Advice to your younger soccer parent self

[Anonymous]

Don’t take things so seriously especially before high school ages. They are kids not professionals. Constantly focusing on last weeks game, the upcoming game, scouting out the other teams players like every game is the super bowl, getting caught up in the drama. Too much attention leads to too much pressure and focus on the game scores.

Don’t think your young player is a special talent because they likely are not. Special talent is obvious and rare. You’ll know it when you see it. And don’t even consider special until after puberty. Puberty changes everything.

Drive and interest needs to come from the kid. Practicing on their own, watching games, fitness, nutrition, sacrifice. Make sure your kid isn’t doing it because they think that’s what you want. Don’t make soccer be the whole foundation of your relationship with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My oldest is only U17, so I may not qualify but we are approaching the first end of this thing, but i would add, go with best technical training at the youngest age. Do not stress about team name, clout or rank, find a coach who makes your 8-9 year old badly juggle for the first 15 minutes of training.

Turn off any soccer instagram requests for you, suggested follows, or follows for any kid U13. All it does is heighten the FOMO.

At a young age, find at least some kind of futsal program in the off season for technical heightening.

Avoid any program that does not let you pass until U11. Dribbling is important but its not the whole game.

Let your not college bound player live and thrive and love with their high school team.

Let your girl play with the boys as long as possible.

Move your girl who is able to and would like to play in college to an ECNL/GA program by U13. It is close to impossible to catch up to the speed of play otherwise. The college exposure follows.

+1

I only disagree with the dribbling comment but overall this was a thoughtful post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t take things so seriously especially before high school ages. They are kids not professionals. Constantly focusing on last weeks game, the upcoming game, scouting out the other teams players like every game is the super bowl, getting caught up in the drama. Too much attention leads to too much pressure and focus on the game scores.

Don’t think your young player is a special talent because they likely are not. Special talent is obvious and rare. You’ll know it when you see it. And don’t even consider special until after puberty. Puberty changes everything.

Drive and interest needs to come from the kid. Practicing on their own, watching games, fitness, nutrition, sacrifice. Make sure your kid isn’t doing it because they think that’s what you want. Don’t make soccer be the whole foundation of your relationship with them.

Sounds like you're just taking shots at people who choose to be beyond mediocre

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t take things so seriously especially before high school ages. They are kids not professionals. Constantly focusing on last weeks game, the upcoming game, scouting out the other teams players like every game is the super bowl, getting caught up in the drama. Too much attention leads to too much pressure and focus on the game scores.

Don’t think your young player is a special talent because they likely are not. Special talent is obvious and rare. You’ll know it when you see it. And don’t even consider special until after puberty. Puberty changes everything.

Drive and interest needs to come from the kid. Practicing on their own, watching games, fitness, nutrition, sacrifice. Make sure your kid isn’t doing it because they think that’s what you want. Don’t make soccer be the whole foundation of your relationship with them.

Sounds like you're just taking shots at people who choose to be beyond mediocre

Seems to me we have 2 people who have different views on what it takes to succeed. Ironically, both can work, so you're both right in way!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t take things so seriously especially before high school ages. They are kids not professionals. Constantly focusing on last weeks game, the upcoming game, scouting out the other teams players like every game is the super bowl, getting caught up in the drama. Too much attention leads to too much pressure and focus on the game scores.

Don’t think your young player is a special talent because they likely are not. Special talent is obvious and rare. You’ll know it when you see it. And don’t even consider special until after puberty. Puberty changes everything.

Drive and interest needs to come from the kid. Practicing on their own, watching games, fitness, nutrition, sacrifice. Make sure your kid isn’t doing it because they think that’s what you want. Don’t make soccer be the whole foundation of your relationship with them.

Sounds like you're just taking shots at people who choose to be beyond mediocre

Seems to me we have 2 people who have different views on what it takes to succeed. Ironically, both can work, so you're both right in way!

