Contested divorce - fake post nup

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am going through a very contested divorce in fairfax county where my husband has come up with a fake post-nup agreement. I've never seen it, let alone signed it. We had a hearing in Oct which has been continued for Jan (his lawyer was sick); lots of evidence including handwriting experts, IT forensics, alibi witnesses etc. We have a strong case and have lots of evidence that this is a fake document. After Jan, we have a child custody hearing in Feb. Since separation, kids have lived with me in Arlington (moved here post separation) from Mclean/Vienna area. Husband sold our marital home behind my back last December when the kids and myself were abroad visiting my family. Kids are with my on weekdays and go to Dad Friday evening-Sunday morning. I want to keep this schedule and he has never asked for more time, kids have adjusted well. Both kids attended schools in Arlington.

He is asking for 50/50. Is he going to get it? He will have to come from Vienna every day for drop offs/pick up during rush hours. I have a fulltime nanny so for me its not been an issue; plus my mother lives with me. How can I get him to settle outside of court? He has a bulldog attorney who loves to litigate and forces me to bleed money....I'm so tired and want this litigation to just end and settle.

50/50 is standard/default - what is your argument against it as it relates to the kids? I don't know that him being a scumbag to you is going to be enough.

I think you need to play the long game here. I'm not sure fighting over 50/50 is part of that unless your attorney thinks you have the upper hand on that front. Seems like it just gives him an opening to demand a concession on another front. From the little bit you told us I'd focus my energy at this point on getting the best financial deal for you and for the kids' future (education) and getting the money locked down.

50/50 also doesn’t need to be split every week. Many people do 50/50 by providing 1 parent with more time while the kids are out of school and the other parents has their custody time while the kids are in school.

[Anonymous]

Yes he’s going to get 50/50 but usually dads do a “call in sick” type routine where they don’t really follow through. Document it carefully then ask for a modification later.

I’m sorry you’re tired but this is an endurance sport.

[Anonymous]

This is insane. Wouldn't a post-nap need to be filed with his attorney's office and also your attorney's office? I don't understand how it would go all the way to needing handwriting experts to disprove it. Your ex is a psycho.

You need aggressive legal representation. If you don't feel you have that, look at the contract you signed with your retainer and see what the process is to dismiss your attorney. Or at the very least, schedule 2-3 consults with other attorneys just to get a different perspective on how to approach the situation.

I think there is more here than you have time to explain but I don't think 50/50 being the default is a concern. If the father of children is selling the family home out from under them, that isn't just a financial issue between adult parents but a serious parenting issue and a good attorney would raise it as a concern that your DH isn't prioritizing the children's best interests. I didn't see what state you're in but I think you're dealing with someone who could be mentally unstable and a parenting evaluation by a private evaluator (NOT a court-ordered evaluation) is something that your attorney should suggest to his. I'm guessing your DH is arrogant and crazy enough to agree to it but that it will reveal a lot of helpful information for custody arrangements. It would be work the $10-15k if you are willing to pay for it but it's possible he would pay for it if he's as crazy as what I'm reading between the lines.

[Anonymous]

It’s hard for me to believe that a judge, presented with a forged pre-nup in court (which is a crime) is going to want to give 50/50 to the forger, but OFC, ask your attorney.

FWIW, my exDH wanted 50/50 for appearance’s sake. He never actually took 50/50. Sad for the kids in the beginning, but as they grew older, they realized that it was better that they not live with him and their visitation diminished over the years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was not on the deed, house was in his name only but purchased during our marriage, so still a marital asset.

You were way too trusting.

I hope married women learn from your experience .

(Was he ever a nice man, with integrity?)

[Anonymous]

He bought the house behind my back as well when I was out of the country. It was a pattern that kept repeating itself over the years and then I finally left him when he sold our house. No, he was never a man of integrity and incapable of loving me or the kids. I think he is psychotic in addition to being extremely selfish and self centered and no amount of therapy could have changed him, it’s his way or the highway. Glad to have left him and hoping the divorce can finalize soon, though doesn’t seem like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is insane. Wouldn't a post-nap need to be filed with his attorney's office and also your attorney's office? I don't understand how it would go all the way to needing handwriting experts to disprove it. Your ex is a psycho.

You need aggressive legal representation. If you don't feel you have that, look at the contract you signed with your retainer and see what the process is to dismiss your attorney. Or at the very least, schedule 2-3 consults with other attorneys just to get a different perspective on how to approach the situation.

