Kindergarten girl ADHD question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With ADHD, being bored will exacerbate the behavioral problems, not help.

+1

[Anonymous]

If you plan to do traditional school you’ll need to scaffold ways for her to increase her distress tolerance and flexibility. Though incremental, we actually found OT to help with this the most, mostly I think because my kid benefited from the incredibly patient therapists and 1:1 time.

Our DC has ADHD and anxiety and K was rough. We did have an incredible school counselor though who did a social story and worked with the teacher to have a quiet/calm down space. Also, he was given a sheet and incentivized every couple hours that he stayed regulated. Fast-forward and now he’s in high school and medicated and doing 1000 times better but these are very rough years. Buckle up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She has some emotional regulation issues at home, but nothing extreme and she has some social anxiety that usually just manifests with her being extremely shy. But School seems to be the only place she becomes completely overwhelmed and displays extreme behavior issues. When we try talking about it with her she shuts down so its hard to know what is going on inside her that is triggering all this (anxiety and/or adhd).

Clearly she’s not ready for school, I would pull her and find other arrangements. And work on the emotional regulation at home, don’t use diagnoses as an excuse.

This.

[Anonymous]

Was she used to being around a lot of strangers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She has some emotional regulation issues at home, but nothing extreme and she has some social anxiety that usually just manifests with her being extremely shy. But School seems to be the only place she becomes completely overwhelmed and displays extreme behavior issues. When we try talking about it with her she shuts down so its hard to know what is going on inside her that is triggering all this (anxiety and/or adhd).

Clearly she’s not ready for school, I would pull her and find other arrangements. And work on the emotional regulation at home, don’t use diagnoses as an excuse.

Agree. Very little about kindergarten is about academics. Most people’s kids come in very capable due to the socioeconomic status of parents and the helicoptering that is so prevalent in this area.

Kindergarten is about social skills and independence- which OP’s kid is behind in. Her being in a lower math group is not causing her to be overwhelmed and act out. It may be a small part, but let’s be honest, many parents like to think their kid’s behavior will suddenly change if only “they are challenged.” OP didn’t even say the child is designated as gifted or 2E, which means her child isn’t that advanced and unlikely to be extremely bored (which is fine!! But another data point that it isn’t the overwhelming boredom of genius at play).

OP, you can certainly ask to have her moved up on a trial basis and see if the behavior improves, but I doubt it will. Your child was unsuccessful in preschool and now kindergarten, you need to accept this and find alternative accommodations if you can afford it. Give her a year to mature. - signed a teacher and parent of 2E kid (high IQ & ADHD)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She has some emotional regulation issues at home, but nothing extreme and she has some social anxiety that usually just manifests with her being extremely shy. But School seems to be the only place she becomes completely overwhelmed and displays extreme behavior issues. When we try talking about it with her she shuts down so its hard to know what is going on inside her that is triggering all this (anxiety and/or adhd).

Clearly she’s not ready for school, I would pull her and find other arrangements. And work on the emotional regulation at home, don’t use diagnoses as an excuse.

Agree. Very little about kindergarten is about academics. Most people’s kids come in very capable due to the socioeconomic status of parents and the helicoptering that is so prevalent in this area.

Kindergarten is about social skills and independence- which OP’s kid is behind in. Her being in a lower math group is not causing her to be overwhelmed and act out. It may be a small part, but let’s be honest, many parents like to think their kid’s behavior will suddenly change if only “they are challenged.” OP didn’t even say the child is designated as gifted or 2E, which means her child isn’t that advanced and unlikely to be extremely bored (which is fine!! But another data point that it isn’t the overwhelming boredom of genius at play).

OP, you can certainly ask to have her moved up on a trial basis and see if the behavior improves, but I doubt it will. Your child was unsuccessful in preschool and now kindergarten, you need to accept this and find alternative accommodations if you can afford it. Give her a year to mature. - signed a teacher and parent of 2E kid (high IQ & ADHD)

I’m really surprised that a teacher or parent of a child with ADHD would post this response. OP isn’t concerned that her dd is misbehaving because she’s bored; she’s concerned that because her dd has behavioral and attention issues, she’s receiving instruction below the appropriate level for her, which certainly isn’t going to solve any problems. She’s concerned that her dd isn’t learning new material because her dd knows more content than she is able to demonstrate. Rehashing stale lessons that this little girl already mastered will not keep her engaged. OP isn’t looking to have her dd placed in an advanced group; she’s asking about average kindergarten level instruction.

I’m not convinced there will be a miraculous turnaround in the next year, although therapy and medication could be game changers. What if this child is still emotionally dysregulated and immature next year compared to other kindergartners? How many years do you hold back a child who isn’t academically behind and doesn’t seem to have any learning disorders?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She has some emotional regulation issues at home, but nothing extreme and she has some social anxiety that usually just manifests with her being extremely shy. But School seems to be the only place she becomes completely overwhelmed and displays extreme behavior issues. When we try talking about it with her she shuts down so its hard to know what is going on inside her that is triggering all this (anxiety and/or adhd).

