S/o I hate cooking a turkey!

[Anonymous]

Switch to dry brining (basically just putting salt all over the turkey for 3 days).

The salt pulls the moisture out, then the turkey pulls the salty moisture back in. After three days it is perfect, and the skin cooks up crispy.

Add butter and herbs and stuff with garlic and lemon.

Delicious. People ooh and ahh over the turkey, it's really moist.

[Anonymous]

Popeye’s turkey. Trust me on this.

[Anonymous]

Spackcocking the turkey will save you the space concern. And cooking the turkey on the grill outside frees up the oven AND makes a flavorful bird.

[Anonymous]

Turkey breast, smoked by DH - no legs or wings to throw out because nobody eats them. Now that the dog is gone, I don’t want leftover turkey in my freezer for months.

[Anonymous]

No turkey, please:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1297259.page

[Anonymous]

Yeah, don’t complicate it so much. No brining. If it is a bit dry, that is what gravy is for.

[Anonymous]

Buy a kosher turkey. No need to brine.

[Anonymous]

There is never a need to wet brine. Ever. If you want to brine, dry brine.

I don’t know why people take unnecessary steps and fuss so much over a turkey. You CAN make it complicated, but it’s not actually complicated.

[Anonymous]

I just make a roast chicken. It fits in my skillet, and it takes 5 min to prep. It also tastes better than turkey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People really overcomplicate it. In the words of Tante Marie, “Just Put the F*ing Turkey in the Oven”:
https://youtu.be/foA0MGUbYH0?si=-kRF79gO0uPv8diL

350 oven, stuff it with cut up onions and some herbs and a half a lemon, rub some herbed butter on that thing, and put it in the oven. Maybe cover with a butter-soaked cheesecloth if you want to be fancy.

No, you don’t have to baste. No, you don’t have to brine. And if you do brine, for God’s sake, DRY BRINE. Do not make life complicated over a roasted turkey.

Honestly, go watch Chef John’s basic turkey video. It couldn’t be easier.

Stop fussing and put the f*ing turkey in the oven.

Even herbed butter is excessive. Just rub some canola oil on it and stick the damn thing in the oven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love to cook but I absolutely hate, hate making turkey.

It takes so much work to overcome the fact that it’s just a bad piece of meat. Dry, flavorless. So there’s the brining and the flavor injecting and basting. I have to clear out half a fridge to fit a container big enough to hold the turkey in the brine. Yes you can do a bag but the chances of the bag breaking and your entire fridge becoming a biohazard zone are too high. I seem to never be able to get the stupid thing out of the brine without splashing it all over myself. I’m left putting up caution tape while I sanitize the kitchen and then shower/wash my clothes as if I was in a nuclear reactor.

It takes up the entire oven and you have to guard oven so unhelpful people don’t open the door to look at it dropping the temp.

Once it’s done getting it out of the roasting pan is another problem. My dogs who are allowed no where near the kitchen, line up in anticipation of a time when I finally drop the huge thing.

It looks nice for five minutes. Once it’s carved..aka hacked apart by Uncle Bob, it looks like the most unappetizing carcass left behind in the woods by wild animals.

You are doing it wrong then. Takes about 5 min prep work, then into the oven.
The carving the turkey afterwards is about 20 min of work, but once it's carved up and placed in foil or containers, makes it really simple to serve up.

The brining takes longer than 5 minutes.

You are DEFINITELY doing it wrong. GROSS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People really overcomplicate it. In the words of Tante Marie, “Just Put the F*ing Turkey in the Oven”:
https://youtu.be/foA0MGUbYH0?si=-kRF79gO0uPv8diL

350 oven, stuff it with cut up onions and some herbs and a half a lemon, rub some herbed butter on that thing, and put it in the oven. Maybe cover with a butter-soaked cheesecloth if you want to be fancy.

No, you don’t have to baste. No, you don’t have to brine. And if you do brine, for God’s sake, DRY BRINE. Do not make life complicated over a roasted turkey.

Honestly, go watch Chef John’s basic turkey video. It couldn’t be easier.

Stop fussing and put the f*ing turkey in the oven.

Even herbed butter is excessive. Just rub some canola oil on it and stick the damn thing in the oven.

Industrial oil. Toxic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a good quality bird. No brining or any of the BS. Roast it on a rack in a covered roaster like granny did. Baste with a turkey baster every once in a while. Use a meat thermometer. Test for clear juices at thigh.
Don't overcook it.

Why would brining a low quality product even be an option?

Brining should not be an option. Don't overcook the bird. Mine are never dry.

Compared to alternatives, all turkey tastes dry.

You are cooking it wrong then. It's so simple.

Most people like to "play pretend" chef cooking.

People who actually know how to cook don't use recepies and don't overly complicate simple tasks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a good quality bird. No brining or any of the BS. Roast it on a rack in a covered roaster like granny did. Baste with a turkey baster every once in a while. Use a meat thermometer. Test for clear juices at thigh.
Don't overcook it.

Why would brining a low quality product even be an option?

Brining should not be an option. Don't overcook the bird. Mine are never dry.

Compared to alternatives, all turkey tastes dry.

You are cooking it wrong then. It's so simple.

Most people like to "play pretend" chef cooking.

People who actually know how to cook don't use recepies and don't overly complicate simple tasks.

agree- just rub it with salt and herbs, let it dry brine for three days, stick a lemon, head of garlic and herbs in the cavity and roast/ pit bbq/grill and get a heritage turkey that is not born from artificial insemination. cooked correctly- turkey is actually delicious. look up a Judy bird method before and see what tastes good to you. I am south asian so I put Hari mirch in sometimes for the smell and black peppercorns but that is a personal choice. will sometimes rub olive oil, sometimes butter on skin b/c getting skin crispy is a challenge for me - south asians dont generally consider the skin of poultry to be edible, its usually discarded in our cooking even with roast chicken, duck, game but I've learned to appreciate crispy chicken/turkey skin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, don’t complicate it so much. No brining. If it is a bit dry, that is what gravy is for.

Agree. We don’t brine - it’s fine and less of a headache this way.