Do attractive people tend to gravitate to other attractive people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone gravitates toward attractive people and away from unattractive people.

I’m the pp directly above—actually the study I mentioned refuted this. Mid-level attractive people tend to want to befriend other mids. Less attractive people tend to hang together. It’s not just a case of everyone trying to befriend the most attractive people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone gravitates toward attractive people and away from unattractive people.

I’m the pp directly above—actually the study I mentioned refuted this. Mid-level attractive people tend to want to befriend other mids. Less attractive people tend to hang together. It’s not just a case of everyone trying to befriend the most attractive people.

I can see this being true for sure. Your attractiveness level also dictates a lot of how you experience the world -- how people treat you, what they expect of you, your dating options, for example. So people at the same level will have that in common and will feel that similarity either consciously or not.

[Anonymous]

Np, and yes, it's true. I have often said that you can determine your attractiveness by the friends in your circle. Birds of a feather do, in fact, flock together.

[Anonymous]

Same about body size. You will generally see women of similar sizes hanging out together.

Years ago, a moderately sized coworker (10/12) befriended another coworker who was likely at or near 300 pounds. The moderately sized coworker said she started gaining weight because of the heavy coworker, since hanging out involved a lot of eating out, snacking, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same about body size. You will generally see women of similar sizes hanging out together.

Years ago, a moderately sized coworker (10/12) befriended another coworker who was likely at or near 300 pounds. The moderately sized coworker said she started gaining weight because of the heavy coworker, since hanging out involved a lot of eating out, snacking, etc.

HA! Imagine that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Np, and yes, it's true. I have often said that you can determine your attractiveness by the friends in your circle. Birds of a feather do, in fact, flock together.

Not true for me. I’ve always been the more attractive person in my friend group. I’ve picked friends based more on shared hobbies and interests than anything else. Same with in dating - I almost shunned conventionally attractive guys and preferred guys where were very fit but not “handsome” per se.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just joined a 55 and over community to snowbird at. I think I was 56 and DH 59 when we bought there 2.5 years ago. We’re some of the youngest and we’re fairly attractive.
I noticed that all our good friends there are younger (like us) and attractive.
So that’s how the world works, I am thinking.

You are hanging out together so you can avoid feeling old because you chose to live in a 55+ community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Np, and yes, it's true. I have often said that you can determine your attractiveness by the friends in your circle. Birds of a feather do, in fact, flock together.

Not true for me. I’ve always been the more attractive person in my friend group. I’ve picked friends based more on shared hobbies and interests than anything else. Same with in dating - I almost shunned conventionally attractive guys and preferred guys where were very fit but not “handsome” per se.

That says loads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Np, and yes, it's true. I have often said that you can determine your attractiveness by the friends in your circle. Birds of a feather do, in fact, flock together.

Not true for me. I’ve always been the more attractive person in my friend group. I’ve picked friends based more on shared hobbies and interests than anything else. Same with in dating - I almost shunned conventionally attractive guys and preferred guys where were very fit but not “handsome” per se.

You are probably overrating your attractiveness, as most people do. I guarantee your friend groups aren't aware that you are the better looking one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Np, and yes, it's true. I have often said that you can determine your attractiveness by the friends in your circle. Birds of a feather do, in fact, flock together.

Not true for me. I’ve always been the more attractive person in my friend group. I’ve picked friends based more on shared hobbies and interests than anything else. Same with in dating - I almost shunned conventionally attractive guys and preferred guys where were very fit but not “handsome” per se.

It's very true for me. Me, my husband and maybe my 5 closest friends are all at basically the same level of attractiveness and intelligence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Define attractive

This. Honestly, I have seen so very few people in my life who I consider unattractive. Maybe they have a look I am not drawn to, but that doesn’t mean they are unattractive. Almost everyone is attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Np, and yes, it's true. I have often said that you can determine your attractiveness by the friends in your circle. Birds of a feather do, in fact, flock together.

Not true for me. I’ve always been the more attractive person in my friend group. I’ve picked friends based more on shared hobbies and interests than anything else. Same with in dating - I almost shunned conventionally attractive guys and preferred guys where were very fit but not “handsome” per se.

Who you pick as a spouse is different I think. It relates to childhood issues and your own relationship with your dad. Why would someone shun attractive guys? I get shunning losers (attractive or ugly) but shunning someone based on appearance is weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Np, and yes, it's true. I have often said that you can determine your attractiveness by the friends in your circle. Birds of a feather do, in fact, flock together.

Not true for me. I’ve always been the more attractive person in my friend group. I’ve picked friends based more on shared hobbies and interests than anything else. Same with in dating - I almost shunned conventionally attractive guys and preferred guys where were very fit but not “handsome” per se.

Who you pick as a spouse is different I think. It relates to childhood issues and your own relationship with your dad. Why would someone shun attractive guys? I get shunning losers (attractive or ugly) but shunning someone based on appearance is weird.

True. My dad is a narcissist, and I avoided men who reminded me of him, preferring men who are kind, thoughtful, willing to compromise, and not placing value on whether they have a nice face, are tall, or have great hair. But I'm very fit and active, as is my husband, men I dated when I was younger, and most of my friends, so at least that is a common thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Define attractive

This. Honestly, I have seen so very few people in my life who I consider unattractive. Maybe they have a look I am not drawn to, but that doesn’t mean they are unattractive. Almost everyone is attractive.

You haven't seen enough people.

[Anonymous]

IMO, Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, and Sabrina Carpenter are all unattractive, and they all hang out together, so I think you're onto something, OP.