s/o Food stuff is one reason why it's easier to do holiday meals on our own

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope other relatives ask why you’re not attending, so you can say, “Unfortunately Sally will not allow us to bring our own food, and even though she tries to be careful, Rachel got sick last year, and being together isn’t worth risking another hospital visit. If only Sally would let us bring our own food, we’d love to see everyone. But I guess making all the food herself is more important than keeping Rachael out of the hospital, so maybe we can FaceTime and say hi.”

Please do not do this. If I were the relative on the receiving end of this, I would think you were totally weird and off socially, even if this were true.

Oh well.

[Anonymous]

I disagree. We have been going to a huge TG family get-together for years. It works because everyone is on the same page.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP, if you read that thread, the vast majority of people thought the poster was being weird and unreasonable about the vegetarian merely checking in about the meal. Most people would absolutely be okay with asking about the meal or bringing your own food or even checking constantly about food safety.

I’m sorry you ended up with an unreasonable relative. I like to host and welcome people to ask about allergies or dietary restrictions or even decline or bring their own food if they feel safer. That’s what a good host does. There are other people who ironically think they’re being a good host by insisting on “accommodating” you but not knowing how to do that at all— sometimes real accommodation means backing off from a guest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope that’s unique to your family because I can’t imagine being offended if you brought food for your dietary restricted daughter. In fact, I’d appreciate it because I wouldn’t want to accidentally screw up.

Thank you. We never wanted to burden anyone, and we didn't want the stress of making DD ill so we thought bringing our own food would be fine. I will say it's much easier this way because I have to cook regardless. We don't host because we have the one family member who truly has a gift and is the best cook, so everyone wants to go there and I understand. Our home is not big enough anyway to do what she does. I don't understand why she couldn't just accept us bringing our own food for DD, but it worked out for the best.

I have a grand with Celiac, her mom shops snacks and we go shopping when they visit us.
I know about 3 things I can cook her and have mom check everything.
I do would not be offended if you brought your own food. Matter of fact, I would fix the Parents an extra special treat since they had to do that.

[Anonymous]

People who “ insist” when it comes to guests trying to be polite are just rude and awkward.
If I was hosting and you wanted to bring chicken nuggets because your kid is picky I wouldn’t care. He can know hes got a safe food and can try other foods if he wants.
I wouldn’t bring food for my kid because she doesn’t have allergies and I want her to learn what other people have something. If she eats some turkey, veggies and a bread roll that’s all good with me. If she only eats mashed potato with gravy and bread that’s also ok with me.
You gotta do what works without putting other people out, as much as possible.

[Anonymous]

You are the reason I stopped hosting most of the time. Just stop telling people what food issues who has, bring something and shut up about it.

[Anonymous]

Also the host is weird too but so are you.

[Anonymous]

Bizarre. Why would she not want you to bring food that’s safe for your child to eat?

Is she (the host) controlling in other ways?

[Anonymous]

I find it easier. I make 2 dishes and a charcuterie board, everybody brings something. Everybody in my family is responsible for 1 dish. People who hate to cook bring rolls or wine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also the host is weird too but so are you.

OP is not weird. She is protecting her kid.

[Anonymous]

I think it's completely reasonable for people with weird diets to bring their own food.
Just dealt with this with my father. Kids did a boy scout pancake breakfast and he had a total fit that there was nothing for him to eat because he's "keto" and can't eat the pancakes. "I thought they would have EGGS for me. I wasted $8." I said sorry and consider it a donation to his grandkids scout troop? 8 freaking dollars to this multi millionaire . "What about my breakfast??? I'm HUNGRY"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are the reason I stopped hosting most of the time. Just stop telling people what food issues who has, bring something and shut up about it.

You have poor reading comprehension. OP clearly stated that she wants to, has, and has tried to bring her own food to keep her kid safe. For no good reason, her ego-maniac relative finds that impossible to accept, and as a result, OP’s child has gone to the HOSPITAL.

You’re a jerk. No one wants to be hosted by a jerk. Your turn to shut up.