For 10-12 guests, do you do buffet style or family style passing

[Anonymous]

Buffet. No need to pass as people want more. 13 people

[Anonymous]

Sand somebody goes through first with the elders holding the plate and helping them get what they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We usually only have 6-8, but this year we’re adding some cousins and their significant others. We have a few kids and elderly folks who need help in the mix.

For a larger gathering, do you do buffet style or pass the food at the table? We can make the table big enough to fit 12 at a squeeze, but I may do 8 adults and 4 (kid/tween table).

Always do buffet. Passing around dishes at the table is so ridiculous for pretty much every reason imaginable. It's not a boomer commercial from the 1970s.

[Anonymous]

Always sit down with fancy china.

[Anonymous]

Sit down for us unless more than 12 adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Always sit down with fancy china.

Well, yes, you sit down and use nice china even when you serve the food buffet style

[Anonymous]

I strongly dislike passing even for small gatherings; it crowds the table, and people are obligated to pass more than enjoy their food. And as PP said above, it’s more noticeable if you decline a dish or only take a tiny bit of it to be polite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I strongly dislike passing even for small gatherings; it crowds the table, and people are obligated to pass more than enjoy their food. And as PP said above, it’s more noticeable if you decline a dish or only take a tiny bit of it to be polite.

Same. We only have six and passing is obnoxious. And I'm sure the poster who said nobody has manners would tell us we are doing it all wrong anyway. It used to be random passing and help the children; now it's random passing and help the elderly, pour their gravy, serve their peas, etc.

I don't know how to pass in a civilized way. I guess we need footmen.

[Anonymous]

Buffet style is fine as long as everyone comes back to sit together around the table and eat together. Buffet style where everyone just goes off and eats wherever after getting their food tends to lead to small exclusive groups eating together. Kind of defeats the purpose of getting together

[Anonymous]

With that many people, the serving dishes are too large to comfortably pass unless the hostess is having to get up and refill them. Especially for kids or older people.

With both wine and water glasses on the table, plus candles, there's also too much potential to knock something over.

[Anonymous]

Buffet. Passing is annoying and there's not enough space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buffet style is fine as long as everyone comes back to sit together around the table and eat together. Buffet style where everyone just goes off and eats wherever after getting their food tends to lead to small exclusive groups eating together. Kind of defeats the purpose of getting together

I mean, if your gathering is like 6-12 people, that’s great and you can usually make it work. If you think me hosting 30 “defeats the purpose” just because out of a 6+ hour gathering, people eat dinner in the dining room, kitchen and card tables set up in the living room and parlor, I don’t know what to tell you. I guess I should just tell half of my family—some of whom have been deployed in recent months—that we’re not inviting the full crew because eating in different rooms “defeats the purpose.”

And you know what? Six same-age cousins wanting to eat together and catch up IS an “exclusive group,” and that’s OK. Those of us who are mature and have confidence and self-awareness don’t feel threatened by a dynamic like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buffet.

Our table isn't big enough to hold all of the food.

+1

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand why anyone would do anything but buffet style for Thanksgiving. I don’t care if you have 4 or 24 people, it just makes more sense when there are so many dishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buffet style is fine as long as everyone comes back to sit together around the table and eat together. Buffet style where everyone just goes off and eats wherever after getting their food tends to lead to small exclusive groups eating together. Kind of defeats the purpose of getting together

I mean, if your gathering is like 6-12 people, that’s great and you can usually make it work. If you think me hosting 30 “defeats the purpose” just because out of a 6+ hour gathering, people eat dinner in the dining room, kitchen and card tables set up in the living room and parlor, I don’t know what to tell you. I guess I should just tell half of my family—some of whom have been deployed in recent months—that we’re not inviting the full crew because eating in different rooms “defeats the purpose.”

And you know what? Six same-age cousins wanting to eat together and catch up IS an “exclusive group,” and that’s OK. Those of us who are mature and have confidence and self-awareness don’t feel threatened by a dynamic like that.

Why do you feel so judged that you need to write multiple paragraphs about this? If you're happy, then just be happy.