Considering Elite NE Boarding Schools for Son (Taft, Choate, Hotchkiss, Deerfield, etc.) Any advice?

[Anonymous]

Yea I call bullshit. If you can get your kid into any of these schools through your “connections” you surely have better avenues for information than crowd sourcing on an anonymous message board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine has a recent Deerfield grad. My friend is from a very wealthy and privileged background and has raised her kids similarly. She’s from the Northeast and well acquainted with private school and boarding school culture. And even she was disgusted by the blatant wealth at Deerfield and how it really guided who ruled the school.

Deerfield says that nearly 60% of the students are now on significant financial aid…average like $60k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM is notoriously anti-boarding. Prepare for people asking you why you hate your kid or why your kid hates you.

This sub is filled with out-of-touch people who don't understand that day school isn't a good option for everyone. Some families are divorced. Some parents travel a ton and can't watch over their kids constantly.

Why have kids if you can’t spend a lot of time with them?

Because people's life circumstances change. This is just an absurd question.

It’s actually a damn good question. Parents who believe that they must “travel a ton” and ship their kids off to boarding school so that they can do so at the drop of a hat should never have had kids in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is laughable that you think your connections can get him in. I would love to see the surprise on your face when decisions come out.

I'm OP. We have family members on the board of several of these schools and he's also a recruited athlete with coaches' interest at several of them.

If you truly had those connections, you would not be on DCUM asking about these schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is laughable that you think your connections can get him in. I would love to see the surprise on your face when decisions come out.

I'm OP. We have family members on the board of several of these schools and he's also a recruited athlete with coaches' interest at several of them.

If you truly had those connections, you would not be on DCUM asking about these schools.

Maybe, maybe not.

Sending a child to boarding school is a life changing decision for the entire family--the student, siblings,and the parents. Parents seek out first hand advice where ever it can be found.

We looked at several elite boarding schools (Andover, Exeter, and St.Paul's among others) and wanted a school with 100% boarding, 50/50 male/female ratio and preferred Saturday morning classes (to keep kids on campus during the weekends).

Did not like the one building for all/almost classes offered by Hotchkiss--seemed too much like a local public high school in that respect.

When a substantial percentage of students are non-boarding, but the majority are boarders, then alcohol & drugs get brought onto campus frequently.

Deerfield was given consideration as was Groton. At that time, Deerfield had just gone through a serious issue with bullying and Groton had a male student who sexually assaulted many other younger male boarding students in the open dorm. was not a secret, but was not dealt with until outside publicity became "a problem."

Students at the elite boarding schools think on a different level than do students at even elite non-boarding schools because they are around brilliant, motivated classmates 24/7 as well as around faculty members 24/7.

[Anonymous]

Our issue with the local elite private schools in our area was commute time. Serious issue that made boarding school a wise decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM is notoriously anti-boarding. Prepare for people asking you why you hate your kid or why your kid hates you.

This sub is filled with out-of-touch people who don't understand that day school isn't a good option for everyone. Some families are divorced. Some parents travel a ton and can't watch over their kids constantly.

Why have kids if you can’t spend a lot of time with them?

Because people's life circumstances change. This is just an absurd question.

It’s actually a damn good question. Parents who believe that they must “travel a ton” and ship their kids off to boarding school so that they can do so at the drop of a hat should never have had kids in the first place.

Don’t worry about them. They’d never send their children to the same school as your spawn.

[Anonymous]

Loomis and Taft are a tier below the others you’ve mentioned. As similarly stated by a PP above, I would agree that “spoiled brat money culture” is stronger at Hotchkiss or Choate than at Andover or Exeter

[Anonymous]

Based on our experience, students had, and maintained, very close relationships with their parents and siblings.

Typically, the students needed a more challenging environment and the family all agreed that boarding school was the best option. The other students all appeared to be very happy and well loved by their families. However, I am familiar only with the top boarding schools.

[Anonymous]

Um, it’s really not that hard to get in with a bright kid, full pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Loomis and Taft are a tier below the others you’ve mentioned. As similarly stated by a PP above, I would agree that “spoiled brat money culture” is stronger at Hotchkiss or Choate than at Andover or Exeter

Agree 100% with the bolded statement above.

Andover & Exeter were founded as egalitarian schools rather than as a place for wealthy families to send their sons and daughters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is laughable that you think your connections can get him in. I would love to see the surprise on your face when decisions come out.

I'm OP. We have family members on the board of several of these schools and he's also a recruited athlete with coaches' interest at several of them.

If you truly had those connections, you would not be on DCUM asking about these schools.

Maybe, maybe not.

Did not like the one building for all/almost classes offered by Hotchkiss--seemed too much like a local public high school in that respect.

This is a matter of preference, but the one building for all classes is a huge benefit when the winter comes. It shields students from the elements. At a school like Choate, he'd have to put on his coat multiple times through the day and trudge through snow to get to his next class.

[Anonymous]

It's much easier to get 95+ grades at Loomis and Taft than Choate and Deerfield. The kids at Loomis and Taft usually have more time to have fun and enjoy high school than the Deerfield or Choate kids as a result.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is laughable that you think your connections can get him in. I would love to see the surprise on your face when decisions come out.

I'm OP. We have family members on the board of several of these schools and he's also a recruited athlete with coaches' interest at several of them.

If you truly had those connections, you would not be on DCUM asking about these schools.

Maybe, maybe not.

Did not like the one building for all/almost classes offered by Hotchkiss--seemed too much like a local public high school in that respect.

This is a matter of preference, but the one building for all classes is a huge benefit when the winter comes. It shields students from the elements. At a school like Choate, he'd have to put on his coat multiple times through the day and trudge through snow to get to his next class.

If daily snow and cold are significant inconveniences for your child, they won’t thrive at boarding school. It’s the least of their challenges

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine has a recent Deerfield grad. My friend is from a very wealthy and privileged background and has raised her kids similarly. She’s from the Northeast and well acquainted with private school and boarding school culture. And even she was disgusted by the blatant wealth at Deerfield and how it really guided who ruled the school.

My friend's kid went to Deerfield for junior year because she hated going to a local elite girl',s private school here. Girl was a "so-so" student but family was " name on a building" wealthy. She liked Deerfield. With extreme wealth you can usually go snywhere OP. Are you uber rich?