Giving kids a down payment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:we set up brokerage accounts for our kids many years ago. each of three kids have about 300k right now. they can use it anyway they want. we are not giving any more or paying for their wedding. we are done

Our two have similar balances but we've told them it's for a downpayment. We'll contribute to weddings when the time comes, hopefully in the next 5-10 years. Otherwise, we are done with direct contributions. We plan to take them along on family vacations as long as they'll go with us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we set up brokerage accounts for our kids many years ago. each of three kids have about 300k right now. they can use it anyway they want. we are not giving any more or paying for their wedding. we are done

Our two have similar balances but we've told them it's for a downpayment. We'll contribute to weddings when the time comes, hopefully in the next 5-10 years. Otherwise, we are done with direct contributions. We plan to take them along on family vacations as long as they'll go with us.

pp you are responding to. your approach is similar to our approach. not paying for wedding is not money issue for us. we want them to be able to pay for themselves - "if you can't pay for your own wedding, you are not ready to get married" is our message. we stopped funding their accounts but rethinking whether we should restart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we set up brokerage accounts for our kids many years ago. each of three kids have about 300k right now. they can use it anyway they want. we are not giving any more or paying for their wedding. we are done

Our two have similar balances but we've told them it's for a downpayment. We'll contribute to weddings when the time comes, hopefully in the next 5-10 years. Otherwise, we are done with direct contributions. We plan to take them along on family vacations as long as they'll go with us.

pp you are responding to. your approach is similar to our approach. not paying for wedding is not money issue for us. we want them to be able to pay for themselves - "if you can't pay for your own wedding, you are not ready to get married" is our message. we stopped funding their accounts but rethinking whether we should restart.

This is very odd to me but to each their own I guess.

[Anonymous]

My in-laws gave us $30k for a down payment in 2010 for a $400k house. We used some of our own savings and put down 5%. We sold the house 9 years later for $300k more and used that money towards a new house (different area so new house was cheaper than the one we sold) and put the rest in 529s.

If you can help in any way, it would be wonderful. That gift from my in-laws has really helped us get ahead.

[Anonymous]

This is a stupid question. Do whatever you want with the money you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This board is insane sometimes. Idk a single person whose parents helped them buy a house

really?

Im in my 40s- live in DC and I dont know a single person who bought a house without some family help, either living rent free with the parents for a few years, a loan, , shared equity in the home, or just a gift from either parents or wealthy siblings who gave a loan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People here really love to humble brag about their wealth. Tone deaf, especially when so many people are struggling right now.

What an idiotic comment. Are you seriously saying bc someone can’t ask a question relevant to their situation bc others are worse off? A rising tide lifts all boats - the more successful I am, the more people I employ, taxes I pay, donate, etc. If a gift of a down payment can help someone get on the property ladder and move up, why not? OP, talk to your estate planner or wealth manager bc we were specifically given an amount we can “give” to each child annually w/o tax consequences. Each child has an account that is set up tax efficiently and will eventually be used for a down payment.

This---It's currently 19K/year. But you each give your kid that, and also each gift their SO/Spouse the same, and same for once they have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we set up brokerage accounts for our kids many years ago. each of three kids have about 300k right now. they can use it anyway they want. we are not giving any more or paying for their wedding. we are done

Our two have similar balances but we've told them it's for a downpayment. We'll contribute to weddings when the time comes, hopefully in the next 5-10 years. Otherwise, we are done with direct contributions. We plan to take them along on family vacations as long as they'll go with us.

pp you are responding to. your approach is similar to our approach. not paying for wedding is not money issue for us. we want them to be able to pay for themselves - "if you can't pay for your own wedding, you are not ready to get married" is our message. we stopped funding their accounts but rethinking whether we should restart.

This is very odd to me but to each their own I guess.

Yup! We are doing all of the above plus paying for wedding for each kid (when time comes). we can afford it, why wouldn't we? Then again, our kids will not go crazy with a wedding

[Anonymous]

We're hoping to be able to do this for one child because we paid for grad school for the other. The problem is that one of us has a diagnosis that typically leads to very expensive long-term care. So we're not at all sure we can be handing over six figures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're hoping to be able to do this for one child because we paid for grad school for the other. The problem is that one of us has a diagnosis that typically leads to very expensive long-term care. So we're not at all sure we can be handing over six figures.

You shouldn't---you should be saving/focused on your LTC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're hoping to be able to do this for one child because we paid for grad school for the other. The problem is that one of us has a diagnosis that typically leads to very expensive long-term care. So we're not at all sure we can be handing over six figures.

You shouldn't---you should be saving/focused on your LTC

We know. We have several million dollars, though, and the other person has LTC insurance. So even if the one of us with the chronic conditions depletes a couple million in care costs, we'll still have a couple left plus the LTC for the other partner. Believe me, it won't be handed over unless we can handle it. Just food for thought for others who may not have considered a surprise diagnosis at this time of life.

[Anonymous]

Only if and when it fits into bigger financial plan for them and I guess for me too. Right now it doesn't, because renting is cheaper.
If he wants to kill money in real estate, he can do that with his own money, not mine.
This need to buy a home will not come from my boys any time soon. It may come from family members, partners, and other well-meaning people who don't know our whole financial picture and goals. Nothing that math and little common sense can't fix.
Younger kid is getting an inheritance at 18. We are letting it grow for decades. Home equity is not the place for it, but as it's not my money, who knows what he will do.
At 18, both are already set to do well on their own. They'd be a little confused why the $100k suddenly which should be in the market as part of family money.

[Anonymous]

I hope we can but I also want to pay for graduate school. You pay directly vs giving it to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This board is insane sometimes. Idk a single person whose parents helped them buy a house

really?

Im in my 40s- live in DC and I dont know a single person who bought a house without some family help, either living rent free with the parents for a few years, a loan, , shared equity in the home, or just a gift from either parents or wealthy siblings who gave a loan.

Similar except early 30s in Arlington. We are the only ones who bought without family help and I guess we even got help cause we used the $25K we got for a wedding on our closing costs (since you can’t really have a proper wedding for $25K in this area unless you do it in your backyard or a public park).

[Anonymous]

We plan to do this for our kids but will be in a trust, their spouse can't claim rights to these funds, I like to thing positive of everyone but life is complicated and harsh so I got to protect my kid first. So, if you want to give then make sure your kid has the exclusive rights to this money.