Need advice. Teen is upset his girlfriend (both are 17) posts on social media, hanging on other boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get to decide where someone else’s line is in terms of feeling they’re in a respectful relationship. He thinks the pictures are bad, he’s talked to his girlfriend about it, she continues the behavior. She has that right, and he has the right to not like it.

They’re not compatible and breaking up is the OBVIOUS solution.

+1 I'm surprised by the responses here saying his feelings aren't valid. Breaking up is a totally reasonable decision to make if he doesn't feel like he's in a secure, trusting relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they what used to be called going steady eg exclusive? If so and these are after that commitment he has a point.

No, he does not have a point. He doesn't get to control her.

He gets to feel disrespected and hurt and he gets to decide she's not for him.

[Anonymous]

He can break up with her for any reason or no reason. He can feel any way he wants. He doesn't get to tell her what to do. All of this is true regardless of how "bad" the pictures are. You, as mom, should be his sounding board as he works out his feelings. You should not give him advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get to decide where someone else’s line is in terms of feeling they’re in a respectful relationship. He thinks the pictures are bad, he’s talked to his girlfriend about it, she continues the behavior. She has that right, and he has the right to not like it.

They’re not compatible and breaking up is the OBVIOUS solution.

All day this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He can break up with her for any reason or no reason. He can feel any way he wants. He doesn't get to tell her what to do. All of this is true regardless of how "bad" the pictures are. You, as mom, should be his sounding board as he works out his feelings. You should not give him advice.

OP, i meant 'advice' for how to talk to him as a mom. Not to tell him exactly what to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get to decide where someone else’s line is in terms of feeling they’re in a respectful relationship. He thinks the pictures are bad, he’s talked to his girlfriend about it, she continues the behavior. She has that right, and he has the right to not like it.

They’re not compatible and breaking up is the OBVIOUS solution.

+1 I'm surprised by the responses here saying his feelings aren't valid. Breaking up is a totally reasonable decision to make if he doesn't feel like he's in a secure, trusting relationship.

This

[Anonymous]

He doesn't own her, but he does get to set boundries and if this is really upsetting him, he needs to break up with her. They do not have the same outlook and values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He doesn't own her, but he does get to set boundries and if this is really upsetting him, he needs to break up with her. They do not have the same outlook and values.

op, i tend to agree but he needs to figure this out. he already sort of has. he's a fairly focused and serious kid. she's a partier. nothing wrong with that, but it's not really his scene from what he tells me.

[Anonymous]

They're 17 and It's 2025.

They shouldn't be in a serious relationship.
She's having her little teenage fun, we all had around that age. It shouldn't be a big problem. If he still wants to be with her, he shouldn't make it a big deal as it is way harder now for boys to date than girls in HS and it is more uncommon to date in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He doesn't own her, but he does get to set boundries and if this is really upsetting him, he needs to break up with her. They do not have the same outlook and values.

op, i tend to agree but he needs to figure this out. he already sort of has. he's a fairly focused and serious kid. she's a partier. nothing wrong with that, but it's not really his scene from what he tells me.

Yeah, doesn't sound like they are a good match at all. But it is up to him.

[Anonymous]

Let him break up with him and send him back to the gym.
He should take a break from dating and pick better next time. He is scary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get to decide where someone else’s line is in terms of feeling they’re in a respectful relationship. He thinks the pictures are bad, he’s talked to his girlfriend about it, she continues the behavior. She has that right, and he has the right to not like it.

They’re not compatible and breaking up is the OBVIOUS solution.

This is where I would go if it were my kid.

As a young woman, I took steps to avoid my current and very reasonable boyfriend being jealous of my former boyfriends. This sounds to me like the young woman is either heedless or wants to make a strong statement about her autonomy. Either reason could be a relationship dealbreaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're 17 and It's 2025.

They shouldn't be in a serious relationship.
She's having her little teenage fun, we all had around that age. It shouldn't be a big problem. If he still wants to be with her, he shouldn't make it a big deal as it is way harder now for boys to date than girls in HS and it is more uncommon to date in general.

No way. There are plenty of girls out there who don’t casually hook up with random guys. He doesn’t get to control her but he has every right to dump her. And he should.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let him break up with him and send him back to the gym.
He should take a break from dating and pick better next time. He is scary.

i

He isn’t scary for not wanting to date someone who hooks up a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let him break up with him and send him back to the gym.
He should take a break from dating and pick better next time. He is scary.

No, he isn't. Boys can have standards and set boundaries too.