Close friend had a party and didn't invite me. How do you deal with the hurt feelings?

[Anonymous]

Did you vote for Trump, or did she?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I am the friend in this scenario. About two years ago, I slowly started fading a longtime friend/relative. I know it hurt her, but telling her why would hurt her even more. Simply put, I had outgrown her, but more specifically, I don't respect her or her choices. I find her integrity and morals to be low. I feel like I made the right choice by not explaining.

Sometimes, just accepting something and moving on is best. I do agree that it sucks that she stole your friends.

You should explain this to her. It's awful of you to just ghost her. You're just as bad.

Not that PP, but if the judgement is that morals and integrity are low, I don't think having a conversation about it is going to fix anything.

I think it's more cruel to state the reason.

I had a guy friend break up with a girl because her lady part smelled bad. He told her, and it crushed her. Some things are better left unsaid. You think being ghosted was cruel, but if you actually knew the real reason, you'd understand that being ghosted is an act of kindness in some cases.

[Anonymous]

Just let it go. Dont make the bad situation any worse.

[Anonymous]

Sorry they hurt you but drop the rope.

[Anonymous]

That's awful. There's no good reason why. I would start distancing myself and avoid getting together or talking. Just be indifferent but polite. Keep up your other mutual friendships if you can but I'd be wary of this person from now on. It hurts and you just have to sit with it for a while.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry. This happened to me once, and it still bothers me even though it was like 5 years ago. I'd had a bit of a tiff with someone else who was invited and that was why I wasn't -- could it be something like that?

[Anonymous]

I would have a conversation with her, but not in a way that catches her off-guard. Or maybe even ask by text. I would want to know if I did anything to upset her, on the chance that there's a misunderstanding that you can work through.

If that doesn't work, I'd move on.

This happened to me once. I saw on social media that a friend had a party to which I wasn't invited. I didn't mention the party but asked if I did anything to upset or offend her. She said no. But clearly something had changed, so I never reached out to her again. She faded from reaching out to me, too.

In hindsight, I realized that I had held back in the friendship myself. I didn't confide in her because she was indiscreet. Maybe this bothered her, but we never talked about it.

[Anonymous]

Did you ask the friend how many people were at the party. Trying to figure out if it was 2 couples or a big bash?

[Anonymous]

I would cut her off. Don’t speak to her again. She showed you how she feels. Sorry that happened.

[Anonymous]

Wait, could there have been a mistake with the invite? And the conversation a few days ago was her feeling you out to see if you were coming?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This friend spoke to me a few days ago and was on the phone for a long time but never mentioned anything about it. This morning I get a text from another friend asking me why I wasn't at her party yesterday.

Apparently it was to celebrate a milestone in their family and some friends whom I introduced to her were invited.

I feel so hurt and not sure where to go from here. The friends I introduced and her were getting closer lately but to shut me out makes me sad. I feel like I have lost the friends I introduced and her all in one go.

Sorry Op. That stinks. Sorry. I would not say anything. See what happens if she has any holiday gatherings etc... Better yet maybe you host a dinner or mom's night and just be inclusive and invite them all. Less said is better.

[Anonymous]

I accidentally omitted someone from a party and it was a complete oversight. Luckily someone asked me about it beforehand and I was able to invite and apologize for the oversight. I’m sorry that happened to you, OP. I hope it was an accident. But it’s also possible she wanted the chance to get to know these people better without the intermediary there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I am the friend in this scenario. About two years ago, I slowly started fading a longtime friend/relative. I know it hurt her, but telling her why would hurt her even more. Simply put, I had outgrown her, but more specifically, I don't respect her or her choices. I find her integrity and morals to be low. I feel like I made the right choice by not explaining.

Sometimes, just accepting something and moving on is best. I do agree that it sucks that she stole your friends.

You should explain this to her. It's awful of you to just ghost her. You're just as bad.

Not that PP, but if the judgement is that morals and integrity are low, I don't think having a conversation about it is going to fix anything.

I think it's more cruel to state the reason.

I had a guy friend break up with a girl because her lady part smelled bad. He told her, and it crushed her. Some things are better left unsaid. You think being ghosted was cruel, but if you actually knew the real reason, you'd understand that being ghosted is an act of kindness in some cases.

Obviously it was better for her to know so she can fix it.

[Anonymous]

I would invite her to lunch or coffee and ask if her if we were ok.

[Anonymous]

OP - Im sorry, some people suck. IMO she’s probably some sort of social climber/status seeker OR she legitimately thought she invited you maybe? But if it wasn’t an oversight and she talked to you on the phone like that then she’s not worth your time. And honestly what would a conversation do? I wouldn’t be able to trust her again unfortunately.

I had a similar-ish situation that a best friend of mine that I stood by through all sorts of things left me out of an Easter friends gathering. This is months after she asked me/I was her child’s Godmother in the Catholic bc assume she had no one else to ask. She had more ‘important’ fancier (wealthier, connected) friends come along and I no longer made the cut. It was also very clear she has no loyalty. I chose not to say anything because her message was clear and nothing I was going to say would change what she did and nothing she was going to say would me be feel like she could be a true friend or ever was a true friend.

It’s a grieving process