16 year old bf/gf - supervision

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How are they getting from point A to B? That would be my concern. Also I’ve also heard that most co-Ed get together at friends houses are not parent-supervised and kids with very lax parents throw parties - with parent-supplied or allowed alcohol. And there is a lot of sex going on!

- source is my 16yo daughter, a goody-two-shoes who doesn’t have a boyfriend and doesn’t get invited to many parties because she tells her mom everything

I’m sure some kids have this experience but none that I know. I’ve been through this with three kids. Most parents don’t allow parties in their houses and those that do supervise. There is not parent supplied alcohol. I don’t know where your DD hangs out but her experience is not the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are they getting from point A to B? That would be my concern. Also I’ve also heard that most co-Ed get together at friends houses are not parent-supervised and kids with very lax parents throw parties - with parent-supplied or allowed alcohol. And there is a lot of sex going on!

- source is my 16yo daughter, a goody-two-shoes who doesn’t have a boyfriend and doesn’t get invited to many parties because she tells her mom everything

I’m sure some kids have this experience but none that I know. I’ve been through this with three kids. Most parents don’t allow parties in their houses and those that do supervise. There is not parent supplied alcohol. I don’t know where your DD hangs out but her experience is not the norm.

Dc area has a lot of this type of permissive parenting - it isn’t the norm elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

She is a guest in our house and not somebody I need to monitor.

We have a large basement and a nice backyard. They can hang out there as much as they want without me monitoring them.

They’re not going upstairs cause it’s just not comfortable our bedrooms aren’t a big places to hang out.

I’ve spoken to my child about being loving and respectful and using condoms. My expectation is that her parents are doing the same.

If her parents have rules, they can call me and I can implement them, but that’s never happened with any of my children.

There is no alcohol that is accessible from me.

[Anonymous]

Exactly, would you like to be a young grandmother?

Bedroom…no.

Bring snacks, drinks into public room where they are at intervals. Be just annoying and present enough.

[Anonymous]

Wow .. Yeah absolutely NOT to his bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are they getting from point A to B? That would be my concern. Also I’ve also heard that most co-Ed get together at friends houses are not parent-supervised and kids with very lax parents throw parties - with parent-supplied or allowed alcohol. And there is a lot of sex going on!

- source is my 16yo daughter, a goody-two-shoes who doesn’t have a boyfriend and doesn’t get invited to many parties because she tells her mom everything

I’m sure some kids have this experience but none that I know. I’ve been through this with three kids. Most parents don’t allow parties in their houses and those that do supervise. There is not parent supplied alcohol. I don’t know where your DD hangs out but her experience is not the norm.

Dc area has a lot of this type of permissive parenting - it
isn’t the norm elsewhere.

Precisely
Yes to 16/17 year old in bedrooms BUT no to a Travis Scott or Tyler the C concert

Wild bizness!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is a guest in our house and not somebody I need to monitor.

We have a large basement and a nice backyard. They can hang out there as much as they want without me monitoring them.

They’re not going upstairs cause it’s just not comfortable our bedrooms aren’t a big places to hang out.

I’ve spoken to my child about being loving and respectful and using condoms. My expectation is that her parents are doing the same.

If her parents have rules, they can call me and I can implement them, but that’s never happened with any of my children.

There is no alcohol that is accessible from me.

This. I’ll parent my child, you parent yours, if you have specific rules call me, and even better discuss it with your teen. I’m fine if they want to hang out in the bedroom and close the door, or have sex past 16. I won’t facilitate, but also I’m not going to police it either. Barging in unannounced in the basement or bedroom sounds silly.

Cue in the moral outrage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Next time before they come over provide a large box of condoms - enough for them to make mistakes with - and several tubes of lube… be tactful, in a basket or something with a sweet note about romance. Better they start the right way now before winding up in the backseat of their car being watched by tramps somewhere in Loudon.

Maybe sit down with the girls parents and map out where both families feel sexual activity is appropriate - doesn’t make sense to have different rules in different houses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Exactly, would you like to be a young grandmother?

Bedroom…no.

Bring snacks, drinks into public room where they are at intervals. Be just annoying and present enough.

This will drive them to backseats and the backyards of friends - you’re exposing them to a lot of danger.

