Weekly long commute for job

[Anonymous]

Depends on how much the pay is but he can keep looking for a job in the meantime.

[Anonymous]

I understand the pension consideration. But your son loving his school isn’t as good a reason unless he’s already well into HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I would take it but keep aggressively looking. Having a job makes it easier to get a job.

Super commuting is possible but gets exhausting quickly.

+1
What other option do you have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in DC with one teenage son. I have a job tied to DC. DH was laid off in February and there is absolutely nothing for him in the DC area. He just got an offer for a good paying job in the midwest. I really can’t move there due to work reasons and pension, and son loves his school and friends. His potential employer is offering two days/week of telework, so he could be in midwest M-W and back in DC Th-Sunday. This is not at all ideal but rent for a studio there is cheap so we could financially swing it. Interested in whether anyone has had this situation before.

I did it, is wonderful for marriage. I had a small studio walking distance to office. But I had 5 day a week in person. But I had it set up my boss I only come to workat few hours in morning on Friday in case something came up. I usualy leave around 11 am on Friday.

My Schedule was I took last flight out on Sunday night. So usually leave around 645 pm then I head home at 11am on Friday and got home around 6pm Friday I did it two years no problem. I got a months vacation and there was 10 holidays often on Mondays. If it was only two days a week I would do it forever.

After two years my wife moved only cause my company decided to give me some cash towards buying a house. So after 6 months I owned a home in another state. That company gave up to six months a subsidy on commuting back and forth and rent. And a second subsidy if I bought. Was a nice house in a great area so I bought cause it was a good investment and I would be paying rent anyhow. And the theory would be in summer or long weekends maybe my wife and kids could come visit me so I did not have to fly back and forth.

In the 18 months my family visited ZERO times. No kid wanted to leave their firends to go and wife always had stuff going on and a dog. Was a pipe dream.

But while doing it I met tons of people in the lounge on Sunday night and coming back Friday at lunch time who were doing what I was doing some for 10-20 years. I am not very chit chatty on Plane etc. But when you litterally see same guy or women in lounge going same way you are going for weeks, then months you talke. I met lots of interesting folks.

I did 48 round trips in one year. It actuallly was very relaxing me and my wife. She get dinner on table Sunday night early as I was heading out. Then her and kids would hang out on Sunday night Mommy kids time. Then during week me gone sometimes she would do fun food and stuff as I was not home. Then on weekends since home only two days I really focused on projects, helping wife, home improvements, taking kids out, spending time family, Before that I was there all the time so wasted weekends.

[Anonymous]

I would never miss out on so much of my child's life, especially since he'll be leaving home soon.

[Anonymous]

Yes it can be done. Also think about working Th-F-M-T then being home Wed-Wed if that works for employer. Also, I’d try to set an end date, such as through DC’s high school or until minimum retirement age for one of you.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I have discussed this when he retires. I will continue to work a couple more years in DC until I can retire. I think it’s doable if there is an end in sight.

[Anonymous]

I would expect visits to be twice a month. That's a lot of travel to do on a weekly basis.

[Anonymous]

I would consider it, but your husband has to like travel, and you have to like solo parenting in order for it to work. If either of you feels hesitation towards your role, you will be sad and resentful.

I'm rolling my eyes at the poster up thread who said his wife loved the "mommy and kids time"... yeah right, I'd like to hear her side of being left with every parenting responsibility except the fun ones that you showed up for on the weekends, after carefree leaving the dinner table on Sunday night! Unless she didn't like you to begin with, this wasn't a good situation.