What private schools have the best cultures for parents becoming friends?

[Anonymous]

Any of them with an elementary school. That's where/when the connections happen.

By middle school, parents have their people and are tired of spending tons of time at school volunteering. And forget about HS.

[Anonymous]

Relatively small religious school that starts in elementary will have people who have known each other a long time, naturally socialize, and are used to socializing with each other. I think this actually does help expand outwards towards people who are new to the community, because it offers more of a community for them to join in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Why can’t you focus on making friends outside of your child’s school? Real friends.

It’s best to think of parents as your child’s school the same way you would treat coworkers at your job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It really depends on the grade and the parents. In our DC's class, there are 2-3 moms who have been absolutely amazing. They are the ones who always take initiative to plan fun get togethers for the parents and have been very inclusive. I truly don't feel they have any ulterior motives except just being genuinely nice people who are very social. You need a couple of those in your child's grade to have a tight knit community.

+100

Very grade specific at any school. You will feel disconnected or like an outsider at even the most “tight-knit community” schools, if the parents in your child’s grade are not friendly, inclusive, and proactive at building relationships. The parent dynamic in a grade, good or bad, can make or break the experience overall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really depends on the grade and the parents. In our DC's class, there are 2-3 moms who have been absolutely amazing. They are the ones who always take initiative to plan fun get togethers for the parents and have been very inclusive. I truly don't feel they have any ulterior motives except just being genuinely nice people who are very social. You need a couple of those in your child's grade to have a tight knit community.

+100

Very grade specific at any school. You will feel disconnected or like an outsider at even the most “tight-knit community” schools, if the parents in your child’s grade are not friendly, inclusive, and proactive at building relationships. The parent dynamic in a grade, good or bad, can make or break the experience overall.

Problem is the grade can change drastically. We had a great grade at St. Albans then they admitted a bunch of exclusive parents that ruined the grade. Entire grade changed within a year or two - two entry grades.

[Anonymous]

I would look at their school calendars and consider which events your family would attend as that is a great way to make friends. I had kids at 2 different schools and GDS has way more events for parents than the other school so it's been easier to meet and make friends with other parents.

[Anonymous]

If you’re interested in Catholic schools, there’s definitely a lot of family and parent events that make it easy to make friends. Small schools mean you get to know everyone’s parents. We have made several good friends through our kids’ K-8 Catholic school and feel like we have a real community there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t you focus on making friends outside of your child’s school? Real friends.

It’s best to think of parents as your child’s school the same way you would treat coworkers at your job.

I'm friendly with my co-workers. They aren't strangers to me.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on what activities your kids do. Mine was a standout athlete at Holton + recruited for 2 different D1 sports
( had to choose one). The sport parents were very nice for the most part.

[Anonymous]

This is a really important consideration. There are SO many school events not to mention birthday parties and class sports leagues. It would be miserable to be with a cold or stuck up community. We actually turned down a school because of this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
We're absolutely prioritizing the best fit for our kiddos. So please don't worry about that.

But many schools would seem to fit the bill. So now, we're looking for the best place for our family.

Anybody who refers to their children as kiddos and also cares enough about making friends with other parents to post this is doubly pathetic and no one will want to be your friend so you’re going to have to look really hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re interested in Catholic schools, there’s definitely a lot of family and parent events that make it easy to make friends. Small schools mean you get to know everyone’s parents. We have made several good friends through our kids’ K-8 Catholic school and feel like we have a real community there.

+1. I attended Catholic schools from elementary through college and my oldest is at a Catholic high school. In general, I think Catholic schools do a great job of fostering a sense of community. There are a lot of events for parents, opportunities to get involved, etc. Small k-8s generally do an excellent job of this, but I’ve also found it to be the case even at the HS level. I also found a good sense of community at my kids’ small (not Catholic) elementary that had a lot of family events, where kids played on the same rec teams and participated in after school activities, etc. So, those are the kinds of things I would look for, OP. A good sense of community and opportunities to meet other parents generally leads to making friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re interested in Catholic schools, there’s definitely a lot of family and parent events that make it easy to make friends. Small schools mean you get to know everyone’s parents. We have made several good friends through our kids’ K-8 Catholic school and feel like we have a real community there.

+1. I attended Catholic schools from elementary through college and my oldest is at a Catholic high school. In general, I think Catholic schools do a great job of fostering a sense of community. There are a lot of events for parents, opportunities to get involved, etc. Small k-8s generally do an excellent job of this, but I’ve also found it to be the case even at the HS level. I also found a good sense of community at my kids’ small (not Catholic) elementary that had a lot of family events, where kids played on the same rec teams and participated in after school activities, etc. So, those are the kinds of things I would look for, OP. A good sense of community and opportunities to meet other parents generally leads to making friends.

+2. We love our Catholic K-8. It truly feels like an extended family where everyone looks out for and takes care of one other. The school and parish hold fun events for parents and kids throughout the year and the families are involved and inclusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t you focus on making friends outside of your child’s school? Real friends.

It’s best to think of parents as your child’s school the same way you would treat coworkers at your job.

I am sorry there is nothing wrong in looking for friends. It isn't social climbing you are looking for a community for your child. It really does help if you end up liking the parents and becoming friends. In the long run it helps if your child is feeling excluded or doesn't have a friend group, if you have parent friends, you can always reach out to them to have them included.

[Anonymous]

OP here: Thank you to the prior poster.

We live in a neighborhood where most parents send their kids to 15+ different private schools, so many of the kids’ neighborhood friends peter out (it seems) by MS.

Wouldn’t it be nice to find a school where parent friendships are common and whose family friendships help keep the families in touch after the children graduate?

Please recommend those schools! Not looking for cliquey schools.