Unorthodox ways to deal with people who are passive aggressive to you in group settings, but no one else notices?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My God, you're crazy.

Do not assault people whom you mistakenly believe to be mean to you. They're not. Stop it. Go see a therapist.

+1 The most important part of the post is that no one else notices. It's you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh no, their keys are missing. Oh no, their work ID is missing. Oh no, you dropped the dish they brought and now their side dish is ruined.

Wow you are f'ed up PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh no, their keys are missing. Oh no, their work ID is missing. Oh no, you dropped the dish they brought and now their side dish is ruined.

Wow you are f'ed up PP.

Everyone in my life gets punished if they don’t apologize for bad behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just say “what do you mean by that” in front of others. They will try to squirm, so dig deeper. “ I still don’t understand. Are you implying…?”

This. Or innocently ask, "Why would you say that?" Make them explain their passive-aggressive behavior to a wider audience.

Worked like a charm with someone I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh no, their keys are missing. Oh no, their work ID is missing. Oh no, you dropped the dish they brought and now their side dish is ruined.

Wow you are f'ed up PP.

Everyone in my life gets punished if they don’t apologize for bad behavior.

What?? Holy crap. Now I’m on pondering who I know that would do this…

[Anonymous]

My sister is both passive aggressive and aggressive. I just won't be alone with her at family events. If it happens, I make an excuse to leave the room. When we are in a crowded room and she tries to push I buttons I pretend I can't hear her until she shouts her rude remark. I have pretended I am getting an emergency call. I cannot engage and I just don't feel right giving it right back to her. Both she and my mother can dish it, but cannot take it and it's like poking a hornet's nest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My God, you're crazy.

Do not assault people whom you mistakenly believe to be mean to you. They're not. Stop it. Go see a therapist.

+1 The most important part of the post is that no one else notices. It's you, OP.

OP I get it and this person doesn't. They use "dog whistles." They purposely go for things they know will upset you and cannot be explained. Also, passive aggressive can easily be explained away where the person they target seems crazy and hypersensitive. The key is you stop engaging all together and don't give them the opportunity. I show no emotion. I keep conversations to things like the weather. I won't be alone with her. In my sister's case, she has a disturbing compulsion to behave this way, so when I would not give her any opportunity, she escalated, but she did then move on to targeting people at work (and getting herself fired) and targeting people in her personal life (which led to relationship explosions). In every case she is the victim and people are crazy and overreacting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine suggested you step on their foot really hard and then apologize profusely, that way they look insane if they start ranting about you, the same way you'd look insane if you started ranting about their passive-aggressive behavior.

I wouldn't do such a thing, but curious what you guys think about the effectiveness of such a move.

I have no idea what you’re on about but that suggestion is positively psychotic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If no one else notices then the problem is you.

This. What a weird premise.

[Anonymous]

I gotta admire OP for replacing passive-aggressive with just aggressive-aggressive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My God, you're crazy.

Do not assault people whom you mistakenly believe to be mean to you. They're not. Stop it. Go see a therapist.

+1 The most important part of the post is that no one else notices. It's you, OP.

OP I get it and this person doesn't. They use "dog whistles." They purposely go for things they know will upset you and cannot be explained. Also, passive aggressive can easily be explained away where the person they target seems crazy and hypersensitive. The key is you stop engaging all together and don't give them the opportunity. I show no emotion. I keep conversations to things like the weather. I won't be alone with her. In my sister's case, she has a disturbing compulsion to behave this way, so when I would not give her any opportunity, she escalated, but she did then move on to targeting people at work (and getting herself fired) and targeting people in her personal life (which led to relationship explosions). In every case she is the victim and people are crazy and overreacting.

You people are weird. This shit is ALL in your head. People don’t actually behave in the way you are imagining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My God, you're crazy.

Do not assault people whom you mistakenly believe to be mean to you. They're not. Stop it. Go see a therapist.

+1 The most important part of the post is that no one else notices. It's you, OP.

OP I get it and this person doesn't. They use "dog whistles." They purposely go for things they know will upset you and cannot be explained. Also, passive aggressive can easily be explained away where the person they target seems crazy and hypersensitive. The key is you stop engaging all together and don't give them the opportunity. I show no emotion. I keep conversations to things like the weather. I won't be alone with her. In my sister's case, she has a disturbing compulsion to behave this way, so when I would not give her any opportunity, she escalated, but she did then move on to targeting people at work (and getting herself fired) and targeting people in her personal life (which led to relationship explosions). In every case she is the victim and people are crazy and overreacting.

You people are weird. This shit is ALL in your head. People don’t actually behave in the way you are imagining.

Hello GASlighting!

[Anonymous]

You say oh bless your heart