Better to keep them in the house with sex positive message - condoms and lube on that tray with snacks and a safe and comfortable place to experiment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Next time before they come over provide a large box of condoms - enough for them to make mistakes with - and several tubes of lube… be tactful, in a basket or something with a sweet note about romance. Better they start the right way now before winding up in the backseat of their car being watched by tramps somewhere in Loudon.

Maybe sit down with the girls parents and map out where both families feel sexual activity is appropriate - doesn’t make sense to have different rules in different houses.

It’s not my business to discuss sex related issues of a teen that’s not my child. The discussion is awkward and inappropriate, and I’m not going to take it upon myself to enforce any rules the other parents settle on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Next time before they come over provide a large box of condoms - enough for them to make mistakes with - and several tubes of lube… be tactful, in a basket or something with a sweet note about romance. Better they start the right way now before winding up in the backseat of their car being watched by tramps somewhere in Loudon.

Maybe sit down with the girls parents and map out where both families feel sexual activity is appropriate - doesn’t make sense to have different rules in different houses.

It’s not my business to discuss sex related issues of a teen that’s not my child. The discussion is awkward and inappropriate, and I’m not going to take it upon myself to enforce any rules the other parents settle on.

It’s not rules, it’s encouraging them to be safe and comfortable.

I understand it’s awkward but arrive with a bottle of wine for her parents and it’ll be worth the visit for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is a guest in our house and not somebody I need to monitor.

We have a large basement and a nice backyard. They can hang out there as much as they want without me monitoring them.

They’re not going upstairs cause it’s just not comfortable our bedrooms aren’t a big places to hang out.

I’ve spoken to my child about being loving and respectful and using condoms. My expectation is that her parents are doing the same.

If her parents have rules, they can call me and I can implement them, but that’s never happened with any of my children.

There is no alcohol that is accessible from me.

This. I’ll parent my child, you parent yours, if you have specific rules call me, and even better discuss it with your teen. I’m fine if they want to hang out in the bedroom and close the door, or have sex past 16. I won’t facilitate, but also I’m not going to police it either. Barging in unannounced in the basement or bedroom sounds silly.

Cue in the moral outrage.

Doesn’t sound like you parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is a guest in our house and not somebody I need to monitor.

We have a large basement and a nice backyard. They can hang out there as much as they want without me monitoring them.

They’re not going upstairs cause it’s just not comfortable our bedrooms aren’t a big places to hang out.

I’ve spoken to my child about being loving and respectful and using condoms. My expectation is that her parents are doing the same.

If her parents have rules, they can call me and I can implement them, but that’s never happened with any of my children.

There is no alcohol that is accessible from me.

This. I’ll parent my child, you parent yours, if you have specific rules call me, and even better discuss it with your teen. I’m fine if they want to hang out in the bedroom and close the door, or have sex past 16. I won’t facilitate, but also I’m not going to police it either. Barging in unannounced in the basement or bedroom sounds silly.

Cue in the moral outrage.

Doesn’t sound like you parent

Seriously... it's one thing to decide you won't be the sex police, another thing to encourage it. They're kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is a guest in our house and not somebody I need to monitor.

We have a large basement and a nice backyard. They can hang out there as much as they want without me monitoring them.

They’re not going upstairs cause it’s just not comfortable our bedrooms aren’t a big places to hang out.

I’ve spoken to my child about being loving and respectful and using condoms. My expectation is that her parents are doing the same.

If her parents have rules, they can call me and I can implement them, but that’s never happened with any of my children.

There is no alcohol that is accessible from me.

This. I’ll parent my child, you parent yours, if you have specific rules call me, and even better discuss it with your teen. I’m fine if they want to hang out in the bedroom and close the door, or have sex past 16. I won’t facilitate, but also I’m not going to police it either. Barging in unannounced in the basement or bedroom sounds silly.

Cue in the moral outrage.

Doesn’t sound like you parent

Seriously... it's one thing to decide you won't be the sex police, another thing to encourage it. They're kids!

Before you get worked up further I specifically said I won’t facilitate it. If you don’t know what it means look it up in the dictionary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No to the bedroom.

+1. She should not be in his bedroom OP. Ever. Do we really have to tell you that?