Hosted a playdate. Kid repeatedly asked dd to open one of her new bday gifts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am more surprised about not opening a gift from prior weekend. How long does it take to open a gift?

I assume they mean take out and play with rather than just unwrapping to see what's inside.

[Anonymous]

How old are the kids? Elementary covers a wide age range. If the kid was 10 plus, yeah...it's a bit rude. If the kid was 6-8, totally normal. Nine --probably a function of the kid's maturity.

[Anonymous]

On a scale of 1-10? Like a 3. From an etiquette standpoint yes these things are rude. But kids often push boundaries and do rude things because they are still learning.

With the snacks you can keep saying no or just offering boring snacks after the 4 bags of chips or cookies and eventually the kid will learn that your house is not one that allows unlimited snacks. Our neighbor's dd would come over all the time to play and would immediately ask for a snack. Even when I knew she had come over directly after lunch and I knew her mom didn't allow her unlimited snacks at home. She just figured she could give her best shot at my house. Eventually I started offering her fruit, veggies, string cheese, etc as a 3rd or 4th snack option and she would politely decline.

With the gift again the kid was probably excited and wanted to play with it and thought there was a chance you'd give in. Is it rude? Yes. Is it a reason to bar them from ever coming over? No.

[Anonymous]

It’s not rude. Why didn’t your kid open it? Might have made for a fun activity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems normal. You, on the other hand, don't know how to manage children.

+1

+2

DCUM, I invited a kid over for a playdate with my child and he repeatedly tried to play with my child. How angry should I be??

[Anonymous]

Normal for that kid. Not normal for most kids. Only one kid I know would be that bold and clueless, but his mom usually gives heads up.

[Anonymous]

Sounds normal to me. After she asked once I would have put the gift away. Kids might be uncomfortable with new foods.

[Anonymous]

The kid is rude in my book - my kids would know that’s not socially acceptable but we are also just quieter people in general. This kid is bolder and more pushy and keeps asking to see if you’ll give in and offer cookies. You will just have to be more forceful and offer a polite “we’ve already had snacks” or choose not to invite them again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds normal to me. After she asked once I would have put the gift away. Kids might be uncomfortable with new foods.

I am getting so tired of the responses justifying all children’s bad behavior. So they ate four snacks but “might be uncomfortable with new foods”? Uh, ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds normal to me. After she asked once I would have put the gift away. Kids might be uncomfortable with new foods.

I am getting so tired of the responses justifying all children’s bad behavior. So they ate four snacks but “might be uncomfortable with new foods”? Uh, ok.

I think it's over the top to say that a kid asking if they can have chips or a cookie is rude. You are well within your rights to say "no, we're having apple slices for snack" but the kid wanting a cookie just makes them a kid who has been given a cookie at a previous playdate and had high hopes. (Or, worst case scenario, the kid was legitimately hungry and is being demonized for being excited about having access to what seemed like unlimited food, but I would hope that OP would be at least somewhat sensitive to that dynamic.)

OP, leaving out a new toy in a box during a playdate and saying that it cannot be played with is a poor choice. If you don't want to play with it, you put it away before guests come over.

[Anonymous]

So the kid wanted more food and asked your kid if they wanted to play with a new, appealing toy. I’m more surprised your kid didn’t say “sure!” honestly. I teach my kids to be gracious hosts and remind them that their friends will probably see XYZ toy and get really excited so either be prepared to play with the cool XYZ for a bit, or put it in a closet. So basically, both kids were equally rude. And you were rude for questioning why the child was asking for more food.

[Anonymous]

Depends on age

[Anonymous]

It's not about her being rude but about you shutting it down. You should have taken the gift and put it away (like in your bedroom closet) for the remainder of the playdate. When the kid kept asking for snacks you should have said "Snacktime is over; now it's time to play." If the kid said "But I'm hungry!" you should have said "You already had an apple with peanut butter, a cheese stick, pretzels and gummy snacks. That's enough for now. You can eat more after your mom picks you up."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems normal. You, on the other hand, don't know how to manage children.

That's what I thought too. Why wasn't OP taking control of the situation? They seem super passive.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the kid doesn’t have impulse control and may be adhd.