Clearly she’s not ready for school, I would pull her and find other arrangements. And work on the emotional regulation at home, don’t use diagnoses as an excuse.

Agree. Very little about kindergarten is about academics. Most people’s kids come in very capable due to the socioeconomic status of parents and the helicoptering that is so prevalent in this area.

Kindergarten is about social skills and independence- which OP’s kid is behind in. Her being in a lower math group is not causing her to be overwhelmed and act out. It may be a small part, but let’s be honest, many parents like to think their kid’s behavior will suddenly change if only “they are challenged.” OP didn’t even say the child is designated as gifted or 2E, which means her child isn’t that advanced and unlikely to be extremely bored (which is fine!! But another data point that it isn’t the overwhelming boredom of genius at play).

OP, you can certainly ask to have her moved up on a trial basis and see if the behavior improves, but I doubt it will. Your child was unsuccessful in preschool and now kindergarten, you need to accept this and find alternative accommodations if you can afford it. Give her a year to mature. - signed a teacher and parent of 2E kid (high IQ & ADHD)

I’m really surprised that a teacher or parent of a child with ADHD would post this response. OP isn’t concerned that her dd is misbehaving because she’s bored; she’s concerned that because her dd has behavioral and attention issues, she’s receiving instruction below the appropriate level for her, which certainly isn’t going to solve any problems. She’s concerned that her dd isn’t learning new material because her dd knows more content than she is able to demonstrate. Rehashing stale lessons that this little girl already mastered will not keep her engaged. OP isn’t looking to have her dd placed in an advanced group; she’s asking about average kindergarten level instruction.

I’m not convinced there will be a miraculous turnaround in the next year, although therapy and medication could be game changers. What if this child is still emotionally dysregulated and immature next year compared to other kindergartners? How many years do you hold back a child who isn’t academically behind and doesn’t seem to have any learning disorders?

Yes, You nailed it. Thank you for so eloquently summarizing the issue. It is not that Im trying to push her into school early or force her to be in an advanced setting. She started kindergarten at the age she was supposed to and she goes to a good school district and going private or homeschooling isnt a realistic option for us. I wish it was as easy as just pulling her out this year, but for a variety of reasons that cant happen and I dont think it would miraculously solve the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She has some emotional regulation issues at home, but nothing extreme and she has some social anxiety that usually just manifests with her being extremely shy. But School seems to be the only place she becomes completely overwhelmed and displays extreme behavior issues. When we try talking about it with her she shuts down so its hard to know what is going on inside her that is triggering all this (anxiety and/or adhd).

Clearly she’s not ready for school, I would pull her and find other arrangements. And work on the emotional regulation at home, don’t use diagnoses as an excuse.

Agree. Very little about kindergarten is about academics. Most people’s kids come in very capable due to the socioeconomic status of parents and the helicoptering that is so prevalent in this area.

Kindergarten is about social skills and independence- which OP’s kid is behind in. Her being in a lower math group is not causing her to be overwhelmed and act out. It may be a small part, but let’s be honest, many parents like to think their kid’s behavior will suddenly change if only “they are challenged.” OP didn’t even say the child is designated as gifted or 2E, which means her child isn’t that advanced and unlikely to be extremely bored (which is fine!! But another data point that it isn’t the overwhelming boredom of genius at play).

OP, you can certainly ask to have her moved up on a trial basis and see if the behavior improves, but I doubt it will. Your child was unsuccessful in preschool and now kindergarten, you need to accept this and find alternative accommodations if you can afford it. Give her a year to mature. - signed a teacher and parent of 2E kid (high IQ & ADHD)

I’m really surprised that a teacher or parent of a child with ADHD would post this response. OP isn’t concerned that her dd is misbehaving because she’s bored; she’s concerned that because her dd has behavioral and attention issues, she’s receiving instruction below the appropriate level for her, which certainly isn’t going to solve any problems. She’s concerned that her dd isn’t learning new material because her dd knows more content than she is able to demonstrate. Rehashing stale lessons that this little girl already mastered will not keep her engaged. OP isn’t looking to have her dd placed in an advanced group; she’s asking about average kindergarten level instruction.

I’m not convinced there will be a miraculous turnaround in the next year, although therapy and medication could be game changers. What if this child is still emotionally dysregulated and immature next year compared to other kindergartners? How many years do you hold back a child who isn’t academically behind and doesn’t seem to have any learning disorders?

20% of kids start kindergarten when they are six. It is a known fact that kids with ADHD are delayed by 2-3 years in maturity. So I think an extra year would be helpful. Right now, it is clear OP's child is uncomfortable/unhappy and not accessing the curriculum. Obviously, there are a number of options available. As a special needs mom, you learn that there is no one right answer and there is never a "perfect" solution.

If it were me, I would pull the child out and find alternative accommodations. However, since OP is not able to do this, she needs to circle back to the neuropsych provider and ask their thoughts. She also needs to get a psychiatrist involved. I am not a fan of medicating kids so young, though I know a few kids that were. One of my first graders, really benefited from being medicated. It was life changing for her.