Fiance made a troubling comment

[Anonymous]

Red Flag .
This is exactly what he thinks of you.

Pay attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

To answer the above questions yes I am still a single mom of two kids. My kids are from a previous relationship with a man I was not married to. He proposed but I turned him down due to some concerns I had with the relationship.

My current fiance and I got engaged 3 years ago with the intent to get married however I am concerned about some behaviors and comments I am seeing from him lately.

To answer the other question even though he makes more than me no I am not financially reliant upon him. He makes about $230k annually and I make about $100k. We also purchased a house together locally as well as a condo overseas. So far that's the extent of our financial entanglements.

Had two kids by a man you didn't marry?
Engaged for three years?
Purchased a home together and not married?

Gurllllllllllllll

[Anonymous]

Yikes. Is the dad of your kids involved with them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

To answer the above questions yes I am still a single mom of two kids. My kids are from a previous relationship with a man I was not married to. He proposed but I turned him down due to some concerns I had with the relationship.

My current fiance and I got engaged 3 years ago with the intent to get married however I am concerned about some behaviors and comments I am seeing from him lately.

To answer the other question even though he makes more than me no I am not financially reliant upon him. He makes about $230k annually and I make about $100k. We also purchased a house together locally as well as a condo overseas. So far that's the extent of our financial entanglements.

You had 2 kids with a man you didn't want to marry because you had concerns about the relationship?? You bought real estate, domestic and international, with a guy you're not married to? Lady, are you wearing Bad Idea jeans?

[Anonymous]

lol.

You are not getting married.
3 year engagement? Too much going on to make to courthouse or Vegas for a wedding,

Good luck with the property sales.

[Anonymous]

I think he took you mentioning the singer breaking up because he refused to marry as you hinting around that he needs to marry you soon or youll leave. So he hit back with a hurtful comment, that, similarly, is technically about the singer's relationship but also about you.

Its probably something a lot of men feel in the same way a woman would feel an unemployed man is a worse prospect, but you shouldn't say it to someone who actually is unemployed, a single parent, or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Sorry you’re getting the hate here, OP. I’m also a single mom who has kids with a man I didn’t marry, people here have a hard time understanding not everyone follows the traditional route and that life happens.

Anyway, I would just ask him directly what he meant by it and ask if he sees you that way, as “less valuable”. I’d be very upset over this type of comment - it’s valid to not want to date a single mom, but assigning value to a person based on their children is pretty gross. There’s a lot of really great men out there and no sense in wasting your time and energy on someone who sees you as less worthy.

[Anonymous]

Your problems are bigger than this comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We do not have a wedding date. Our finances during the past 3 years of our engagement have been tied up in the condo being built over seas. We had to pay cash for it as there were no financing options available and things moved slowly in the country that we purchased in.

You don't need to spend money to get married. You can go to the court house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

To answer the above questions yes I am still a single mom of two kids. My kids are from a previous relationship with a man I was not married to. He proposed but I turned him down due to some concerns I had with the relationship.

My current fiance and I got engaged 3 years ago with the intent to get married however I am concerned about some behaviors and comments I am seeing from him lately.

To answer the other question even though he makes more than me no I am not financially reliant upon him. He makes about $230k annually and I make about $100k. We also purchased a house together locally as well as a condo overseas. So far that's the extent of our financial entanglements.

If you have been engaged for three years, what is the point of being engaged?

And why on earth did you purchase real estate with a person you are not married to?

+1

NEVER buy property with someone you are not married to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your problems are bigger than this comment.

NP.

Did you not read the OP’s posts? She was perfectly clear about this.

She was offended. OFFENDED. How do you not get that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If you have been engaged for three years, what is the point of being engaged?

And why on earth did you purchase real estate with a person you are not married to?

Op here. I think the point of engagement is to show that there is a serious intent to get married. Obviously some engagements can end without marriage.

Why not purchase real estate? Better than throwing money away on rent. If we decided to sell at least there's equity earned in the property.

You don't understand real estate. You are paying mostly interest on a mortage for the first 10 years of the loan term. If you sell within 5 years, you will almost always lose money. Dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry you’re getting the hate here, OP. I’m also a single mom who has kids with a man I didn’t marry, people here have a hard time understanding not everyone follows the traditional route and that life happens.

Anyway, I would just ask him directly what he meant by it and ask if he sees you that way, as “less valuable”. I’d be very upset over this type of comment - it’s valid to not want to date a single mom, but assigning value to a person based on their children is pretty gross. There’s a lot of really great men out there and no sense in wasting your time and energy on someone who sees you as less worthy.

I am a divorced mom with two kids. I have written the last several comments. She has made a massive mistake buying property without being married. Also, she should not marry this guy. Also, engagement for three years itself is a red flag. She will lose money on selling but she should because she should not marry this guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

To answer the above questions yes I am still a single mom of two kids. My kids are from a previous relationship with a man I was not married to. He proposed but I turned him down due to some concerns I had with the relationship.

My current fiance and I got engaged 3 years ago with the intent to get married however I am concerned about some behaviors and comments I am seeing from him lately.

To answer the other question even though he makes more than me no I am not financially reliant upon him. He makes about $230k annually and I make about $100k. We also purchased a house together locally as well as a condo overseas. So far that's the extent of our financial entanglements.

You had 2 kids with a man you didn't want to marry because you had concerns about the relationship?? You bought real estate, domestic and international, with a guy you're not married to? Lady, are you wearing Bad Idea jeans?

+1 (from a divorced mom with two kids) Not smart. Single mothers with kids are not typically this dumb.

[Anonymous]

Who is this singer? SIA?