Do you and DH / DW ever yell at each other?

[Anonymous]

So I am going to post a real answer, because no way all these married couples have not yelled at each other. We have been married 26 years, have two kids, and yes we have yelled at each other -- never name calling, never anything cruel or that can't be unsaid, but we have definitely raised our voices and expressed anger or frustration.

I am GenX and find it surprising that so many people are so upset by yelling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I am going to post a real answer, because no way all these married couples have not yelled at each other. We have been married 26 years, have two kids, and yes we have yelled at each other -- never name calling, never anything cruel or that can't be unsaid, but we have definitely raised our voices and expressed anger or frustration.

I am GenX and find it surprising that so many people are so upset by yelling.

I am GenX too and my emotions about yelling are a trauma response from childhood. I shut down completely. My mom yelled at my dad and us kids a lot. I married a very even tempered man and am weirdly even tempered myself. I always get pulled out to deal with the irate clients because I am so soothing but that doesn’t really help my personal PTSD. I also always carry a knife. Speak softly and carry a big stick….

[Anonymous]

We've been married 13 years, together 16. We've never yelled or called each other names. We both grew up in households that yelled. Parents that yelled at each other and parents that yelled at us. DH and I both never wanted to be like that and worked hard (before we met) on emotional regulation and communication.

[Anonymous]

All the time. I find it strange when couples can't work up enough emotion to fight every now and then. It's like you're sleepwalking through life.

[Anonymous]

Boomer. I yell at DH. He never raises his voice just lectures me verrry slowly. Drives me nuts. I prefer yelling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the time. I find it strange when couples can't work up enough emotion to fight every now and then. It's like you're sleepwalking through life.

You can have disagreements without yelling. You can be mad at each other without yelling.

[Anonymous]

Wife yells, I don't engage with that BS. Rinse and repeat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I am going to post a real answer, because no way all these married couples have not yelled at each other. We have been married 26 years, have two kids, and yes we have yelled at each other -- never name calling, never anything cruel or that can't be unsaid, but we have definitely raised our voices and expressed anger or frustration.

I am GenX and find it surprising that so many people are so upset by yelling.

I am GenX too and my emotions about yelling are a trauma response from childhood. I shut down completely. My mom yelled at my dad and us kids a lot. I married a very even tempered man and am weirdly even tempered myself. I always get pulled out to deal with the irate clients because I am so soothing but that doesn’t really help my personal PTSD. I also always carry a knife. Speak softly and carry a big stick….

Haha this was an unexpected drop. It’s always the quiet ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I am going to post a real answer, because no way all these married couples have not yelled at each other. We have been married 26 years, have two kids, and yes we have yelled at each other -- never name calling, never anything cruel or that can't be unsaid, but we have definitely raised our voices and expressed anger or frustration.

I am GenX and find it surprising that so many people are so upset by yelling.

Many of us are able to express frustration and disagree without yelling. I don't yell at my boss, I don't yell at my employees, I don't yell at the cashier, I don't yell at other drivers, I don't yell at the kids, I don't yell at my parents, I don't yell at my friends, and I don't yell at my spouse. I do get annoyed, irritated, frustrated, etc but I deal with those emotions without yelling. Just like I don't hit people when in a negative mood, yet other people do. Just because some of us don't yell at people when upset doesn't mean we don't have emotions, our reactions and ways of expressing ourselves are just less aggressive and more regulated than someone who yells when they get irrirated or frustrated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the time. I find it strange when couples can't work up enough emotion to fight every now and then. It's like you're sleepwalking through life.

We are certainly not sleepwalking thru life. It's just that, for us, yelling doesn't add anything to our lives. If fighting is what gets you thru your life and how you show your love, more power to you, I suppose.

[Anonymous]

We have disagreements/fights, but never, ever yelling. If he yelled at me I think I'd leave. If I yelled at him I'd think someone drugged me. That's a scary manifestation of anger management issues in my mind.

Married 17 years with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wife yells, I don't engage with that BS. Rinse and repeat.

the “rinse and repeat” thing needs to stop

[Anonymous]

He’s yelled at me.

[Anonymous]

Maybe like once or twice in 20+ years.

[Anonymous]

Over 33 years we’ve never yelled at each other. I’m sure we’ve been close!