Best to go with proven versus theoretical

What did the parents of successful soccer players actually do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t take things so seriously especially before high school ages. They are kids not professionals. Constantly focusing on last weeks game, the upcoming game, scouting out the other teams players like every game is the super bowl, getting caught up in the drama. Too much attention leads to too much pressure and focus on the game scores.

Don’t think your young player is a special talent because they likely are not. Special talent is obvious and rare. You’ll know it when you see it. And don’t even consider special until after puberty. Puberty changes everything.

Drive and interest needs to come from the kid. Practicing on their own, watching games, fitness, nutrition, sacrifice. Make sure your kid isn’t doing it because they think that’s what you want. Don’t make soccer be the whole foundation of your relationship with them.

Sounds like you're just taking shots at people who choose to be beyond mediocre

Seems to me we have 2 people who have different views on what it takes to succeed. Ironically, both can work, so you're both right in way!

Best to go with proven versus theoretical

What did the parents of successful soccer players actually do

I've seen and read about families who have done both. What I think we have here are people trying to validate what they do, so they are attacking what they don't agree with or are insecure about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My oldest is only U17, so I may not qualify but we are approaching the first end of this thing, but i would add, go with best technical training at the youngest age. Do not stress about team name, clout or rank, find a coach who makes your 8-9 year old badly juggle for the first 15 minutes of training.

Turn off any soccer instagram requests for you, suggested follows, or follows for any kid U13. All it does is heighten the FOMO.

This. I would add….

Technical skill before 15. Otherwise the gym (weights) after 15 to boost their ‘look’. Club soccer is all ‘pre’ moneyball (literally had club coach tell my son in a zoom session he had 93 percent pass rate, (VEO AI is amazing), it was highest in the entire club, and failed to promote him.

If MLS Next is your child’s wish, know that there are kids on top teams whose parents pay separate fees to the coach to play. currently I’m told by old coach it’s a car payment. Sometimes it’s flat out new car.

Some parents have private jets for games (Dallas Cup, MLS Next in Cali) and their kid most definitely makes top team. Sucks but college coaches only recruit from club. Corruption rules but that’s the reality.

This is crucial to know - highly unlikely even gifted child (boy) will make MLS Next 1 after U13 if not on U13 MLS Next 1 Team by U13. American club coaches don’t know the game.

Club values physical ‘profile’ and speed. There are no Messi’s in American club. MLS Next kids will have both most of time. Any small player on top teams has bucks.

The real kicker of club soccer is that after all fees paid the current trend is recruiting only kids who have failed out of European club academies! With full rides!

Good luck! We have one more year of paying (club fees), never paid a coach separately- except for private lessons and all of us can’t wait for this to be done with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My oldest is only U17, so I may not qualify but we are approaching the first end of this thing, but i would add, go with best technical training at the youngest age. Do not stress about team name, clout or rank, find a coach who makes your 8-9 year old badly juggle for the first 15 minutes of training.

Turn off any soccer instagram requests for you, suggested follows, or follows for any kid U13. All it does is heighten the FOMO.

This. I would add….

Technical skill before 15. Otherwise the gym (weights) after 15 to boost their ‘look’. Club soccer is all ‘pre’ moneyball (literally had club coach tell my son in a zoom session he had 93 percent pass rate, (VEO AI is amazing), it was highest in the entire club, and failed to promote him.

If MLS Next is your child’s wish, know that there are kids on top teams whose parents pay separate fees to the coach to play. currently I’m told by old coach it’s a car payment. Sometimes it’s flat out new car.

Some parents have private jets for games (Dallas Cup, MLS Next in Cali) and their kid most definitely makes top team. Sucks but college coaches only recruit from club. Corruption rules but that’s the reality.

This is crucial to know - highly unlikely even gifted child (boy) will make MLS Next 1 after U13 if not on U13 MLS Next 1 Team by U13. American club coaches don’t know the game.

Club values physical ‘profile’ and speed. There are no Messi’s in American club. MLS Next kids will have both most of time. Any small player on top teams has bucks.

The real kicker of club soccer is that after all fees paid the current trend is recruiting only kids who have failed out of European club academies! With full rides!

