all at the beginning of the month.

OP here.

Thank you for this. We agreed to pay sorority expenses - monthly dues + occasional dresses. At JMU, these expenses are not what I consider exorbitant, and I believe that for my DD they are valuable. I was not in a sorority myself, and actually would have considered myself anti-greek, but I see benefits for her. She did not know many people at JMU before attending. I knew tons of people at my college when I went (large state school where a lot of kids from my high school went).

I will talk to her about budget (again - sigh). I suspect it's truly just bad choices. She's social and also impulsive. She's basically immature, but I also accept blame for not teaching her to be more respectful of money, especially when she did not earn it herself. Since she has food and shelter, I'm fine letting her figure this out the hard way. I am not bailing her out, but I do want to try to help her improve.

For the PP who asked what she did all summer, the main issue is that she was away visiting my DH's family overseas for more than a month, which made working other than babysitting not feasible. But it was important to us due to aging relatives. She did not work during the school year because the previous year taught us that doing so was too difficult. Call her a snowflake if you want, but it is what it is now. We've made mistakes, but no need to shame us or her.

[Anonymous]

I have a sophomore who was an athlete who had never had a HS or summer job, just some babysitting/gift type money when they left for college. They are at a state flagship in a city.

We gave $200/month for "fun money" in the debit account where we don't see the charges. Plus my kid has a credit card that I pay. It is hard to parse out because everything - prescriptions, books, toiletries, fast food, amazon orders, gas, ubers, activities, etc - is on that card, but it averaged about $1000 a month freshman year.

Kid is expected to pay for more on their own this year after having a summer job, but still gets $100 "fun money". We are paying Greek dues and essentials mentioned above, still roughly $1000 a month.