How to ask siblings not to come

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Jessie would like to invite Ali for a playdate."
"Oh great, I'll drop off Ali and Callie Tuesday at 4pm."
"Sorry if I wasn't clear - Jessie was hoping to just play with Ali, and I can't entertain Callie as she's five years younger than Jessie and Ali. If we have to switch to a different day that's fine."

The situation is more they come inside with extra kids. Or I have seen people bring siblings to birthday parties. Last year, we had a strict headcount and said clearly we can’t accommodate siblings. But if it is your home, it is hard to kick people out without seeming rude.

I would rather pay for a sibling at a birthday party at a venue than host a sibling at my house for several hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Completely annoying.
My son was 10 and walked to his friends house. They came back to my house with 4 year old brother in tow! I said "why did you bring him here?" "My moms at work and my dad wants to take a nap." Hell no. I walked the 4 year old back to his house.

There is a family like this near us. It’s super sad because the older child is clearly expected to be watching the preschooler any time they are not at school and probably will not be allowed to go without him. I try not to judge because I know the family has some real challenges but I feel terrible for the oldest child. I almost wonder if it’s the same family (ages are the same).

I do think some of the “no playdate” families have a similar dynamic.

FWIW I have allowed both kids over and then entertained the little one myself.

I used to do this but the kid was terribly destructive and my younger child couldn't stand him.
This family has the same dynamic as ours (similar house, probably same modest income) where the mom and dad work opposite shifts. We've been doing this for 10 years without imposing on neighbors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is 9. Why are people still bringing siblings???? If we invite someone over for a play date, why would you think to bring siblings? You can drop off and leave. Or we invited a group of girls over for a group play date and everyone seems to expect to bring their entire families.

I don’t really want your 11yo older brother or the 4-5 year old brothers. Also don’t want the 7yo sister.

I can’t find a way to tell these people not to bring the unwanted siblings.

I have a son and he would NOT want to tag along his little sister’s play date.

Just be clear that you can't accomodate another kid.

[Anonymous]

weird and only creates issues w the siblings too
let them have their own friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is 9. Why are people still bringing siblings???? If we invite someone over for a play date, why would you think to bring siblings? You can drop off and leave. Or we invited a group of girls over for a group play date and everyone seems to expect to bring their entire families.

I don’t really want your 11yo older brother or the 4-5 year old brothers. Also don’t want the 7yo sister.

I can’t find a way to tell these people not to bring the unwanted siblings.

I have a son and he would NOT want to tag along his little sister’s play date.

Apparently, you need to be specific and say: this invitation is exclusively for Susie Q.

[Anonymous]

If it’s just one family, you need to pick up that one kid you want and get the parent to pick them up when play date is over. And obviously you only bring the one kid to your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is 9. Why are people still bringing siblings???? If we invite someone over for a play date, why would you think to bring siblings? You can drop off and leave. Or we invited a group of girls over for a group play date and everyone seems to expect to bring their entire families.

I don’t really want your 11yo older brother or the 4-5 year old brothers. Also don’t want the 7yo sister.

I can’t find a way to tell these people not to bring the unwanted siblings.

I have a son and he would NOT want to tag along his little sister’s play date.

"Siblings are not invited.". Sometimes you need to be specific so idiots get the message. If they show up do not hesitate to repeat "No siblings."

[Anonymous]

I wish more people were clear about this, either way! I have two kids very close in age (back to back school years) who are also, objectively, each other’s best friend and have lots of overlapping school friends. SO often I’ll get an invite for kid 1 to come play, and I’ll get there with just kid 1 and they’re like “oh, where’s kid 2? Was she busy?”

So frustrating because while I’m totally fine accommodating whatever the hosts want, I’d obviously prefer to bring the pair! Tell me before it’s too late!

[Anonymous]

Pet peeve of mine here. Agree with "We can only accommodate XXX"/We can't accommodate siblings" (on birthday party invitations) or - very strange if so - but in text/call if person has brought sibling(s) without asking before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it’s just one family, you need to pick up that one kid you want and get the parent to pick them up when play date is over. And obviously you only bring the one kid to your house.

This!

[Anonymous]

I agree with the pick-up method and otherwise being very clear. Speaking as the eldest who was not allowed to have playdates at home (parent with home office) and was rarely if ever allowed to go to play dates without a younger sibling in tow…know that it is horribly awkward and sucks for the older sibling.

I’d really try to be kind and gracious about the situation of you can every once in a rare while if you know that’s what is happening at home. I was horribly parentified and being able to actually socialize with peers out of school (which was a lot of silent drudgery)was a huge kindness a reprieve from after school isolation.

[Anonymous]

They is no polite way to say this. Just don’t do home play dates with them. Obv the mom can’t/doesn’t want to drop off and can’t leave the kids at home- for whatever reason.

If your child really likes theirs, just do “play dates” in common public places where it doesn’t matter if they want/need to all come: parks, museums, etc.

[Anonymous]

Just say "no siblings".