Heading towards his first "B"

[Anonymous]

This is a weird post. Why are you so vested in your kid getting all As. And then you say your kid won’t even be applying to the top 50 schools. Do you seriously have nothing else to worry about?

[Anonymous]

This B could be the making of your son. He's stretching himself to learn a new skill set. He's learning that some skills take longer than one semester to learn, but the effort is worth it. You're doing the right thing to keep quiet. Don't break.

[Anonymous]

The line “it hurts me” makes me want to barf.

No, OP, it doesn’t. It’s actually not about you.

[Anonymous]

I feel you OP, my son may also be heading for a B in Spanish 4, as a freshman, his last B being in Spanish 1, in 6th grade... I know that PP say it's OK, but honestly, it's easy to get the impression that everyone gets all As, or at least that you need all As to get into a good school by reading this forum... there is at least 1 thread where a parent wants to move their kid out of Spanish 4 because they're getting a B, and a lot of posters kind of imply this is a normal reaction (so you can only continue with foreign languages if you get an A at each level?)
And yes, I also spend way too much time worrying about this and if it means my son won't be able get into UMCP for science or engineering despite having all As for everything else and routinely scoring above 99th percentile on MAP -M....

[Anonymous]

It’s October. The kids have been in school for a month. You have no idea what his final grade will be. Maybe this is the class that teaches him how to work for a grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah I know. It's okay. Land the helicopter. To him, I've only said encouraging comments--great job; I love to see how hard you're working; As long as you do your best, that's all that matters.

It's killing me though. I know it's the grade he deserves. It's AP Seminar and for my math loving science kid, this a new skill set, and one he can't power through. I also recognize that of all his classes, this is the most valuable at the moment. BC Calc is a breeze and chem isn't challenging nor is APES. He's not a humanities kid so he takes honors level English and History and won't go near the AP classes in these subjects. This is his first real writing class. He's leaning towards physics and says he wants his Phd--AP Seminar and AP Research are the classes that are going to give him those skills.

I will never share my thoughts with him but I had hopes that he would get through HS with straight As. I also realize that one or two Bs won't be the end and he won't be applying to T50 schools. So I suppose in the end it doesn't matter. But it hurts me.

As a former perfectionist, be grateful that he’s going to get the opportunity to not be “perfect”. Straight As for the sake of straight As is not an actual achievement that really matters. But it can become a problem with avoiding risk in the future and being overly stressed/anxious to the detriment of other things. If you haven’t been communicating that what is most important is challenging yourself, working hard and effectively, and adapting when things turn out differently than expected, now is your opportunity to adapt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel you OP, my son may also be heading for a B in Spanish 4, as a freshman, his last B being in Spanish 1, in 6th grade... I know that PP say it's OK, but honestly, it's easy to get the impression that everyone gets all As, or at least that you need all As to get into a good school by reading this forum... there is at least 1 thread where a parent wants to move their kid out of Spanish 4 because they're getting a B, and a lot of posters kind of imply this is a normal reaction (so you can only continue with foreign languages if you get an A at each level?)
And yes, I also spend way too much time worrying about this and if it means my son won't be able get into UMCP for science or engineering despite having all As for everything else and routinely scoring above 99th percentile on MAP -M....

As the parent of a current senior and two older kids in college, let me give you this unsolicited piece of advice.

Accept the fact right now that your son very well may not get into UMCP, especially in those majors. The odds are against it in fact.

But so what? Are you going to disown him? Are you going to slit your wrists or drink yourself into oblivion? Is this your goal or his?

Having this narrow of a goal for a 14 or 15 year old is a recipe for disaster, if you want to maintain a decent relationship with your son in these crucial last few years that he is in your daily life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel you OP, my son may also be heading for a B in Spanish 4, as a freshman, his last B being in Spanish 1, in 6th grade... I know that PP say it's OK, but honestly, it's easy to get the impression that everyone gets all As, or at least that you need all As to get into a good school by reading this forum... there is at least 1 thread where a parent wants to move their kid out of Spanish 4 because they're getting a B, and a lot of posters kind of imply this is a normal reaction (so you can only continue with foreign languages if you get an A at each level?)
And yes, I also spend way too much time worrying about this and if it means my son won't be able get into UMCP for science or engineering despite having all As for everything else and routinely scoring above 99th percentile on MAP -M....

As the parent of a current senior and two older kids in college, let me give you this unsolicited piece of advice.

Accept the fact right now that your son very well may not get into UMCP, especially in those majors. The odds are against it in fact.

But so what? Are you going to disown him? Are you going to slit your wrists or drink yourself into oblivion? Is this your goal or his?

Having this narrow of a goal for a 14 or 15 year old is a recipe for disaster, if you want to maintain a decent relationship with your son in these crucial last few years that he is in your daily life.

Putting aside whether or not it's the right thing, if a single B can make the difference for getting into a state school that's 1) excellent 2) cheaper than other options 3) close to family, it's perhaps understandable why parents can worry excessively about this stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah I know. It's okay. Land the helicopter. To him, I've only said encouraging comments--great job; I love to see how hard you're working; As long as you do your best, that's all that matters.

It's killing me though. I know it's the grade he deserves. It's AP Seminar and for my math loving science kid, this a new skill set, and one he can't power through. I also recognize that of all his classes, this is the most valuable at the moment. BC Calc is a breeze and chem isn't challenging nor is APES. He's not a humanities kid so he takes honors level English and History and won't go near the AP classes in these subjects. This is his first real writing class. He's leaning towards physics and says he wants his Phd--AP Seminar and AP Research are the classes that are going to give him those skills.

I will never share my thoughts with him but I had hopes that he would get through HS with straight As. I also realize that one or two Bs won't be the end and he won't be applying to T50 schools. So I suppose in the end it doesn't matter. But it hurts me.

Cool. My all As kid got an F last year because he didn't turn in the late work he was supposed to. He will be fine and so will your kid. You might not. Also I hope you are joking about the T50 schools. My older kids got multiple Bs and are in fact in T50 schools.

[Anonymous]

Just looked up the T50 schools list, yeah my kid has no intention of going to any of those schools so I'm not worried. She's only a Sophomore but so far we've visited American, Drexel, and Stevenson with plans to visit St Johns and Point Park in the Spring. I have no doubts she should be competitive with all of these schools as she currently has a 4.0 but is starting to take a more challenging courseload this year

[Anonymous]

Oh no, a B… what will you ever do with a B. The horror!

[Anonymous]

Good for your son for taking a class that challenges him and is giving him the skills he needs for the future.

[Anonymous]

If you are worried about a B, then everything else in your life must be absolutely perfect.

[Anonymous]

My son in a magnet got an unexpected B. His one and only in AP Stats junior year second semester. I was so sure he was heading for a perfect transcript when he applied to college. He took 14 APs and that wasn’t his hardest not by a long shot. I was angry.

It happens OP.

[Anonymous]

I moved my kid out of public school so he could get Bs and Cs. There’s a lot of grade inflation going on and if your kid gets straight As all throughout school, he hasn’t ever been challenged.