Good luck! We have one more year of paying (club fees), never paid a coach separately- except for private lessons and all of us can’t wait for this to be done with.

Not cynical at all

[Anonymous]

If your child decides to leave rec for travel, do not play for travel teams coached by parent coaches. They cannot remain objective as the kids get older and many also favor their kids friends and when there is friend fallout there is often a noticeable change at soccer too.

Follow your kids lead and don’t get caught up in the social pressure of other kids or parents. If your child is a goalkeeper seek out goalkeeper training outside of your team. Private goalkeeper training is much better than the group training many clubs offer.

Do not start thinking about college. If your child is talented enough and has the desire to play at that level, it will be obvious by their effort and drive. Let them drive the process. Support but do not pressure.

[Anonymous]

Play rec on a neighborhood team for as long as you can. Those are our best memories. When you move to travel, consider a mid level step first, like SAM Select or MSI Classic. Choose a fun Club, where they treat kids like kids, not like mini professionals. (Juventus, ROSA or MSI come to mind.)

If your kid is talented athletically, they will be discovered. You aren’t going to turn them into a soccer star. They will need to train on their own to get better.

HS soccer is extremely competitive here but some of the coaches have absolutely no idea what they are doing. Be careful with who your kids are around.

Let the kid lead the way. They own this journey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your child decides to leave rec for travel, do not play for travel teams coached by parent coaches. They cannot remain objective as the kids get older and many also favor their kids friends and when there is friend fallout there is often a noticeable change at soccer too.

Follow your kids lead and don’t get caught up in the social pressure of other kids or parents. If your child is a goalkeeper seek out goalkeeper training outside of your team. Private goalkeeper training is much better than the group training many clubs offer.

Do not start thinking about college. If your child is talented enough and has the desire to play at that level, it will be obvious by their effort and drive. Let them drive the process. Support but do not pressure.

In this era of constant distractions especially from screens, a 100% independent self driven kid must be a unicorn

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t take things so seriously especially before high school ages. They are kids not professionals. Constantly focusing on last weeks game, the upcoming game, scouting out the other teams players like every game is the super bowl, getting caught up in the drama. Too much attention leads to too much pressure and focus on the game scores.

Don’t think your young player is a special talent because they likely are not. Special talent is obvious and rare. You’ll know it when you see it. And don’t even consider special until after puberty. Puberty changes everything.

Drive and interest needs to come from the kid. Practicing on their own, watching games, fitness, nutrition, sacrifice. Make sure your kid isn’t doing it because they think that’s what you want. Don’t make soccer be the whole foundation of your relationship with them.

Sounds like you're just taking shots at people who choose to be beyond mediocre

I see you are in the 90% of people who think they are in the top 10% of talent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t take things so seriously especially before high school ages. They are kids not professionals. Constantly focusing on last weeks game, the upcoming game, scouting out the other teams players like every game is the super bowl, getting caught up in the drama. Too much attention leads to too much pressure and focus on the game scores.

Don’t think your young player is a special talent because they likely are not. Special talent is obvious and rare. You’ll know it when you see it. And don’t even consider special until after puberty. Puberty changes everything.

Drive and interest needs to come from the kid. Practicing on their own, watching games, fitness, nutrition, sacrifice. Make sure your kid isn’t doing it because they think that’s what you want. Don’t make soccer be the whole foundation of your relationship with them.

Sounds like you're just taking shots at people who choose to be beyond mediocre

I see you are in the 90% of people who think they are in the top 10% of talent.

There is no top 10%

Everyone gets a medal 🏅

[Anonymous]

I disagree with the talent will show itself comment. It’s not talent. Kids as young as 5 have private trainers and are working out, ima professional gym, for agility and strength. Trust me.
Talent is built by parents who have money, time, and awareness that this can be the ticket for a college, at least on the girls side.
My DD LOVES soccer. Lives with a ball at her feet. Dying to play in college. I didn’t know any of this stuff and it’s simply too late in 9th grade.

[Anonymous]

In a, not ima