Why do parents host booze-fueled parties for underage kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you drank in high school think back to the houses you drank in. At least in my personal experience it was always parents who were a mess themselves, either divorced and it was the dad trying to be cool, or parents who were drunk themselves, or parents who were always out of town or out partying.

Yep. Thinking for a minute, you are correct. Pretty much every HS party was at a house like this and the one that was always hosting had parents who were just checked out.

+1. Same. I think it’s typically not otherwise supportive, present, and responsible parents engaging in this.

As an adult I actually ran into the HS party house kid and, while he’s doing great now, we got into talking about those parties and it it was really sad hearing how it all came about. Dad was a creep, liked the kids partying at his big mansion, and actively encouraged/pushed his sons to have these big parties and let them get wild. Adult son no longer has a relationship with this parent.

This is so sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t this like the 3rd thread on this topic in a week??

Well lots of Halloween parties got busted, so its top of mind.

[Anonymous]

We allowed one at our house, but didn’t supply booze of course. I put a lot of waters and soda in the basement for them. Kids arrived with backpacks that I’m sure contained booze. Party ended at the time I requested. Nobody drove. Why did I allow this? I don’t know…why not I guess? Kids were seeking a house for a party and I said sure. It was going to happen somewhere and we have the space for it, and forgiving neighbors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We allowed one at our house, but didn’t supply booze of course. I put a lot of waters and soda in the basement for them. Kids arrived with backpacks that I’m sure contained booze. Party ended at the time I requested. Nobody drove. Why did I allow this? I don’t know…why not I guess? Kids were seeking a house for a party and I said sure. It was going to happen somewhere and we have the space for it, and forgiving neighbors.

Because it's illegal? And could land you in jail? Do you generally commit felonies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know someone who did this. Their reasoning was that their teen was going to drink anyway and since they couldn't stop them (couldn't physically stop them from leaving the house, get picked up by friends and drive to parties), they preferred to supervise themselves and make sure no one got black out drunk or drove home drunk.

I am just relieved that none of my kids insisted on breaking the rules in any way. I don't know what I would have done if one of my kids was like their kid.

Meh my goody two shoes nerdy daughter told me a lot once she was in her 20’s and she did drink in high school even though she barely attended parties. Mostly small gatherings and sleepover of 2-3 girls.

Most parents are just clueless and think not my kid. I was one of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We allowed one at our house, but didn’t supply booze of course. I put a lot of waters and soda in the basement for them. Kids arrived with backpacks that I’m sure contained booze. Party ended at the time I requested. Nobody drove. Why did I allow this? I don’t know…why not I guess? Kids were seeking a house for a party and I said sure. It was going to happen somewhere and we have the space for it, and forgiving neighbors.

I could have written this post. Same exact thing here. It’s not a regular thing but I’ll allow it on special occasions. Once maybe twice a year. It’s been fine and brought a lot of excitement to our house

[Anonymous]

I've never hosted one (I would never take on the liability) but I'm glad that other parents did. It allowed my kids to experiment with alcohol in high school while on my watch. Both had one occasion around 16 when they got completely drunk and now one at 20 has never reached that point again. She is always the designated driver. The second is headed to college this fall and we'll see what happens.

[Anonymous]

You don’t actually want to understand, you just want to judge and shame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t actually want to understand, you just want to judge and shame.

Do you expect OP to give out parent of the year awards to such people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know someone who did this. Their reasoning was that their teen was going to drink anyway and since they couldn't stop them (couldn't physically stop them from leaving the house, get picked up by friends and drive to parties), they preferred to supervise themselves and make sure no one got black out drunk or drove home drunk.

I am just relieved that none of my kids insisted on breaking the rules in any way. I don't know what I would have done if one of my kids was like their kid.

What makes a parent who can’t stop one kid from leaving and drinking, think they can stop a whole group of kids from leaving or drinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t this like the 3rd thread on this topic in a week??

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We allowed one at our house, but didn’t supply booze of course. I put a lot of waters and soda in the basement for them. Kids arrived with backpacks that I’m sure contained booze. Party ended at the time I requested. Nobody drove. Why did I allow this? I don’t know…why not I guess? Kids were seeking a house for a party and I said sure. It was going to happen somewhere and we have the space for it, and forgiving neighbors.

I could have written this post. Same exact thing here. It’s not a regular thing but I’ll allow it on special occasions. Once maybe twice a year. It’s been fine and brought a lot of excitement to our house

This is the genuine answer why people do it. They don’t see a problem with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you drank in high school think back to the houses you drank in. At least in my personal experience it was always parents who were a mess themselves, either divorced and it was the dad trying to be cool, or parents who were drunk themselves, or parents who were always out of town or out partying.

Yes this is so true our hangout house was a divorced mom who had a creepy boyfriend and I think back to some of our interactions with the boyfriend (I am female) and it’s truly mind blowing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never hosted one (I would never take on the liability) but I'm glad that other parents did. It allowed my kids to experiment with alcohol in high school while on my watch. Both had one occasion around 16 when they got completely drunk and now one at 20 has never reached that point again. She is always the designated driver. The second is headed to college this fall and we'll see what happens.

That’s not a correlation. Many other kids who get drunk at 16 develop addictions or poor relationships with alcohol use.

[Anonymous]

A girl in our community got SA by a “friend” at one such of these parties. Parents upstairs.