I think there is more here than you have time to explain but I don't think 50/50 being the default is a concern. If the father of children is selling the family home out from under them, that isn't just a financial issue between adult parents but a serious parenting issue and a good attorney would raise it as a concern that your DH isn't prioritizing the children's best interests. I didn't see what state you're in but I think you're dealing with someone who could be mentally unstable and a parenting evaluation by a private evaluator (NOT a court-ordered evaluation) is something that your attorney should suggest to his. I'm guessing your DH is arrogant and crazy enough to agree to it but that it will reveal a lot of helpful information for custody arrangements. It would be work the $10-15k if you are willing to pay for it but it's possible he would pay for it if he's as crazy as what I'm reading between the lines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes he’s going to get 50/50 but usually dads do a “call in sick” type routine where they don’t really follow through. Document it carefully then ask for a modification later.

I’m sorry you’re tired but this is an endurance sport.

I know 4 dads with 50/50 and all of them use all their custody time. After school pick up is at least 50% dads at my kids school. I keep seeing on here that people don't know any involved dads who want to see their kids but that isn't at all what I see in real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes he’s going to get 50/50 but usually dads do a “call in sick” type routine where they don’t really follow through. Document it carefully then ask for a modification later.

I’m sorry you’re tired but this is an endurance sport.

I know 4 dads with 50/50 and all of them use all their custody time. After school pick up is at least 50% dads at my kids school. I keep seeing on here that people don't know any involved dads who want to see their kids but that isn't at all what I see in real life.

Same. It’s a very 1980s view of parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes he’s going to get 50/50 but usually dads do a “call in sick” type routine where they don’t really follow through. Document it carefully then ask for a modification later.

I’m sorry you’re tired but this is an endurance sport.

I know 4 dads with 50/50 and all of them use all their custody time. After school pick up is at least 50% dads at my kids school. I keep seeing on here that people don't know any involved dads who want to see their kids but that isn't at all what I see in real life.

I'm curious what age range the involved dads are? Maybe this is a generational shift? I know my kids' dad doesn't show up at all for his 50/50, but I think (hope) my son will be a more involved Dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes he’s going to get 50/50 but usually dads do a “call in sick” type routine where they don’t really follow through. Document it carefully then ask for a modification later.

I’m sorry you’re tired but this is an endurance sport.

I know 4 dads with 50/50 and all of them use all their custody time. After school pick up is at least 50% dads at my kids school. I keep seeing on here that people don't know any involved dads who want to see their kids but that isn't at all what I see in real life.

I'm curious what age range the involved dads are? Maybe this is a generational shift? I know my kids' dad doesn't show up at all for his 50/50, but I think (hope) my son will be a more involved Dad.

It might be regional. I live in the DC area and have dated lots of divorce men. The vast majority of them had fifty fifty and yes they kept the kids fifty fifty. That also meshes with what I see from my female friends who are divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was not on the deed, house was in his name only but purchased during our marriage, so still a marital asset.

You were way too trusting.

I hope married women learn from your experience .

(Was he ever a nice man, with integrity?)

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was not on the deed, house was in his name only but purchased during our marriage, so still a marital asset.

You were way too trusting.

I hope married women learn from your experience .

(Was he ever a nice man, with integrity?)

This

OP answered the question. Why are you still browbeatiing her about it?

NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am going through a very contested divorce in fairfax county where my husband has come up with a fake post-nup agreement. I've never seen it, let alone signed it. We had a hearing in Oct which has been continued for Jan (his lawyer was sick); lots of evidence including handwriting experts, IT forensics, alibi witnesses etc. We have a strong case and have lots of evidence that this is a fake document. After Jan, we have a child custody hearing in Feb. Since separation, kids have lived with me in Arlington (moved here post separation) from Mclean/Vienna area. Husband sold our marital home behind my back last December when the kids and myself were abroad visiting my family. Kids are with my on weekdays and go to Dad Friday evening-Sunday morning. I want to keep this schedule and he has never asked for more time, kids have adjusted well. Both kids attended schools in Arlington.

He is asking for 50/50. Is he going to get it? He will have to come from Vienna every day for drop offs/pick up during rush hours. I have a fulltime nanny so for me its not been an issue; plus my mother lives with me. How can I get him to settle outside of court? He has a bulldog attorney who loves to litigate and forces me to bleed money....I'm so tired and want this litigation to just end and settle.

50/50 of earned income (both yours and his) is fair unless you are a gold digger.

Only rotten people try to steal from others.

[Anonymous]

PP - you should work on your reading comprehension

OP - I am in a similar situation to you. I think my ex is going for 50-50 on the custody for child support reasons and because he knows that matters a lot to me. But during our current separation, he has maybe 10% custody so I know that he is not actually going to take his time. And I suspect he will rapidly lose interest if he is even participating fully at the beginning…. My lawyer is discouraging me from fighting about it because my kids are preaching the age where they can have input, and he does not want the custody to distract from our many financial disputes. I suspect you are in a similar situation.